Feeling low

[Micmac7676]

I got into a course this year that I’ve wanted to get into for a very long time but currently I’ve been feeling like I just want everything to be over with as quickly as possible. Im extremely overwhelmed and stressed and you would think that would motivate me to maybe get some work done but I have absolutely no motivation or energy. I feel like Im just living but basically an empty vessel otherwise. Theres been a lot happening in my personal life as well. My boyfriend had a breakdown earlier this year and he’s been going for treatment but the treatment just seems to be him lying around doing nothing. Every time I try bring this up with him he gets defensive and tells me about how hard things have been for him - which they have but Im getting very frustrated that he cant see that Im not trying to hurt him but its also hurting me to see him just do nothing. Everything is just too much for me. I don’t enjoy anything Im doing or life in general really. Everyone keeps telling me this is my prime but I honestly wish it would all be over.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry about your boyfriend and how this is effecting your life lately....I was wondering if you may want to try and distance yourself a bit from his recovery, and give yourself some space to work on what you need to do for you. You know of course you can't fix him, and I'm sure your missing how the two of you used to have a relationship...but sadly this is something he is going to have to do on his own and at his own pace. I think acceptance on your part is hard when you love someone and you only want the best for them. But your life is what you need to work on and find what would make you feel better, and also what to do right now around your course. It may help if there is counselling in your school to talk all this out about how your just not able to get into your course right now, and see what options there might be for you so you don't go down that road too much further of not knowing what to do.

[Micmac7676 in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks! I think it helps to hear some words of kindness and it does help me to get some perspective again. I’ve been putting off seeking counseling at my school but I think its cos Im scared that when I open up it might be too much for me to handle. Quite silly since Im studying psychology but it’s still hard to do the right thing even when you know what it might be. Also distance isnt an option since we’re staying together 😐

[fauxartist in reply to Micmac7676]

I thought that too....because I just had so much bottled up over the years....but when it gets to be too much....it's okay to stop at that point and make a note of what it is that has you so upset. Make sure that you tell this person you’re working with about your fears so they can be gentle with you and guide you through stuff at your own pace.

A therapist friend of mine many years ago brought up that she too was in counselling, and I though how odd that sounded, why she wouldn't be able to work out her own stuff since that is what she did for a living. But what she said made perfect sense: even though we may be very good at what we do for others....sometimes we too need help to fix ourselves...everyone has issues of some sort.

Sometimes we can emotionally distance ourself from a loved one who is working through stuff....it's hard when you are living with them....but you can do it.

[hypercat54 in reply to Micmac7676]

You can still put mental distance between you as distance isn't only physical. x

[AZ1970]

It sounds like depression is hitting both of you hard. My husband and I have been through this. It is difficult to watch someone we love struggle. His journey belongs to him, just as yours belongs to you. Focus on your recovery and what you are able to do. Are either of you getting counseling? If so, maybe a joint session or two could assist you in discussing how to best support and encourage each other.

[Micmac7676 in reply to AZ1970]

I think the joint counseling could work. If at the very least for me to understand his psychologists plan a bit better. It is hard. We’ve been together for long but I feel like we’re going through the type of trial you would go through when your married - I know it wont be forever but it feels so intense right now