Waking up with 5 to 6 strange men in your room, an agoraphobic nightmare

[GreyCatLady]

Dear Reader

I'm an agoraphobic with chronic depression. Recently my husband and I have lost everything. (money, house, car, friends). My husband lost his job a year ago. But now has a new one. We and our 2 cats, are staying at a hotel, until we have enough money to put down deposits on an apartment. Needless to say I'm not very steady right now.

The hotel I am staying at keeps sending people into my room. Only once have they given us notice out of at least 5 times.

They will not allow us to set up an appointed time and date for housekeeping. When they do the housekeeping I am supposed to leave the room. Being homeless and without a car, where an I going to go?

Here is my problem. First, I have to take medication 3 times a day. It makes me very drowsy. Every surprise visit throws my sleep and pill times off. I have to take the pills to sleep. But if I take my pills , and then I am woken up. I can't go back to sleep, unless I take more pills, or just stay awake for the next 8 hour's when I can take the pills again.

So on a moment's notice, I have to get dressed, gather up my valuables, crate up my cats, and leave. One of my cats is scaredy cat. Small fast and impossible to catch. If she gets out, she will Get Lost.

For some reason this is ramping up my anxiety problems. I am afraid if I take my medication as scheduled, I won't be able to wake up. And then there is also the fear that, they will come in anyway, release my cats, and I will lose a loved one.

I will say they always come during the daytime and I am a night owl. But I am alone here and, to wake up with 5 to 6 strange men in your room, out of nowhere, is startling. ( Yes, this has happened.). I can't even lock a door they have pass keys to everything, and have used them. This happens frequently. Each time this happens, it gets harder and harder to control the panic attacks. I spend hours exhausted, crying, with my mind spiraling down in to dread and fear. My husband then has to come home, from work, to a paralyzed wife.

Someone so shaken up she can't even get dressed, make dinner, or get out of bed. I then while uncontrollably shaking and stuttering have to tell him what has happened.

I realize in this day and age. I fit all the warning signs:

1. Refusing room cleaning for extended period of time. I'm concerned of losing a loved one.

2. Taking photos and notes about the hotel. I am forgetful artist with obsessive organization compulsions.

3. Extended use of DND sign. They don't have those here. But I don't want to be disturbed.

4. Guest doesn't leave the room for extended period of time. Agoraphobic.

I know that in this day and age it makes me look like a terrorists. But I'm not. The only person I could do harm to is myself. I feel unsafe, helpless. Each incident makes my panic attacks worse.

I have owned rental property. I understand that they only want to sanitize and maintain, the room. Also to make sure I am not a threat to the other guest.

I just want some peace and quiet to heal and get back on my feet.

So this is the vicious cycle of fear I currently find myself in.

Help, I need advice

Thank for taking me time to read this. I greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely

The Grey Cat Lady

[zevietnameseguy98]

I am so sorry to hear that. Perhaps you can ask them politely to not clean your room anymore and you can just do it by yourself? It's terrifying to wake up to 5 strangers in your room, I would feel so threatened and scared. Best of luck and stay strong.

[jkl5500]

It's very tough being agoraphobic when you don't have your own place. But at least your husband is working now. That's the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually you will have your own place where people won't be barging in on you.

[GreyCatLady in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you for your time, intrest, and kind response.

[fauxartist]

you are paying for the room and do have a right to privacy....have you explained to management and if they don't listen, to their boss...that you have agoraphobia, and a sleep routine and need to stay on a certain routine, and will need to sit in the chair while the room is cleaned because of your condition, and you need your room cleaned late in the day and at the same time. Trust me....if you let them know, or the boss know, or corporate know that a long term paying guest is being bullied by housekeeping...and your room is being entered while your in it without notice, then not only have they broken the law....but they are in a world of hurt with the owners of the business....

[GreyCatLady in reply to fauxartist]

My husband spoke to the manager today. They have moved out cleaning date to Saturdays. They can not guarantee, that I will have no intrusions. The manager will try and give me some notice, but she is not here everyday.

I'm not good with confrontations. So, I think this is the best I can hope for.

