I hate myself

[littleturtle]

I’m exhausted from my depression anxiety and PTSD. I’ve been having nightmares for awhile now and I don’t want to try to be strong today. I know I should get out of bed and try but I’m just tired. I hate dealing with this I want to sleep. But I have shit to do like client meetings. I don’t want to let the people relying on me down but I don’t want to get out bed either

[kevans16]

Good Morning. I can relate to your fatigue. It's a beast. And to not be able to shut off life outside of that moment your in...until you are yourself again is the worst. Wouldn't it be great if we had a pause button? That we could press to stop things until we are better. I would love to have one of those.

I know that it's not easy but remind yourself how strong you were the last time that you overcame a morning similar to this one...despite how difficult it typically is for us to pull through, we someone how do it!!! I surprise myself at times. Don't let go of what holds you together and take it one day at a time. For example, I try and find something to appreciate about today (tuesday) for instance because it's almost Wednesday and Monday is over. For some strange reason, it also helps when I mark the day off the calendar. I swear, everyday when I wake up, the first thing that I do is put a line through it on the calendar. It's relieving.

Lastly, don't forget to make yourself priority. If this is truly one of those days where you need to stay home and take care of yourself...and you have time off to take. Do what you need to do...so when you return to work you can give your best you!!! In a situation like this, if you are in an industry where you can re-schedule a meeting with your client then go for it!! If your situation is a little different and you can't get someone to cover for you, then I would meet your clients...do what you gotta do...and come home early. Either way, you got it. Virtual hugs and love : )

[littleturtle in reply to kevans16]

Thanks for your support. Today my client is someone in crisis so can’t really bail, but I’m okay today not my worst day for sure. I just needed to shake off the morning blues. I’m big on to do lists and checking them off when I complete tasks. It helps for some reason. Thanks for taking the time to help me. I hope you have a great day

[GoodDay2smile]

Hi Littleturtle

I have that feeling too sometimes. Let's reach a compromise.... you'll get up, go to your meetings and afterwards you'll come back to bed. Bed will be there awaiting. so....go! Let me know how the meeting was.

[littleturtle in reply to GoodDay2smile]

Well I made it I’m here at work. Still a little tired but glad I came even though I was immediately bombarded by my supervisors with work. Which could be better because now I’ll have a productive day. Thanks for your support!

[lovetodance2018 in reply to littleturtle]

I am so glad you reached out on this forum. Sometimes it just takes encouragement from friends who understand to get us going. I am glad you made it to work. I understand being tired and working, but what you have to do will keep your mind occupied and off of yourself. Our minds can really control us. We need to focus on positive things. I will keep you in my prayers for tonight that you don't have nightmares. Are you seeing a counselor for your depression and PTSD? Do you take medication? Both of those things are helpful in feeling better, medication is needed if it is a chemical imbalance. I read this great article to help with sleep, especially the part about listening to music and meditations before bed. bit.ly/2IMagX9

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. Blessings

[littleturtle in reply to lovetodance2018]

I do take medication and go to therapy. I ended up going to work today but left for a couple hours to go home and nap which I think was the right thing to do. At least I tried and only lost a couple hours instead of a whole day. I think medication and therapy has helped me a lot. I think there are a lot of stressors right now for me. Someone triggered my PTSD pretty badly last week it was inadvertent but it happened. And my bf is moving out of state and the end of the month which is tough cause he’s my rock

[lovetodance2018 in reply to littleturtle]

I am glad you did go to work for a while. Baby steps are important to remember and being proud of yourself for making the effort. I am sorry your bf is out of the state until the end of the month. Try not to focus on missing him. Instead, see if there are friends you can hang with, or find something you enjoy doing to keep your mind occupied. I will continue to pray for you. Pleasant dreams to you. Hugs!