Mother : I have been up for days the... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Mother

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I have been up for days

the world is changing once more and I am lost in it again. You address me like a letter that is not too heavy for reading

I think of this often

We do not speak of the sizable donation your heart gives mine

but I think of this often

We do not always discuss the way your body carries mine

but I think of this often

I come to you hands burnt with memories, hands burnt with prayer, hands burnt with love, you blow on the skin, and I fall asleep

I come to you, heart creased like a folded chair, body bent like 20 pound currency, we spend moments trying to figure out what to do with what's left of me

I ask you questions about the world

if the songs could ever be beautiful again

if the light can come without fire

if the pain will ever relocate, will ever take it's distant family and leave me

we do not give the pain a name

but it has a face

sharp teeth

and appetite

you remind me that the pain is more afraid of me than i am of it

I tell you the poetry hasn't fixed me yet, you remind me that I can't bring words to a knife fight

I ask you will I ever be okay

will I ever move on

can i ever get over it

you say this is not something you can get over, not something you can forget

this is something where

in time

remembering

will hurt less

every morning I make a list of people I know who love me, I put my name underneath yours, I think of our names, how similar they are, the irony of its distinction

that it only takes one night to heal the morning

you came in, and the pain fold it's clothes

you came in, and it packs it's family

you came in and the teeth chips away

the light does not burn... the songs are beautiful again

15 Replies

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melbrown4 years ago

That's so beautiful Danielle... touched my heart... Love you Sunflower 💗💗💗💗 Hope you & your mom are doing well... been thinking of you.

in reply to melbrown4 years ago

We're hanging in there Mel, they're thinking of ending the quarantine, the beaches here are open which will make things worse, I hope you and your family are doing okay during these horrible times

Jeff19434 years ago

One day soon I will tell you the purpose of life and there can be no doubt about it. In the meantime remind yourself constantly how incredibly lucky you are.

in reply to Jeff19434 years ago

Is there really a purpose, and thank you 🌻

mrmonk4 years ago

With each poem you post, I can sense you growing stronger and stronger as a poet (The "I come to you..." lines are stunning). A fierce and loving tribute, a hymn to the bond between mother and daughter. Thank you for sharing this, and continued thanks to your mother for doing what no one should be asked to do. I hope you are both well.

in reply to mrmonk4 years ago

Thank you mrmonk ,I have been writing more lately, it's keeping me sane during times like these