Suicide Struggles: Where do I begin... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Suicide Struggles

speaknothing
speaknothing

Where do I begin... majority of my life I’ve struggled with depression,anxiety and suicidal thoughts. My first suicide attempt I was in the maybe 2nd or 3rd grade I was obsessed with trying to jump out of a fast moving car into traffic. I almost succeeded until I was quickly pulled back into the car. This year 2018 my suicide attempts have increased. If you asked me why I couldn’t give you an answer. My life isn’t horrible but I know it could be better. Everyone goes through things in life and I’m one out of the bunch whose been through too much. I know suicide is not the answer and I don’t want to die but I want the pain to stop. I want the thoughts to stop I want the depression to stop I want the panic attacks to stop and the mental break downs I want my insecurities to go away . No amount of pills or therapy will make it all go away. Trust me I’ve done both for years. They only teach you on how to cope with it all better. So what do I do? Feel trapped for the rest of my life.

4 Replies
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I completely understand , I don't know what to say to help a significant amount, but I know being understood helps and I want you to know that understand how you feel perfectly.

Hidden
Hidden

I’m so sorry, I hear your pain and despair. Do you feel your life has a purpose, something you are suppose to do?

I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I have no more energy or willpower to keep living. I've been in therapy for months and It has done nothing to help me. I'm so tired of living this way. But we have to find a way to keep going. I don't know what the purpose of life is, but I know that we are supposed to be alive. We don't really want to kill ourselves, we just want the pain to go away. Remember that.

I am so sorry you are struggling. Depression is a horrible disease to deal with. I am so glad you reach out on this forum. Everyone here understands your struggles and is here to love, support, encourage and care. Know you are not alone; people here care.

I am glad you know suicide is not the answer. Your life is precious, though the pain of depression makes it hard to feel that way. I am glad you have tried therapy and medication, however, it doesn't sound like you found the one that works for you.

It took me years to find the right counselor and medication. Once I did, I felt better over time. However, until we really found out what my triggers are, how to control my negative thoughts, and the root cause of my depression I still struggled. A few years ago, a therapist helped me learn to become a stronger person and that I do have control of my life, but I needed to make the effort to do that. Depression doesn't have to control your life, but you do need to find the right help. Here is some groups that might be helpful to getting the counseling and medication that will be right for you. bit.ly/2mFxWoz I will be praying for you and please continue to reach out on this forum. We are here for you. Hugs!

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