I could do better

[Krazie]

Hi, folks.

I am feeling very negative today, despite my best efforts. It seems my posts today reflect my negativity. I apologize. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, right?

[Sillysausage234]

It will ,your already thinking it will be so work on that🌞

[Stilltrying_]

Yes, let's hope so. x

[Lakewolf]

Always. One good thing: you have us now!

[Hidden]

No need to apologize for illness

[Maskoff]

I'm hoping tomorrow will be better! We're in it together

[Hidden]

I'm wishing that tomorrow will be a lovely day for you.

[Sunshine151515]

When you wake up tomorrow, just take a deep breath and tell yourself that i am going to have an amazing day today. Always start off your day w a lil positive outlook

[Krazie]

Thank you all for your many well wishes. Here's to positive thinking!!!

[Krazie]

An update: My anxiety level is so high I almost cannot deal with it. I feel as if I am having a constant panic attack. The situation causing it is getting worse. I am having dizzy spells so strong, I am nearly passing out. I am nauseous, with other digestive upsets. I cannot bring my self to eat. I have to knock myself out to sleep. I have tried all I know to reduce the attacks. I am not feeling at all positive, in spite of all my best efforts. All of my reassurances to myself, fall on deaf ears. Negative thoughts are consuming me, interfering with rational thought. My internal guidance system is failing me. I read others comments, and though I want respond with hope and positivity, the words are increasingly failing to materialize.

[Hidden in reply to Krazie]

So there is a situation that is causing your panic attacks? It sounds like you feel out of control over the situation and it is causing this ramped up panic energy. I’ve heard of radical acceptance therapy, there maybe some YouTube videos on it. I am also having major panic feelings, I am trying to coach myself too and to be honest it takes a long of energy and I don’t think I’m winning at times. But, you will enter moments of clarity and peace. Talk it out, cry it out, pray it out that’s my go to when I’m losing the battle.

[Krazie]

Yes, You are absolutely right. I do feel out of control over this situation, and I don't think the program exists that will help me to accept it. But thank you for mentioning this type of therapy. I will look into it.

I am just barely managing to hang on by my fingertips. Briefly, my precious grandson was taken out of his home by the state because of abusive boyfriend. The state has taken him somewhere, and will not tell any of the family members where he is. I am trying to locate a lawyer, but, many tell me they don't want to go up against the state. There has been judicial misconduct, but no one wants to address that either. I just have a gut deep feeling that more is going on than meets the eye. I am mulling over any possible solutions, that come to mind, but they are far and few between. I am running into a lot of brick walls.

I could use the clarity part, as the situation is getting more and more murky. There will be no peace in life until I get my grandson back.

[kevinloveslen]

Hello krazie, I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. As someone who is dealing with severe depression, I know how those negative thoughts can envelope you like the darkness that comes at dusk. Are you having a better day today? There have been only two things that have helped me bring light back into my life: family and faith. Do you have family or a support system (other than this one) to lean on? My faith has also really helped me out tremendously. Though I grew up in church, accepting Christ at an early age, I turned my back on Him when I was 15 and did not return until I was 28. I started going back to church, but my faith was still a work in process until I was selected to serve as the managing director of a community-based Hospice when I was 31. Over the course of three years, I spent numerous hours at the bedside of patients at the edge of eternity (death). We took care of patients with various diagnoses including cancer, heart failure, ALS, end-stage kidney failure, etc.). What I started to observe while attending the deaths was that there was a stark contrast between those who professed a belief in Christ and those who did not. There was a sense of peace and often joy when a Christian would pass, yet there was fear and angst with those who did not. This solidified my faith and has given me a sense of peace and joy on most days. That does not mean that I don’t have bad days…I am human and I still try to take things back into my hands. All that said, I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time and I hope things are going better for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kevin

[Krazie in reply to kevinloveslen]

Kevin, thank you for your kind words and sharing with me your beliefs about Christ. Yes, I have a strong faith in Christ, and have prayed every day.

Today, I was allowed to see my grandson. Out of the blue, I was contacted, and visit was arranged. My relief is tremendous. i have seen for my own eyes that things are okay with him. Regularly scheduled visits are planned. My next step is to gain guardianship of my grandson. I feel that everything will work out. And I am thankful to Christ for protecting my grandson, and keeping him safe.