A friend wrote this from one of her fav authors wonder what you think of it -

[Starrlight]

“People’s behavior is how they feel about themselves”

And went onto say ....So don’t take things personally....even said irmts being selfish to take it personally :...,

hmmmm

What do you think?

[Starrlight]

Awesome LunaSkye I agree

[Starrlight]

Good to stick up for yourself!!!! I’m ready to confront my sister about something she did to my son that he just told me about today. I’m so angry and I think I’ll write to her because I want her to take responsibility and whenever I talk to her face to face it doesn’t go well. She distracts me from what I want to say tries to twist words abd but in and is disrespectful... so on so forth She will probably never say sorry never has never will she is like my dad. Maybe narcissistic. Anyway thanks I am standing up for my son today.

[Dolphin14]

When people hurt us they hurt us. " it's about them" I understand it in my intellectual mind. My emotional part feels different. We are sensitive, who wants to be hurt for whatever reason. It just doesn't feel good 😢

❤️🐬

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes you are right thanks for saying that Dolphin 🐬 I feel if someone hurts me it sucks but when someone hurts my kids it sucks double and I can’t even think straight yet when I think of it I need to calm down to think clearly but I’m still in hurt sad anger mode

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

Decided to write,.... pming you

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

Oh I tell you no one would get away with hurting my 🐬🐬.They would get an ear full and a half

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Oh yes they wouldnt im sure! 😌 I did some giving to the ear myself but she was acting ridiculous so immature she just couldn’t get it or decided she didn’t want to get it and tymurned it in us attacking her and she is perfect. I’m through trying with her. I do hope the cousins still see each other. There’s a party this Sunday. She was invited before all of it went down.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

Well we know what she did was wrong. She chooses not to acknowledge that.I bet she will show up for the party and pretend nothing is wrong.

I guess I would just let your son know you spoke up for him. So he knows his voice means something.

❤️🐬

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Oh yeah my son knows about all of it. He knows I talked to her about her wrong and that she’s being a little jerky who lies and that he did a good job telling me and that I want nothing to do with her until she apologizes. At the party there are plenty of other people to talk with. I mean if she says hi I’ll say hi I’m not ignoring her as a game to hurt her but I just simply don’t feel like being around her at all so if she shows up I hope not to converse with her at all. How hard though right!? If she starts talking about the stuff we already spoke of I don’t want to go through it again there is nothing left to say except an apology to my son. It’s all on her.

[Mrspjsmom]

I may be reading this wrong or just in a mood but I disagree. I think it excuses the behavior of hurting someone else and puts the responsibility on them. If you hurt someone's feelings take responsibility and own it. Then apologize.

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

What excuses the behavior? Not taking things personally right? Hmmm I think fir example must sister really fucked up and I went off on her so she would tske responsibility but what she did I’m trying to not let that make me personally feel bad like she did this to me but instead letting the hurt go free like wellLet her deal with those emotions it’s not fair for me to feel bad I did nothing wrong.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

It's not fair for you to feel bad if your sister did something. I don't speak to my sister after many years of bs and abuse from her. But I think in the statement don't take it personally excuses hurtful behavior. I think that's where I get hung up.

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Sorry about your sister. Sucks and maybe this will happen to me too. Ugh waiting to see what she says is hard

Hmmm I do get what you are saying. Like in not confronting it they get away with it like as if it’s ok. I am confronting her but at the same time I’m not going to take of her behavior personally like oh man it’s hard to explain... 🤣 my friend my brain is scrambled now ha! Hmmm not going to allow her bad wishes on me to affect me

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

I get it. My brain is pretty scrambled this morning. It took a VERY long time for me to get to the point where I don't speak to her. My husband and children still do. But I'm done being verbally and at times physically abused by her. And it was always me who was wrong never her.

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

I hear ya!!! Did she of does she treat others badly like she treated you? Sometimes people choose all sometimes they pick out the ‘luckyones’ to prey on. So sad and makes me so angry.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight]

She hasn't always treated my brother so great either. But I got the worst. As for other people I couldn't tell you. I started putting up walls years ago before finally cutting off contact. She doesn't let most people close enough to see who she really is and passes off alot of her nasty comments as sarcasm.

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Do my sis luckily did not show up to the party - said she had to worry about her mental health. Yeah ... Im glad I have a therapy appointment today. Could use it. So sorry about your sis that sucks ... pm me any time we are in the same boat.

[Kittykat55]

Starlight,

I like this quote, and there is a lot of truth to it! I know that when I am feeling more anxious or depressed, I direct it all inwards. I tend to isolate, which is unhealthy. However, the people I am around- like at work- can probably pick up on it.

[Starrlight in reply to Kittykat55]

But if they do pick up on it it’s ok we all have bad days some of us way more than others but so what I’m isolating right not fit the exception of the lovely people here. Just make sure you have some place some person to release everything to so you don’t bottle it up. My brother bottled it up inside abd the bam. One day he killed himself. Was gone with those things in his mind that must have seemed so huge but if he were to have talked to some trursted person it could have changed everything. Well I’m really sorry you are struggling. Can you start therapy?

[gerrerd]

Yes people's opinions belong to them not you. The only thing you have control over is how you react.

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

Yes! Awesome reminder thanks 🙏 😌 people’s lies are also their lies if they want to believe them bye bye go on snd lie on your own. How I am going to react to my sis is to not react I’m done! I’ll be kind when she apologizes and means it. Otherwise keeping my distance .... thanks for listening... I have a drama going on I can’t stop thinking of