Immobilized by Worry

[Martok]

I have dealt with anxiety and depression since I was a child. I have had counseling, done a lot of work on meditation, mindfulness, ready many books over the years (REBT, CBT, ACT, Morita Therapy, meditation, on and on...). I have improved over the last 30 years, but when I get to a point where I feel uncertain (mainly work related). In my work (high-tech) things change so fast and it takes a lot of effort to keep up to date and position yourself so your skills are not irrelevant. It is like a never-ending race and there is No Finish Line.

The physical discomfort is so intense that it sucks me in, then negative fear-based thoughts just start going around and around in my head. I found with vipassana meditation (not struggling against these feeling helps) but at times I am so stuck it seems I cannot break out of these for days. Finally, I "wake" up and journal or talk to someone and this internal battle settles down.

If anyone has worked through a process to help with excessive worry (about something you cannot control) I would like to hear about it. What has helped me is meditation, Stoicism, rest, but at times these things are not enough. I feel like I want to reach into my mind and just remove these thoughts and way of being, they have such a hold on me at times I feel like a prisoner of my own mind.

[Strongheartforever]

Eckhart Tolle. That’s all you need to know. He will help you out of this. I’ve tried all you have over the years and was exposed to beautiful wisdom teachers, world-renowned, and yet the few bucks I spent to buy his audiobooks, books, lectures, videos, has been the best money ever spent. He will teach you to be the observer of your mind, from above. To see that future and past are merely thought forms, that your story isn’t you, that the ego feeds on pain to grow itself. So much more.

[Martok in reply to Strongheartforever]

I do like Tolle and listened to the Power of Now (on audible) dozens of times. I relate to his discussion on the pain-body for sure. It can take over like an entity.

[fauxartist]

Unfortunately for me...it your referring to the emotional roller coaster of depression....I just have to work through it....I try to rationally think of what's going on.... remind myself it's just the disease that has me in this place emotionally...but it's just really hard some days no matter what you do.... there is no cure.... only coping mechanisms.....

Your job must be extremely challenging...and your a super smart person to be in tech, I know. I stuck my big toe in the water with comp. repair many years ago and realized exactly what your having to deal with..... the advancement around what you know in the field is growing so rapidly, that it's like if you blink....something has passed you by already....so.... I applaud your ability's and intellect.....and hope you know that we are all hear for you when you do go through those dark days.....

honestly.... making friends here and feedback from all of the members has been the only thing that has pulled me back out of the abyss some days. Unconditional support, non-judgemental compassion.... feeling safe to just say exactly what I'm feeling and not cringing for some boiler plate reply of a 'quote of the day' or 'just get over it' comment. This is a good place to come on those days... that's the best advice I could give you.....

And as any Klingon would wish for you: 'Qapla'

[Martok in reply to fauxartist]

I appreciate your response and "Qapla" gave me a good laugh and smile. I needed that. I too deal with the depression roller coaster, and supplement plan by Linus Pauling has been a big help to me. orthomolecular.org/resource...

Even though that supplement program helped, my issue is I get stuck in loops of fear and anxiety. I am in therapy (again) but I have been through so many topics and books. What I find that helps in meditation and getting some distance between my thoughts and feelings.

I glad to see this community has been helpful for you.

[fauxartist in reply to Martok]

I think you'll find this place useful too in the way of feeling your not alone with this stuff, and that there is this cosmic organism of people out there who have similar issues and have all explored various coping methods....the thing about this depression and anxiety stuff is, that most don't get is that there is no cure....

The 'loops' as you say sounds similar to what I call my 'Hampster Wheel' in my head. I tend to dwell on a real or perceived problem till I can finally think through it....it's like I have this compulsion to resolve an issue and eventually I've through through every case scenario of 'said' issue until I've exhausted all avenues and myself of course trying to work things out. I don't know if that is similar or not to your 'loops'....but the one thing I have found is that I just have to 'break' the cycle some how. Either with distraction doing something else positive even if it's sitting down and working on my little crappy painting or watching something that takes my mind off in another direction. When I really get triggered though....I am stuck for a while...but I do know it won't last....and sometimes.....most of the time....it was a whole lot of worry or stressing over nothing that was that big of a deal in the first place.

Glad your sharing here....I think it does help us to write it out...cathartic

[AdamFCastillo31]

Yes, you are absolutely right reading books, meditations and cope-up strategies work well to get rid of depression and anxiety. Although Counselling is one of the best treatment methods to treat such types of mental health issues. Along with these treatment methods, a healthy diet and good sleeping habits are very much helpful. As it helps to boost your immune system to get recover.