Friend with depression, I need a little help

[Lindsey14]

Okay so my best friend struggles with severe depression and i feel bad because sometimes my anxiety/depression makes me feel distant from her and emotionally numb....I feel like a terrible friend when this happens. Also this is sorta changing the topic, but sometimes talking to her over text when she talks about suicidal stuff or self harm, it doesnt feel real, ik that sounds stupid, but i guess im in denial sometimes or something.....

[gogogirl]

I am an old person- and I think someone speaking like that needs much more than a text- they need in person support and professional help.

[Eowyn7]

I think feeling distant from others is a normal symptom of depression/anxiety. Also, if she talks about this a lot it could start to seem normal to you. However, you should take it seriously and give her a call when she talks about suicide. Tell her you are there for her and where to get help.

[Tutumama in reply to Eowyn7]

Does she talk about suicide and self harm so often through text that you feel like that's why you're numb to it? You're just so used to her doing it that you don't think or feel it's real?

She likely needs more help than you can give her (but you could reassure her or try to talk her down over the phone maybe?), she needs some professional help. A counselor she could call or text, someone who could just come over and be with her, suicide hotline is very helpful.

I know it doesn't help your depression and anxiety when it feels as if someone is trying to lean on you when you can't even lean on yourself. It's hard, I understand. You feel more pressure put on you when you already feel like you have enough of your own.

Maybe you can suggest for her to call the suicide hotline and talk with someone or go to the Dr if she already hasn't, but still try to be there for her in some way? Tell her she needs these things bc you're not always equipped to know how to help but you do try.

I really hope you can get some help for your issues so that you quit feeling emotionally numb yourself. I know it's not a good feeling. I've been there many times myself.

Love and Hugs!

[Lindsey14 in reply to Tutumama]

Thank you

[Essentiallyfree]

I think it's normal to feel distant from people when we have depression anxiety; its the isolation we think is "safe" yet causes more emotional turmoil. You aren't alone. I think for both of you it's important and wise, to get a support group you can attend, a church group, or a counselor; someone(s) you can bounce things off of. Getting help is crucial and totally ok! Typically when people are talking about self-harm/suicide it's a definite cry for help and not something to ignore. Whether or not she is serious it's important to treat it like it is. She is clearly hurting and needs some support. Take care and stay connected to a support system!