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Spirit19 profile image
49 Replies

Does it make sense if i say I feel nothing ?

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Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19
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49 Replies

That’s depression. You’ve got to find your spark again. What did you love as a kid? What would you do if you could do anything?

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to Strongheartforever

I loved feeding doughnuts to my dog when momma said not too .... I loved to climb trees and go walking down trails ...

I wish I still loved doing that ...

It's definitely depression. I've been there many times. What makes you happy? What makes you feel more you?

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to

What makes me feel more me is something I’ve been struggling with for awhile now ... drugs

in reply to Spirit19

Oh, no. You must have other hobbies and interests.

Kaez profile image
Kaez

This is going to sound weird but I wish for that a lot. I'm too emotional and high strung. I guess that's why my anxiety is horrible and causes me to not be able to do the things I used to enjoy. So sounds like your on the opposite side of the spectrum where you want the emotion and joy out experiencing life. I would think antidepressants would help you and finding what truly makes you happy and feel again.

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to Kaez

I felt better before I was on so many meds at once .... I don’t think I need to be on so many at once

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

I know what you mean about taking loads of different medications, sometimes I get symptoms that I have no idea where they came from, probably different side effects of different medications most of the time but difficult to pinpoint. I don't think I'd bother with all these meds if I could manage without them, they make me feel numb and empty, a sense of loss even 😔

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to rach1402

I have a sense of loss too ....

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

It's horrible but you're not alone, a lot of us here feel that way. Keep talking to us, it will help you feel more understood x

jurnee33 profile image
jurnee33 in reply to Kaez

agreed 100% I used to have so much joy and now im just sadder then ive ever been. Most is because of how sensitive I am.

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to jurnee33

I’m sensitive too ...

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

Maybe it's a defence mechanism to protect ourselves because we feel too much 🤔

jurnee33 profile image
jurnee33

I wish I could feel nothing

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to jurnee33

I can’t stand feeling bad everyday of my life ... chest pains from anxiety hard to breathe panic attacks ... etc ...

Is it bad that I don’t know exactly why I’m depressed ....

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

No, it's not your fault, depression can have all kinds of causes. I think society expects us to blame but sometimes we just never understand why we feel or think the way we do.

2tired2beme profile image
2tired2beme

yes, absolutely, that is depression. Can you go for a walk and find the beauty in nature, take that time to remember feeding donuts to your dog! Talk to your doctor about medication and ways to help. Have you tried YouTube for meditation for depression?

It's really hard to 'bounce back' or 'snap out of it'. you have to find one thing that you enjoy that you can look forward to... exercise is key to releasing the happy hormones!

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to 2tired2beme

I’ve been self medicating and I feel like shouldn’t but it’s an addiction for me and it makes me hate myself

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

Try to be kind to yourself. You may have developed some unhelpful coping strategies but with the right help you can turn it around. Be strong x

broken4886 profile image
broken4886

I think it absolutely think it makes sense. I got through stages where I feel nothing and then I go through stages where I feel so sad I can’t stop crying even if I tried. And then there are also good days and moments here and there. It sucks but it’s part of the cycle of depression. It’s not abnormal to feel that way. It is good to talk to someone or seek help when you do. Maybe you need a med adjustment (if you are on any) or maybe you just need to talk it out.

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to broken4886

It’s like when I try to talk my mind goes blank and freeze ....

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

yes....it does honey. I am so happy your reaching out......

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist

I’m just scared of what’s next ...

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Spirit19

you are in control right now.....this moment.... and that is all you need to deal with....keep your head focused on what your doing today..... don't worry about tomorrow...it's not here yet. Keep sharing and also when you comment on others posts and read them you will find how others are coping with the same stuff...and it can help you figure out what will work for you. You know what you need to do to get your head clear kiddo.....and getting honest with you is all that matters....everything else will follow.... we are going to always have to struggle....but being clear headed to do it makes the struggle easier sometimes.... numbing your feelings can leave us stuck. I am in your corner kiddo.... and you know that.....

