Right thing: I don't know if I am still... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Right thing

WhiteShark profile image
17 Replies

I don't know if I am still doing the right thing. Confiding with strangers, seeking for help.

It feels like I'm doing my partner wrong by telling people about our situation, but I would like to at least give people some idea about the root cause of all my negative thoughts. I think it would help me get the necessary advice and suggestions as to what I can do to improve my situation. Yet I still wonder, am I doing the right thing?

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WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark
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17 Replies

Look at it from another angle,

If you weren't doing this would your anxiety feel worse or better?

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to

I don't even know how to evaluate the situation now. I think if he finds out about this account, he may end up getting hurt and even if I'm not happy about our situation, I don't want him to feel that way.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970

Are you sharing with professionals? If so, it is a great idea to get perspective. If not, then I would be hesitant to share. You cannot trust that the person you are speaking to knows healthy advice to give.

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to AZ1970

I am only able to vent out here. I know I should seek professional advice, but I don't know why I am reluctant to do so. I don't want to be indifferent.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to WhiteShark

Vent away here. All you need to. That is why we joined this group.

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to AZ1970

But would you say that I am being unfair to my partner? I did try to talk to him at one point but I ended up in a bad mood and I even hit him at one point. I don't know what I'm looking for or what I should expect in our relationship, but there's this feeling of emptiness. This started even before I gave birth. It's like, I just gave up on us. I can't properly construct my thoughts about it.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to WhiteShark

You need a safe place to sort your feelings out. It sounds as if you are unsure about your relationship. When we ignore those feelings in our gut, they come out as anger, depression and anxiety. It sounds like you are not able to speak with him about your concerns. Doing it here is better than taking it out on him. I hope that helps.

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to AZ1970

I just keep going back to that time that he talked to his ex. The time he told her that I was pregnant. The look on his face. The care he showed for her. I still have the feeling of guilt for being pregnant. It was too early in our relationship. He just didn't inform her that we were dating after they broke up, which is why she ended up surprised when she called him. I don't think I can phrase my emotions about that moment well enough. Until this very moment, I still feel the same emotions. And it's killing me

in reply to WhiteShark

Hello WhiteShark...I’m Susan...so you feel like he’s still in love with his ex?

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to

Yes. That's exactly what I feel at this point. Sometimes I even feel sorry for our son because I'm his mother. I think if he would have been their son, then he would have a more love filled family. I don't know. It's just how I feel and I am so scared to ask him.

in reply to WhiteShark

Wow...I don’t know what to say...hopefully when you feel like getting some answers, you will ask him. You deserve to be loved. I hope things work out as they should. Please don’t count yourself out as a mother. He is your son for a reason. Try to think positively. I’m thinking about you...

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to

Thank you for taking the time to read through my posts and for responding, GratitudeFirst.

I don't think I will ever have the courage to ask him. So far, all that comes out of his mouth sound like lies.

I know that I'm my son's mother for a reason, but whenever I see him I can't help but think that it would have been better if he was their son. I love him so much that I think he deserves so much more.

I believe I have ruined what could have been a happy and loving family for both of them.

I'm still trying to dig deeper to where these thoughts are coming from, but I can't seem to move further. I am stuck to these rootless thoughts for now. I feel fated to find this site. You guys have been of help in lessening the stress that I was feeling before.

in reply to WhiteShark

I just don’t think he would be better off as “their” son, but I understand what you’re thinking. Believe that he’s better off with you...you’re his mother! It takes 2 to ruin a marriage. He is obviously partly to blame. Don’t absorb all the guilt. I hope a resolution is in the very near future! 🌞

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to

I really don't know why I'm thinking this way. But just like you, I too am hoping that we/I can get out of this situation. I may not be able to escape it, but I hope I can at least adapt to it for our own good.

This forum has only helped me, so I can assume that it will help you as well. Sometimes getting our feelings out there is very helpful. Wishing you the best!

Krazie profile image
Krazie

WhiteShark, One and maybe the main thing I like about this website is that it is anonymous. I feel safe in disclosing my deepest thoughts, because nobody knows my real name, and can't spread around that which I don't want known. No body can gossip, or make me feel bad for the way I feel or think. I have noticed a lot of kind, caring people have found their way here

In addition, talking about what is really on my mind, helps me to relax, and find better solutions.

I hope that you can tell us more about what is going on in your life. I think you will find it helpful to you and your situation. Maybe you could start out with just small things and see how you feel. See how others respond. It might help you to feel more comfortable.

What ever you decide, I believe you will find support.

Best wishes!

WhiteShark profile image
WhiteShark in reply to Krazie

thank you, Krazie. AZ1970 is currently helping me a lot. You're right, being anonymous in this page gives me the courage to share the thoughts that are running on my mind. I also feel confident that people here are experienced enough to help me get through my struggles one step at a time.

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