The motherless mother: Losing my Granny... - Anxiety and Depre...

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The motherless mother

Anna830
Anna830

Losing my Granny was hard, losing my Grandmother was harder but losing my Mother was absolutely soul crushing.....

I thought she was just mad at me, that's why she hadn't texted me back. But after hearing that none of our friends had heard from her I began to really worry. So I walked over again (she only lived 3 doors down) and knocked again. This time I peaked thru the window on her door and saw her keys.... And the door was locked so she had to be home! But she wouldn't answer me. I crawled thru a window to find my mommy cold and stiff in her chair. Her dogs still next to her, the little one I had to take out of her arms. This happened last October. I can't shake the image or the feeling of her cold skin. This isn't the first time I've dealt with loss death and grief. From my uncles who adored me, all of my amazing grandparents and my little sister who was driving to pick me up and crashed I've been thru a lot. But nothing, I mean NOTHING compares to losing my best friend my rock my Mother. Now I sit here stuck in grief with 5 wonderful children who need their mother. I know I have to find a way to get better, to regain control of my mind. I just don't know how without her...............

4 Replies
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Hi honey, you are doing great for even being able to reach out to a blog today. Is their anyway you could talk to a professional? You have been thru a lot. I just joined today so this is new to me too. Just try and take care of yourself right now. It’s ok to be a little selfish when you are in pain. Do you have any help with your children?

Hi honey, you are doing great for even being able to reach out to a blog today. Is their anyway you could talk to a professional? You have been thru a lot. I just joined today so this is new to me too. Just try and take care of yourself right now. It’s ok to be a little selfish when you are in pain. Do you have any help with your children?

Hidden
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Hi Anna830!

I can deeply empathize with you. I’m so sorry for your losses. You/we can get through this! We have to...I too was devastated when my Mother passed away in 2000, then my Father in 2013, but the biggest blow came when my only sibling, my best friend, my sister, passed away in December. She was my rock. I have been hospitalized twice this year for depression/suicidal ideation and her death has definitely been a piece of that twisted puzzle. I’m fighting hard to live without her. I know that she’s gone...I even realize that she’s much better off and no longer suffering. I’m going to make it and so will you! I’m not sure enough time has passed. Keep fighting and trudging forward. I also seek spiritual strength to help me. Please take care and hopefully we will be stronger as a result of these tragedies...

Hidden
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Hi Anna! Everyone grieves at their own pace! I lost my mom 29 years ago, she was my best friend too. It took me a good 10 years to deal with it...I still have my days where I want her back, I think that's very typical when you have a bond like that! One day we will reunite, won't that be wonderful? I'm so so sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm here for you. Sending love & hugs your way!! XXX

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