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist

I don’t know how I’m going to get myself to stop self medicating

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Spirit19

we talked about it honey.....and you know that you just have to get honest with yourself kiddo..... do you trust your therapist to talk to about this.... if not... there are other avenues that we also talked about. But you cannot get better otherwise. Nor can you just stop numbing your personal pain without any support and a doctors help so you don't have to suffer withdrawals...that can be terribly dangerous.

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist

It’s my battle no one else’s ... and I have to accept my fate ... I’m doing this to myself and I have yet figured out why

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Spirit19

But what are we all looking for honey.... to feel better....to be happier.... If I had given up when I was your age, I would not have had the privileged to be here talking to such a bright young and intelligent person who is just at the place I was. You know that in your heart.... I do care.... when you may feel it hard to feel....because it hurts.... I care.... because you deserve it.....

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist

I’m on the verge of tears 😭 that lump in your throat that hurts so much ....

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

You're feeling something 👍 keep talking!

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to rach1402

It’s very rare for me to cry ... I tend to cry when I’m talking about my problems

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

There's nothing wrong with crying, we're only human. Although you might feel like you should hide your feelings, that's not healthy. Talk away, tap into what's troubling you so you can start to unravel the hurt and negativity. Open up to your therapist like you have here. If you don't know where to start, show them your posts and replies on this forum. They can only help you if you let them in. I know it's hard to trust and open up when you've been let down and abandoned by those you have relied on before but this is different, your healthcare providers are trained to understand and help you. They won't judge you or be shocked by anything you say, they want to help you but you have to reach out to them so they can do that x

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Spirit19

stop believing the lies you have been told that you are not lovable, or worth being loved..... you are a good person who has had bad people hurt you.....that is on them. Don't give those monsters one more atom of your power.....take it back.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to fauxartist

let others, including me, be loving and caring to you until you can start believing in your own ability to love yourself.... you did not deserve the childhood you had, you didn't do anything wrong, you were just a kid honey...this is not your fault.

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist

I don’t know how to start too love myself ... I’ve always hated myself ... it’s what my brain says and what I feel and I wish it was different ...

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

It's good that you're taking responsibility for yourself but you don't have to go it alone, there is support out there and right here. All you have to do is reach out and take one step at a time x

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to rach1402

Even here I freeze typing because I don’t know what to say about my thoughts and problems ...

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Spirit19

You're doing really well, you're opening up. Don't overthink it, just let it flow. I understand how hard it is to reach out for help when the only response you got when you were growing up was like banging your head against a brick wall, emotional abuse and neglect have a lasting effect and there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Everyone needs help with something at some point in their lives and asking for that help is a healthy way of getting the ball rolling. You can get emotional support from us here and practical help and medical advice from the professionals. I'm so glad you've joined this group, you can post what's going on with you, talk about how you feel or just have good old rant to get it off your chest. We're always here for you and you can talk about anything without fear of judgement or rejection x

Yes it makes sense.one thing i have learned is to appreciate the sparks of happiness i het sometimes and although it may not last but a moment.reflecting on it and what caused it to happen helps me to manage

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to

Monday was a good day ... I loved it but yesterday and today I’ve been feeling down and have little energy

in reply to Spirit19

The best thing i have found for energy is exercise(walk..bike ride etc)..raw natural honey helps also..get out amongst creation such as trees ..water..gardens..sometimes i go to a nursery and just walk around creation

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to

It’s hard for me to go places because of my anxiety driving ... and being in a car period

Yes the numbness.. it’s a big part of depression for me 😔

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to

I want the numbness to go away so I can live my life and feel free .... and breathe freely ...

Ichthymom profile image
Ichthymom

It makes sense but doesn't sound healthy. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this in person?

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to Ichthymom

I have my therapist and psychiatrist.... but I freeze when I talk to them ...

Ichthymom profile image
Ichthymom in reply to Spirit19

How about like, family?

Spirit19 profile image
Spirit19 in reply to Ichthymom

I cry when I talk about anything with them ..

Ichthymom profile image
Ichthymom in reply to Spirit19

I think it's okay to cry and let your feelings out. I would go ahead and share with them what you're going through.

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