So depression has ended our marriage

[glentoran99]

I’m absolutely distraught, my wife has been suffering with depression and I’ve tried to be there and be supportive and be what she needs but she has now ended our marriage. Says she needs to be independent, do everything for herself, her feelings have changed and basically doesn’t want me around.

I’m just so lost. This isn’t her, the illness has taken so much of a toll on her she has just pushed me further and further away until breaking point now she says it’s over.

She is on medication, had some counselling which I believe actually made things worse, I don’t believe the medication is working but she does and therefore the doctor won’t change it or anything as she just goes by what my wife says.

I’m just broken

[fauxartist]

I terribly sorry for your brake-up.... this disease does change lives.

[glentoran99 in reply to fauxartist]

It’s awful I’m just so helpless

[fauxartist in reply to glentoran99]

it is like a death in our lives....I have gone through it....my marriage of 15yrs ended and I though I was going to just become un-done....and actually I did for a while. But I started doing some one on one therapy and also some group work on grief, and loss and letting go. I know you blame your wife's therapy for making her worse, but that is not always the case in therapy....it can also help you sort out your grief and loss. I'm glad your sharing here about it too, it always makes me feel better to write about it.

[Hidden]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. If it is any consolation, there is an other side. I was on the receiving end of the divorce speech. I was the one left behind and worse, my depression was used against me in court. We apparently still live in a society of stigmatization. You are NOT responsible for anyone else...only for yourself. You did all that you could, the rest is up to your wife. Now you need to take care of you because a broken heart is just as physically damaging as it is emotional. Additionally having served as a caregiver for someone with an illness, you no doubt neglected yourself for a while without realizing it. Take care of you and let other people take care of you as well. Lean in.