i wish i was dead tbh

[ashtonbeavers]

i can’t take this anymore. i’m always depressed, my pills make me more mad and depressed, and even when i change for everyone, they still hate it. all i do is get yelled at by my mother and my sister has changed so much she doesn’t talk to me. i lost my bestfriend almost 7 years ago and now i don’t even have friends. no one likes me and i just don’t want to live anymore. all i do is cut, sleep, isolate myself, and starve myself. and it’s storming outside which makes my anxiety attacks 1000 times worse. i’m so done with being here

[zevietnameseguy98]

I am so sorry. Please don't give up just yet. Find a suicide hotline and give them a call or go to an ER and tell them about your situation. This life is worth living and tough times will go away. Stay strong friend.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to zevietnameseguy98]

thanks

[Hidden]

Hey there Ashton, I am so sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. Teenage years are a time when you want to be loved & protected. You are learning so much about yourself & you need your family to understand you. I know what that’s like, I get it. What I can promise you is this, it gets better. Soon enough... you won’t be living at home. You can go to college. Experience life. Everything can change. You can be whatever you want to be. You can do whatever you want to do. Whatever you dream possible. Don’t give up on this life, girlie. You have a purpose. I firmly believe that you can make it. Please keep fighting. If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. I am here. I was a teenage girl once myself, ya know? I hope you hold on, honey. I promise that things can change. Please stay strong. xo

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Hidden]

thankyou so much!❤️

[hunter4ransom]

You have to be true to you. Don’t change for others. As silly as it sounds, you have to learn to love yourself first. That means accepting that depression is a piece of you, but you are so much more than your depression. I know in the depths of despair it’s hard to find your way back to anything that represents comfort, stability, security, and calm. Please know it exists.

You mentioned you were young in your profile. It is super hard finding meds that work when you are in your teen years. Your body is still growing and changing and hormones do play a part with some meds. Also, there are meds that help adults but not recommended for teens. I know this from experience with my son who is now 18.

Please don’t give up hope. Depression sucks!! There is help and hope even if it takes time getting there. Please know you aren’t alone and we care about you and your well being here.

Keep posting. Let it all out. It’s safe here. I’m here for you.

(((Hugs))) Eileen

[ashtonbeavers in reply to hunter4ransom]

thankyou!

[Eggsandbacon]

Moments like this, I would think of all the reasons NOT to do it. I know is hard to see the bright side when it feel like it’s all pointing to the dark. So think of the song that cheers you up, think of the meal you like or wish to try, give yourself a reason to look forward something that is for YOU!

Because at the end of the day YOU matter! You are a caring loving human being! You can find love in a pet. You can give love to an elder. You can mentor a child. You can even talk to someone who might feel in the same place you feel right now and give them the hope they need NOT to do it.

Steer away from anything or scenario that you think could harm you and give yourself some time to clear your mind. Play music really loud to block out the rain noise, or binge watch a show. I know it won’t fix the bigger picture, but might buy you time for you to see how valuable you are in this world, and all the good you can do.

Also like suggested below call the suicide hotline, those people are the best! Sometimes talking things out loud can help relieve the stress build up inside that can’t be understood by those close to us.

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Eggsandbacon]

thankyou so much! but i don’t want to go back to rehab so i don’t want to call them

[Eggsandbacon in reply to ashtonbeavers]

Just know that YOU are meaningful to someone. You might not have meet them yet, but you shouldn’t deprive them of the pleasure of getting to know you!

[ashtonbeavers in reply to Eggsandbacon]

thankyou so much!!❤️❤️

[dee_bells]

Life is so hard and I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I isolate myself for 23 hours every day. I’m lucky I see my cat. 😉.

As cheesy as this sounds you are here for a reason.

Believe in yourself!! I believe in you !! 😁😁

[ashtonbeavers in reply to dee_bells]

thankyou

[dee_bells]

Hi, as I read your messages; I don’t want to depress you but I’m struggling with wanting to live. I’m positive you are a lot younger than I. I like helping other people if I can and just messaging you makes me feel better. And again I don’t know your age but I’m sure you have your whole future a head of you.

I was an idiot at 18 and was raiding my mothers pill bottles every month and one night I took the pills with beer and laid down. Who would have thought that blood pressure meds wouldn’t kill me. But I felt really sick so I went to the ER and had my stomach pumped and was held in the psych place for 72 hours.

I was so dumb. I knew so much happiness in the years after that. Sure there are ups and downs but I got through the rough times. Oddly, my boyfriend tried to kill me but he was shot and killed by the police and i was driving my car and got hit by a semi truck. That almost killed me. It’s just not my time and it’s not your time either.

You and I are on this support group, reaching out and talking with people who understand what we’re feeling.

You’ve got this! You can do it! Hey, if I can do it you can too. You’re meant to be here. We’re learning these life lessons for a reason.

I am here on this group to share what I’ve learned. If you need to reach out and call the suicide prevention line, do it. Are you seeing a therapist or are you on medications? Here is the number if you need to speak to someone. Think of a happy place. Mine is the beach. You will be fine. tel:[phone]

[ashtonbeavers in reply to dee_bells]

thankyou so much for sharing that with me. i know that must be hard to tell people but i’ve been through something like that myself. this guy used to touch me inappropriately for almost five years but i was to young to understand it. last year he tried to kill me but driving into a four wheeler my cousin and i were driving. he messed up my right leg pretty horribly. it’s still hard to walk on half of the time. he always comes up to my house but i never told my parents about anything because i know they won’t care. but if you ever need to talk to anyone, i’m here for you !

[dee_bells in reply to ashtonbeavers]

You’re so kind! I sent you a message. You have a good heart and soul. I want the best for you!!

[crowningglory19]

I'm so sorry! Please eat something, starving just brings on the anxiety even more. The tough times do go away and good times again, so please hold on. Don't be near those who bring you down any more than you need to. Have you thought of volunteering? It helps a lot, you and others. Also, taking magnesium and ginseng help get rid of anxiety and depression. They calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts. Go out side, look at the stars, lay on grass, to get a fresh look at life. The faithfulness every year of growth and changes, yet the same. It helps us remember. You are strong, you can make it thru to the other side of depression. <3

[ashtonbeavers in reply to crowningglory19]

thankyou so much!!!❤️❤️

[Benny3221]

I feel you...the same boring routine gets really old and fast. Now if I didn’t have all these mental disorders I’d probably be able to accept my current situation much more easily, but......since I do suffer from these terrible diseases those boring routines suck even more.