At my wits end

[ronnellstc]

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months and was fully aware he had a child on the way w/ his ex. she has not given him any information in over 5 months . The child is due today, and my boyfriend is so stressed out. He just wants to meet his baby. Our best route is thru the court system, he is afraid he will not get anything. I really don't know what to do or say to help him at this point. My friends keep telling me, not to make his problems, my problems, but if i am in a relationship with him, his problems automatically become mine as well. This isn't some short term fling, we have discussed marriage,etc. I just feel helpless.

[fauxartist]

I think I understand what your friends are kind of saying.... in other words.... your boyfriend is really the only one who can do anything about dealing with visitation rights through the court etc.... and all you can do is be supportive.....which is good, but other than that, he has to make his own choices around his kid....and sometimes this is difficult and you could get caught up in it and your life disrupted....my partner and I always have issues around their kids.... and you will always come second.

[ronnellstc in reply to fauxartist]

I completely get what they and you are saying. As a single parent of a 21yr old son, who's father has never wanted part of his life, it breaks my hear to see my boyfriend not be included.

[writingforjoy]

I'm sorry, this must be heartbreaking! I agree with supporting as much as possible and making sure he protects his rights by going through the court system. He may have to go as far as proving paternity if the mother doesn't list him on the birth certificate. Better to get the ball rolling if he is interested as soon as possible as it can all take some time.

I pray that his father heart is filled with peace while he waits and that things work out. It is so good to have a man wanting to be a father, praying the mother starts to think of her babies needs. Blessings in this journey!