My first posting ... my social anxiety

[MrZee]

Hello from my first post.

Social anxiety is a hard and saddening experience for me. I’ve had it all my life. Though when I was younger I was somewhat more socially involved. Now that I’m approaching 60, not only is my age hitting me hard, but the loneliness is too. I know there’s a lot of social groups out there to connect with. It’s easy to do so on the Internet. Yet in person my fear of being a joiner is overwhelming. I am hoping I can address this. I want to live a happier quality of life. I am hoping there’s others out there that can relate. I don’t want to live my life on the pity pot. Nor do I want to be involved with anyone who is. But I’m looking to connect with other people that seek help and support to conquer (or a fascimile thereof) social anxiety and who can share living a better social life. I’m in a primary Gay relationship (for decades). Yet that’s not enough. I just need support to help me move beyond my social fears instead of chosing to be a homebody. If anyone can relate I welcome your input.

[Hidden]

Hey! It's so crazy eye opening that older people suffer in the same way I do! You mentioned being in a relationship. Does your partner know and how do they support you? I just went on summer vacation which is so easy for me to shut myself inside and only connect through snapchat so to combat this I started volunteering at the pediatric hospital! Find a passion and serve. My mom has told me that now that all the kids are almost grown and she's done working that her life feels done but that isn't the case. Research research research. Find activities and sight see! All my best!

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Oliviaw210. Though your reply seems centered more around giving me advice than it is not so much listening to my fear.

Social Anxiety can occur at any age. I’m glad to know you can make progress with your solutions. However, my struggle remains getting over the fear to make human connections. That’s not easy for me.

My partner knows of my struggle. He likes to isolate and is quite content and happy doing his own thing. He’s very supportive if I want to socialize. But I’m on my own with trying to eatablish that.

Best,

MZ

[Hidden in reply to MrZee]

Is there a therapist you can see and maybe that can lead to an in person support group? I completely get what you are saying and I struggle with it every day but I do know anxiety is completely scientific and most scientific things have solutions (some are unknown to us). We can cure anxiety just not in a common way. Anxiety occurs from a trauma or genetic/environmental factor that connects or disables our neurons making them less functional but we can recreate new pathways. Finding groups of people that offer support with the emotional aspect but still enable you to get out of your comfort zone is important. Getting better might require a huge leap of faith and reassurance that you will survive and get better. The only way out is through. I'm sorry if that isn't helpful but I surely do hope you find your personal coping strategies and get better!

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words. It wil take time for me to deal with this. I’m glad I found an online group that can relate.

[Hidden]

Hello and welcome to you!

I struggle with social anxiety too. I wasn’t aware of it in my younger years, maybe it was there, but I did very social jobs attended lots of meetings and talks at conferences, I can’t imagine those things now 😞

I have attended lots of cognitive behavioural therapies, and have done a mindfulness course. I am still in therapy. I’ve never given up trying to make life better. It’s difficult as these things take time, there’s no quick fix as far as I can gather 😊 patience is required and small steps at times...

I love walking and trips away even if just for the day and on good days I achieve these. I do isolate a lot too.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

I’m glad you found us here 🌷

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Olivia40...

You’re telling my story. Though I’m lonely, It is gratifying to know I’m not alone with my condition.

Over the years I too have done the workshops circuit. I’ve been in therapy for (I lost count of) years.

But then there’s my Social Anxiety. Like you, it’s so easy to isolate. I’m glad to connect with others in the Internet world. It would be nice if I had the chatzpuh to do that in the real human contact world.

I appreciate your kind words.

-MZ

[Hidden in reply to MrZee]

Yes I totally understand.

This is a good outlet and it’s good to speak with others in similar situations...

Always happy to chat if needed too.

Best wishes 🌺🌼

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Olivia40. You are most kind. If and when I’m able to get out and socialize in the human world, I hope that I meet people like you that has similar struggles and is a good listener.

Best,

MZ

[Hidden in reply to MrZee]

You will get out there because you wish to and deserve to!

Keep that determination and research your area see what there is that could help, sounds silly but sometimes we aren’t aware what’s on our doorstep..

Best wishes

Look forward to hearing how it’s going !

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Olivia40. Your optimism is encouraging to say the least.

Best,

MZ