I’m new in this group, and the reason why I’m here is my 24 years old son. He isn’t been diagnosed but I think he is under a big depression and anxiety since very long time ago. He couldn’t finish university and now is back home, alone, no friends, not going out, doing nothing. He is vegan, very worry about his food and doing some exercise which I think is helping in his situation but it’s so sad and frustrating to see him suffering, living like this. It’s like he doesn’t belong to this world. He is not taking any meds, he refuses and only take some herbal supplements. Before we tried with some meds but didn’t work so now he doesn’t want to take any or to see any doctor but his situation is not improving. I don’t know what to do !! I’m desperate !!
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Your a good mom looking out for your son. and it's heartbreaking to think he is suffering and there's really nothing you can do to help. But by being supportive and caring, is more supportive than you may know. I've also learned from a doctor friend of mine about B-Complex and multi-minerals. CBT oil, and there are a number of other naturals out there that have shown to somewhat help. And any good help is better than none. I don't think many understand that when taking SSRI's...it's still not going to completely resolve the symptoms of anxiety and depression...for that you need maintenance....either in the form of therapy, or group, and also exorcise and diet can certainly help. Drinking and drugs will make it worse. Hang in there....and ask any questions you want to so you too can have a better understanding of this disease....but remember mom...it's not yours' or his fault, it's chemical....and you can be depressed without a reason, it's just the disease.
I think I can understand you son a lot. I, too, and 24 (female). I did finish school, but now I regret my career choice and don't know what to do with my life.
My mom tried giving stress pills from over the counter - I stopped taking them. I don't think they help. I've been dealing with this since 5th grade, and I didn't get help until recently (last month). What helps me is talking to someone. Not all guys are the same. Some will talk. Some won't.
I wouldn't push him to go see a doctor. Instead, tell him if he wants to talk to someone, and isn't ready to talk to you yet (because he, maybe, feels like he is hurting you if he tells you how he feels), tell him you will help him find a doctor who does behavioral methods to help with depression and anxiety - no medications.
I go to a doctor who uses behavioral methods, and it's slowly working. Of course, it doesn't always work. (I did just started a month ago). But my doctor isn't helping me, BUT WORKING WITH ME, to help myself. It is about learning to help myself and be independent as I get better. I learn to lean on her, my doctor, but not depend on her.
I hope this helps. If he does need to talk to someone, I hope I can be an ear he can borrow. And if you have more questions, I hope I can give you some perspective in what we go through.
Thank you so much!! I really would like to take him to a psychologist in behavioral therapy but we live in Qatar, in the Middle East and is very difficult to get professional help here. And he doesn’t want to do anything, he is in denial, he thinks that nobody can help him, but still I’m trying to get him help. I want him to join this group so that he will know that he is not the only one suffering with this disease.
Yeah! I highly recommend going here then. I think having him sign up here is the best option. Many of us have gone through it, and we still are. Like this morning, I woke up 4 times because my anxiety woke me up, and I only slept 4 hours because my depression kept me up. He is not alone.
I would continue to go on this page and ask for people's opinion. Don't push him to join. Just show him the website, find a post that you feel relates to him and show him. And then leave him with he computer to read it on his own. Don't be next to him while he goes through the forum. We don't like showing our vulnerability to our love ones because we want to be strong for you, well that's my thoughts.
I have a sister who has some anxiety (pretty minor), but she is averse to any kind of therapy or medicinal help because she had a couple bad experiences. I think maybe he needs to hear about some people's positive experiences with medicine and/or therapy (maybe a friend, family member, or a story you've heard on this site). Additionally, I would work as hard as you can to find a well-respected therapist in the area (PhD level is better in my personal experience because they have more experience and can get deeper) by asking around - word of mouth works better than searching online. If you are able to find a great therapist, and then convince him that its just a little step to go see someone, remind him "what's the worst that can happen" and that he owes it to himself (any maybe you if you think that would help), having a great initial experience is crucial.
Additionally, getting him involved in any community (vegan community, regular yoga class, art class, vegan cooking class, anything at all) could really help pull him out of his own head and give him potential for relationships.
Keep hanging in there, and thank you so much for being a parent that understands mental health.
Thanks for your understanding, I’m desperate because he is not willing to do anything, he is just like a ghost in the house, he goes out only with us, sometimes, but he prefers to be at home, doing nothing or watching movies. Now he is overeating, he doesn’t want to accept it but he is gaining weight and he says no, I’m not! His clothes doesn’t fit anymore but he said that is not true, that we are bullying him. He is tired all the time, sleepy, he says that he can’t sleep at night, he goes to bed really late, like around 01:00 or later and of course with the phone I have no idea at what time he fall asleep and wake up very late, sometimes he does exercise in the tread mill because he doesn’t want to go to the gym. He is obsessed with the food, and all his remedies. The other situation is that we are living in Qatar, in the Middle East and is very difficult to get profesional help here. He was passionate about film but couldn’t finish university and now he is only watching movies but not doing anything about his career. When I ask him what he wants to do or to go he says “I don’t know “ he doesn’t want to drive. He went out with a girl a week ago but he didn’t invite her again, he said that he doesn’t feel anything....
I'm so sorry your family are having this difficulty , it's painful and frustrating. You are a good mum and I would encourage to keep trying to encourage him whatever way you can . Keep the lines of communication open, you could see if he responds to anyone else talking to him like another family member. Keep telling him you love and care about him and would like to help him deal with his emotions if he will let you. It can be hard to break out of depression but keep trying, I'm sure he doesn't want to live this way either. My best wishes to you X
Hi. I can relate to your son quite a bit. I'm not much older than him and I live at home, no friends, don't really go out, couldn't make progress in college. Does your son have any interests? If he likes exercise and puts all his effort into what he is doing, then it will make it a lot easier for him to sleep at night. Medications might be worth looking into with a doctor, particularly SSRIs. But what's more important is to develop good habits to see and maintain progress for the long term.
No he is not interested in anything other than the food, he worries about what he is eating and is overeating but he doesn’t want to accept it... he is very slow, for example he takes a very long time in the shower, more than one hour and all day is going around without doing anything, just seating here and there reading something in his phone, I think internet is a big issue in this situation. He said he can’t control the time he takes in the shower, because I said to him let’s try to do it faster but he says no, I can’t .... and so many things he takes very long time to do simple things. I have no idea if this is related to his depression or why?? I don’t understand... please somebody tell me about it.
Yeah you know what your describing sounds like a form of psychomotor retardation caused by depression. It involves a slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movements and can affect normal daily activities such as taking a shower. I remember spending a lot of time in the shower too just standing in there and feeling the water cascade down onto my skin. If your son started slowing down only during episodes of depression, then it is only temporary and can even be treated with antidepressants. Or even without medication, if he can feel more in control of his life, his symptoms might even gradually disappear. Hope this helps
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