My wife committed suicide, and I have wished I could, did I romanticize it, or overvalued the relief it might give? I have three daughters that barely remember here, the youngest not at all. That is a shit sandwich! But, I think "someday I have a nice garnish with that shit sandwich, maybe a garlic aoli
"What if all the garnish is on this side, and after I will myself it will be dry shit samlndwichee forever!" You are stronger than you imagine, you love your family (my nuclear family gets on my nerves), and are young. Slug it out! You are bigger than this!