Murder reality shows making anxiety worse

[JaggedEdge]

My husband watches these and I can barely take it. They make me freak. Do they do this to anyone else?? I have to leave the room and cover my ears so I cannot hear it. None of my headphones are strong enough to keep it all out.

I hate it

[venusofthenorth]

I'm barely capable of watching horror movies. I understand you married the man for a reason, but what an arse.

[Hidden in reply to venusofthenorth]

No he has every right to watch what he enjoys. They have to work together to find a way to block it out for her.

[venusofthenorth in reply to Hidden]

Not at your expense, dearie. Why doesn't he get headphones? Why don't he get friends and keep it as a side hobby? There's no need to have you adjust to shit that scares you, for good reason by the way.

[Hidden in reply to venusofthenorth]

Absolutely he has the right to watch what he wants in his house. If something bothers someone so badly that person is just as able to leave the house during the time that the show is on. Get over yourself honey.

[venusofthenorth in reply to Hidden]

It's not HIS house. It's THEIR house.

[venusofthenorth in reply to Hidden]

Being married and sharing a house together should not be a scary experience. If you didn't notice, this forum is about helping people. The feelings JaggedEdge has on the matter are more than reasonable, valid and perfectly understandable. If you just don't get it the wise decision on your part would've been to shut up.

[Hidden in reply to venusofthenorth]

No marriage is about compromise and working together which means he has just as much right to use his home as she does. They need to find a way to ease her fear while allowing him to live his life as well.

[Hidden in reply to venusofthenorth]

Maybe he is helping by showing another side? Just throwing that out there... If two people CHOSE to get married, depending on how long they were together, they should know each other fairly well. And I don't think you should tell someone they should be shutting up just because what you see to be uplifting is different from their viewpoint. Truth can be uplifting to those willing to hear it.

[kleelibby in reply to Hidden]

Really? She should leave the house? No bueno.

[Hidden in reply to kleelibby]

Well he shouldn't have to leave his house he has every right to watch what entertains him on his tv in his house. Just as much as she has a right to not be freaked out in her house. They need to work together to find a way to coexist together.

[Hidden in reply to kleelibby]

I think, I could be wrong, what he was saying is that they both have just as much right as the other spouse, to get up and go somewhere if something is on, that the other person doesn't want to watch. Ultimately it's their marriage, and have to work these things out amongst themselves. I understand most of the views on here. I want to reiterate that THEY are MARRIED. they know each other well enough that we shouldn't be debating what goes in in their house. I think the poster wanted to vent. As she should be able to. And that we should respect whatever she chooses to do in their home. Husband + wife, not husband + wife + health unlocked community lol

[JaggedEdge in reply to Hidden]

He does have the right to watch what he wants, i just cannot help what it does to me

[Hidden in reply to JaggedEdge]

That's why I said you too need to sit down and work out a way for him to watch them and you don't have to see or hear it.

[kleelibby in reply to JaggedEdge]

You shouldn’t need to defend your rights in your home. Why must you always compromise?

[JaggedEdge in reply to kleelibby]

I'm not sure if I am the "only" one but I also do not know why I always compromise or how you know that?

[JaggedEdge in reply to venusofthenorth]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets freaked out by that stuff. Thank you!

[venusofthenorth in reply to JaggedEdge]

Of course you're not alone, goddammit. The world is a scary place and we tend to forget that a lot of us have very good reasons to have anxiety on occasion.

[JaggedEdge in reply to venusofthenorth]

I appreciate your understanding and support

[venusofthenorth in reply to JaggedEdge]

I may have mentioned I fear things too. It's an entirely reasonable feeling.

[Theloudone in reply to JaggedEdge]

Me too! Also any drug related or crime shows in general. My husband is very respectful of the fact that it gets me hyper anxious and he wouldn’t have it on if I’m in the room.

That being said- I don’t stop him by any means from watching them. We are fortunate enough to have space and multiple tv’s so we don’t need to interfere

Also, our living room had a smart tv and he uses his blue tooth headphones when watching tv at night to not wake the kids (maybe that could be a solution for this) since the headphones on you don’t work.

Nonetheless- you’re not alone in that trigger

[Hidden in reply to Theloudone]

That's what I was trying to say only you stated it better than I did.

[Hidden]

Sorry you're going through this but what are murder reality shows?

[JaggedEdge in reply to Hidden]

The ones that are true and narrated and have people that come on and talk about the murders.

[Hidden in reply to JaggedEdge]

Oh ok yeah I don't like those either, but not for the same reason.

[Hidden]

I'd say he can definitely get a set of headphones from Best Buy or Amazon or somewhere so that you at least don't have to hear it!!! I don't want to hear that stuff either, I don't even like shows like Law and Order or NCIS, it's too much grim reality. And then it gives me tons of anxiety and I don't want to have nightmares from hearing all that.

[Redpepper73]

He should get headphones that plug into the tv or connect wirelessly.

If he isn't concerned about how she feels, that's a big red flag.

[JaggedEdge]

Thank you all for your support

[TailWags]

I cant watch most the national news. It is so inferiating. How dud thibgs come to this?

[JaggedEdge in reply to TailWags]

I dont know. It's sad isn't it?

[Laurennnnnnn]

I’m definitely the weird one here 😂

When I’m anxious or depressed, true crime and murder shows are my go to tv lol. This sounds bad, but when I watch them it reminds me that things could be worse. Yes, I’m anxious but did I join a cult and get murdered today? No, so things are gonna be okay haha

[Theloudone in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

LOL I love that thought process! I wish I could do that too

[Hidden]

I detest those shows too. Sometimes the news stories will also horrify me and leave me feeling shaky for a few hours. While I do enjoy some scary monster movies and mystery novels, I don't like the murder shows or true crime stuff. It makes me sick. I know many people seem to like them but that in itself I find disturbing. Normalizing such incredible human suffering and tragedy by turning it into "entertainment" seems evil to me. My spouse and I have had issues over his constant news and tv watching (I like quiet and could do without tv probably completely) so he has headphones for his shows if I don't want to watch them (and a laptop to view whatever) and also we have compromised on times when the tv just needs to be off period. Both have to be willing to compromise. However, if someone's "entertainment" is prioritized over a partner's well being, then perhaps that is a red flag. If someone had a peanut allergy and their partner insisted on eating nuts all over the house would it be clearer who was being insensitive? I do have anxiety issues related to past traumas and those shows bother me tremendously, therefore, they do not need to be in my environment or in my face in a way that is inescapable. It is called being considerate. Different people have different things that bother them. Occasionally, I will watch something that bothers him for some reason and he will just go upstairs and read until it is over or watch another tv in another room. It isn't a big deal because it isn't a power struggle, we agree we don't understand why the other can't tolerate what we are watching and that is okay. We worked it out because we care how the other person feels. Good luck!

[Want2BHappy3]

I Rarely watch them, my daughter Loves them. She watches them in her room. When my grandsons not around he’s 6 and ask about Murder? So we try’s to Not watch Them when he’s Not around. I will Not watch the ones that involve woman because I have 3 daughters or the ones that are Not solved, who wants to watch a story with No ending? Don’t know what to say about your situation, but have you tried headphones for him?

[kleelibby]

I hear you loud and clear. I cannot bear to watch/listen to the fishing shows they are brutal. The glee the crew shows when they spear a fish makes me sick. The murder shows are worse I feel for you. It seems to me that maybe he could use ear phones so you don’t have to be affected at all.

[JaggedEdge]

Me too! Laughter is the best

[paulbull]

I hate those shows. I can’t watch them.

[Relly26]

I be feeling afraid to watch those too. It's a good thing you brought that up.