Insecurities

[perkofawallflower]

Insecurity and my anxiety go hand in hand. I need to let go of the past and stop making my current boyfriend pay for the actions of my past boyfriends. I am working on letting my guard down and trusting him completely with my heart. When he’s quiet or doesn’t do something the way I would I question him and I know it’s not fair. I should trust him when he says he loves me.

[Juliagail]

It’s okay that you are more insecure then the average as probably all of us here are, we are who we are and we have anxiety disorders. My advice is to be completely open and tell him when you are feeling it, every time. They need to choose to love you the way you are. Its something we need to demand of ourselves in every relationship but especially romantic ones and if our needs aren’t being met we need to distance ourselves from those people, at least that’s what I’ve found.

If it’s a new relationship I’d imagine some of those insecurities will fall away sooner rather then later.

Best to you!

[perkofawallflower in reply to Juliagail]

Aww thank you so much for this reply. Him and I talk all the time when I am feeling insecure. He provides me with slot of reassurance. He tells me, I love you regardless of your insecurities. He said I just know it’s apart of who you are and I accept that. He knows it’s me being me and he said he loves me regardless. He said I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t doin it.

[Juliagail in reply to perkofawallflower]

Damn, he is a keeper! 😊

[perkofawallflower in reply to Juliagail]

Lol yes he is lol he is always like sorry babe you’re stuck with me and I am like no you’re stuck with me.

[JoniJ]

It may be hard to let get over the past, if you have not resolved the feelings that you have about the past and you have carried them into the present. I trust that when your boyfriends says that he loves you, he is also backing those words up with actions that communicate the same thing. If there is a discrepancy, it would be very difficult to trust those words. Have you explored with him, what love looks like to you versus how it looks to him to see if you guys are on the same page? Perhaps you can continue to have meaningful conversations to get to know each other in even more meaningful ways and on a deeper level. You certainly want someone who can come along side of you emotionally, but you also need to work on bringing your best self to the relationship. Couples or individual therapy may be something that you may want to consider.

[perkofawallflower in reply to JoniJ]

He definitely shows me that he loves me. I feel it’s my mind playing tricks on me. That’s a good thing that you brought up what loves means to me and what love means to him. I will talk with him about it. He is great in the fact that he is so patient with me and he listens to me and supports me. I realize that I need to work on myself like you said I need to bring my best self to the relationship which currently I am not which no one can be perfect all the time. Which I am currently trying to set up an appointment to see a therapist. My sister has one but I can’t see her because she does but her therapist said she will give her some contact numbers of some other good ones who also work in her practice that are accepting new patients.

[JoniJ in reply to perkofawallflower]

That sounds great!