Ever since my mom got out in jail for murder everything changed I shut down I didn’t talk to anyone , I lost the one I needed most . All my life she lied to me saying everything is going to be okay . She always told me she’s doing everything right nothing wrong . When she’d take those pills and I’d sit there clueless. Then one day knock on the door it was the cops there to arrest my mom. I know why she took those pills because she knew she was getting arrested . So to this day I feel like I should be able to feel what she felt when she took those pills. But I’m far from it I feel nothing I’m numb I’m a zombie ! Someone so young on antidepressants and mood stabilizers etc ... shouldn’t be this way I should enjoy life but I don’t .. I’m drowning I’m get deeper and deeper everyday of my life. When will I feel again? When will I be me ? Feel things I know I should feel.