Thank you for your time and consideration. It is very appreciated.

[fauxartist in reply to GreyCatLady]

hopefully you will get out of your living situation soon enough that this will be a problem of the past.

[GreyCatLady in reply to fauxartist]

It will at least a month maybe two. It will depend on what is available in the housing market, and of course costs.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

[fauxartist in reply to GreyCatLady]

you know ....I made a sign that said 'no service today please', and it was small enough and I would set it in the window when I knew they would be around. I had to stay in a hotel after I sold my house, I was there for a while when I was dealing with my disease at it's worst and trying to pull my life back together. I couldn't leave the room for very long, I was paralysed with fear and despair for a long time. I had a kitten and my older cat with me, and they saved my life, I'm convinced of that. I did manage to keep the housekeeping people at bay for a few days, and then I just stayed in the room and sat on a chair while they cleaned. They seemed to be understanding after a while and let me be. I hope they will do the same for you. Sometimes it's not being confrontational when we just ask them if it's okay....you could just set a chair right outside the door if it's not. Best wishes to you ....

[GreyCatLady in reply to fauxartist]

I try to be non confrontational. I fact any type of confrontation terrifies me, and freaks me out. I try to remind myself that these guys are just trying to do there job.

I have asked them, but this place is not very organized. I asked 2 housekeepers and 3 "managers". That resulted in a variety of answers. Nothing helpful. Every time they make a promises, it was broken. This leads to one manager blaming the other. The result being, very effective, and they still come in the room.

My husband spoke to a manager yesterday(Saturday). They have moved our cleaning date to Saturdays. They can not guarantee, that I will have no intrusions. The manager will try and give me some notice, but she is not here everyday. I am not feeling very reassured though, the housekeeper showed up this morning (Sunday).

Fortunately my husband is home from work today. He dealt with the housekeeper. I don't know what I would do without him, and my cats. They have been keeping me going. I am extremely fortunate to have them.

Thank you for your time and advice.

[hypercat54]

Why are there 5/6 strange men in your room? Surely you and your husband have your own room and don't have to share it with strangers, especially men? Is it a dormitory or something? x

[GreyCatLady in reply to hypercat54]

We are not sharing a room with anyone.

The strangers were hotel staff. My husband's family, and church, are paying for use to stay at this hotel. They have paid for a month so, we can save up enough money for the deposits on an appartment.

The strangers came in to move furniture. I was not told about this before hand.

Thank you for your time, and interest.

[Hidden]

Hi grey cat lady ... that’s a enough stress for anyone to be dealing with ... shocking them men harassing your privacy like that .... I was thinking perhaps you could see your GP and get him to forward a letter to them, explaining they making your anxiety 10 times worse with their bulling tactics ! .... look after yourself ... you’ve been through a tough time ... thinking of you ... I hope everything settles for you soon and things work out with a new apartment ... I wish you all the luck x

[GreyCatLady in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much for your kind reply. I'm New to this posting thing. You response, and those of others is very reassuring.

I'm a very timid person. Whenever something comes up, or goes wrong. The first person I blame is myself. After all I am the depressed agoraphobic. I often ask myself, am I being crazy or is it them. Usually I determine it has to be me. Followed by profuse apologies, and I'm sorries. I could never forgive myself if I thought I hurt some one. So I always try to error on the side of caution.

Being on this board is helping. The thought that I'm being horribly unreasonable, is slowly being held at bay. It is nice to have a sounding board, to gauge life by.

.

Thank you so much.

[Hidden in reply to GreyCatLady]

You are welcome GreyCatLady, .... I use this posting a lot when I’m scared ... because these people are the only ones that really understand ... it’s not your fault you have nothing to blame your self for ... compassion is what should be shown to you I feel ! it is a condition and a frustrating one at that ! A condition that thousands of people suffer with. Agoraphobia nearly set in with me years ago ... I had a hell of a job to get out ... think i have a little in me now. However, the way society is sometimes it’s not surprising we want to stay safe at home .... hope you have support. In some situations support networks visit the home ... hope so, as you certainly deserve it ... take care x