Taking things personally

[perkofawallflower]

After reading people comments on my other post, I have come to realize that I tend to take things personally. Even if someone is trying to be helpful or provide positive criticism, I feel that the person is attacking me as a person. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I looked up ways to deal with it and I realize I try to think what the persons intentions are instead of seeking clarification. Even when they do provide clarification, my mind automatically goes to they’re lying and not being truthful. Why does the brain play tricks on me like that? I am assuming it’s from past emotional abuse. I know I need to work on my self esteem so I don’t take things so personally. I really like the quote “stop allowing your own insecurities color the way you interpret someone else’s intentions.” Looks like I have some work to do on not taking things personally. I am realizing this weekend I let my insecurities get the best of me and I misinterpreted a situation 😞

[Hidden]

To me perko, realizing it means that you’re halfway there! You’re right in that working on your self-esteem will help a lot. Blocking negativity will also help. Stay positive when evaluating other people’s words, actions and motives. Now that you accept this truth about yourself, you can fight against it! Wishing you the best!! 🌷🌞🌷

[perkofawallflower in reply to Hidden]

My brain tends to go straight to the negative. Through emotional abuse I started believing I was unworthy and worthless. Time to start seeing that I am worth so much more. Hearing criticism takes me back to those moments of emotional abuse even though it was 10 years ago. I tend to interpret when my boyfriend doesn’t say or do something like I would, as a sign that he doesn’t love or care for me. Which seems very unrealistic now that I look at it like that. I need to look at the bigger picture and understand there’s a lot more going on in a persons life and not everything he says or does is a slight against me.

[Hidden in reply to perkofawallflower]

I too, endured emotional and physical abuse in childhood and I can totally empathize with you! Negative self-talk has always been an issue for me too, but you’re on track to living a much more peaceful life. Live and let live! Know in your heart that you’re worthy, capable, and smart. All the negative things we were told about ourselves are nothing but sour lies and they need to die. Wishing you the best on your journey!!

[perkofawallflower in reply to Hidden]

Aww thank you so much for the kind words and support

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

emotional abandonment, physical abuse, childhood abuse during our formative years as kids leaves deep scars that are invisible to everyone but we feel them everyday. When the caregivers who were supposed to love us and protect us betray and abuse us....We have trust issues, and insecurities in our relationships until we get help. We hold onto bad relationships longer than others would because our fears run so deeply. We make a lot of bad decisions in life and do a lot of things to ourselves to try and not feel that deep seated pain. And if you have anxiety and depression to begin with, as it is chemical, and in the brain....to try and feel normal and happy in life like we think we are supposed to, can be challenging and some days near impossible.

[Hidden]

You are only human with human tendencies. I think most people who post feel that way to a certain degree. It’s human nature.

[fauxartist]

I think sometimes when we want things to work out a certain way, and others may see things we don't want to see, or we do see and don't want to really take them on board, it's normal to kind of bolt and feel defensive a bit....sometimes I read a comment and think its being a little critical...but really....when I re-read it....it's not. It's just some honest advice from someone trying to be helpful. We can appreciate what they are saying, but don't have to agree with it, or it may not be relevant to what your actually trying to get answers for.Or maybe your just wanting to vent and not necessarily looking for any advice on a situation your dealing with. It is true that rarely sometimes people can just be argumentative...and they are for sure not someone to engage with....but I read your last post, I don't think anyone was saying anything really that you didn't already know, and I can understand how your feeling....it is upsetting to see your partner being manipulated....but as I commented to you....we have to be willing to let them come to their own conclusions about how they are going to handle things....because as much as we may see a situation clearly, they may not want to...and there's nothing we can do to change that. We can only change how we choose to deal with our own emotions around it. Find a way to let go....or it will tear you apart inside....

I can tell you from my past 7 years experience with what your dealing with now....it does not change....only I have changed how I am handling it...and it's always a thorn in my side when I see the 30yr old adult child manipulate everyone around them....and I see it happening clearly...and can say nothing about it without resentments building between my partner and I.

[BW33]

Ur beautiful with a good heart n soul!💗

[perkofawallflower in reply to BW33]

Thank you so much