I don’t know if I’ve ever said this.. but I am a ‘survivor’ (barely) of child abuse .
I feel like ever since I told people about it (about 10 yrs ago) I’m being pushed out of the family slowly but surely.
I feel like the abuser gets treated so much better than me. Certain family members have ‘disowned’ me but the abuser is fine, chilling living a great life, popular as ever and it drives me mad 😢. My family never told the police... I was scared into not telling teachers and doctors... it’s my biggest regret. I relied on my family to support me and get me justice but they didn’t. Now I’m being treated like a criminal and I don’t understand why. I feel so sad and left out . Every party etc I’m not even aware of because (I’m guessing ) it’s awkward for me to be there ...
I give up . I wish we can move away to another city . This is wearing me out every single day.
You know family members talk to me about the abuser like nothing happened e.g/ “omggg today ? Dropped the milk it was soooo funnny “
I be sat there thinking... “don’t you remember? Am I on the right f******* planet here?”
Everyone gets mad at me for getting upset about the abusers whole family....
I feel like I’m losing my mind 😢 wth is going on?
If similar things happen to others... e.g this #me2 movement... they’ll be disgusted about it and be so happy they get caught etc.....
which honestly I don’t understand 😢 am I in some parallel universe?!
This is why I think I am quite an irritable person... I think I’m always angry inside and it will never leave. Therapy etc won’t help because I will never get justice!
Why do I still crave for these people to love me , care about me , invite me ?
Because I’m weak that’s why! And I hate myself for this!
Ps sorry for any grammatical errors I’m absolutely fuming and crying 🤷🏻♀️