Hi everyone. Recently, I have been more depressed than usual and had many bad thoughts (ie. when i heard about a shooting, i wished i took the place of one of the victims so someone's life could be spared and i can leave all this pain).
Now, it's gotten to the point where I feel like I need to control my thoughts VERY hard to keep sad thoughts out of my mind or I could break down crying at any point. For example, I had a study group today and I tried very hard to ONLY focus on the study material, but my thoughts went to a past memory of my boyfriend cheating on me, and I teared up and had to rush to the washroom.
I feel so embarrassed and it's so difficult to get through every day. Please give me advice on what to do.