I feel like crying all the time - Anxiety and Depre...

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I feel like crying all the time

littleorange8
littleorange8

Hi everyone. Recently, I have been more depressed than usual and had many bad thoughts (ie. when i heard about a shooting, i wished i took the place of one of the victims so someone's life could be spared and i can leave all this pain).

Now, it's gotten to the point where I feel like I need to control my thoughts VERY hard to keep sad thoughts out of my mind or I could break down crying at any point. For example, I had a study group today and I tried very hard to ONLY focus on the study material, but my thoughts went to a past memory of my boyfriend cheating on me, and I teared up and had to rush to the washroom.

I feel so embarrassed and it's so difficult to get through every day. Please give me advice on what to do.

6 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

Hello! How long have you been experiencing these negative thoughts? I often have horrific thoughts too that will put me into a place that causes me to shut people out and cry and wish so hard to have a different life. It became too much for me to handle and my doctor decided to put me on Sertraline. I’ve been on it for a month now and I do see that it’s helping me.

littleorange8
littleorange8
in reply to Hidden

i've been having it for a month now.

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to littleorange8

Is there anyone you turn to for help? Like even just someone to listen to your feelings? I don’t know if it’s the person I am but I have to get my feelings out. If I hold them in things just get soooo much worse.

I really hope Little Orange that you’re gonna leave every single thing that makes you sad. You deserve better. And there is way too much that makes you suffer !!

Please do not say you wished to take the place of a shooting victim. Imagine the families and friends of these people and the suffering they endure. Have you seen your doctor? Also, perhaps you could look up a group like NAMI or Recovery learning. Sometimes negative thoughts do take place- it's part of life. Be kind to yourself. You were in a study group- so it sounds like you have goals for yourself. Also, try doing something that you enjoy like breathing in the fresh air, or looking at nature. Do you have family/friends to support you?

Little Orange, You are not alone. Depression can be so debilitating. The thoughts that race through our heads can literally kill us. Staying "focused" is such a difficult task when you get a negative thought spinning around. Perhaps calling someone you trust. Telling them that you just need to get it off your chest. There are times that I don't like myself therefore I don't want to tell anyone my struggles, but isolation leads to more depression and anxiety. I am struggling now with turning to alcohol for the numbing affect. I know it's not the answer but I don't have good coping skills. I need to work on that with a therapist. Hang in there. Speak up. Look for a meeting through DBSA. They are open and welcoming. It helps to know you are not alone.

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