Stinking Thinking

[Micki_72]

HI, I am new here. I am trying to manage my anxiety but I feel uncomfortable in most situations and around everyone (even those that I trust). My medication makes me sleepy so I self-medicate to feel "normal". My thoughts are controlling me not the other way around. Lost and tired of feeling like this...

[Hidden]

Don't allow your thoughts to control you! Our brains are very powerful...if we can go down...then we can go back up!!! I'm here for you!!! Peace & love!!! XXX

[Micki_72 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! I am a very strong person but I find it hard to stop thinking like this. Maybe I'll go out and get some sunshine and air...

[Hidden in reply to Micki_72]

Sure do hope the sunshine gave you some peace!! I know it's a challenge but you said you are strong so take this bully of a disease head on!!! You can do this! I've got your back!!! XXX

[Strongheartforever]

Same here and I find it’s good to let go of impossibly high standards we set for ourselves and concentrate more on connecting with people, listening to people, get down into THEIR experiences and BE in the moment with someone. It’s a vacation from yourself and a chance to build intimacy which is just being able to be real and vulnerable with others like you were above in your post. Practice listening with openness, just be a vessel for someone and accept and hear them. This is the anchor that builds true joy. I love your title, it reminds me of Stuart Smalley (?) on Saturday Night Live. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me.” Great character!!

[fauxartist]

what do you mean you self medicate....I know what it means to me....I used to drink and do coke and smoke pot.....what's your 'drug' or 'drink' of choice.....you used the term 'stinkin thinkin'.....and I understand that...no judgement....just wanted to touch bases and understand whether you were okay or not with self medicating....glad your sharing ....

[Micki_72 in reply to fauxartist]

What I mean is I drink beer to calm my nerves. I get really anxious when i feel pressured. If I have to go to a family/friends event, a party etc (being around ppl). I don't do any drugs, that's never been my issue TG. Stinking thinking is something my therapist taught me which is really about my negative thoughts that aren't true that I need to learn to realize before it gets out of control. It starts with one thought about how "I feel" about a situation and turns into a whole "nobody likes me" "nobody understands me" "im alone" thing and that's the part that makes me want to isolate myself. After my initial post yesterday, I got in my car, went shopping, got a call from my children (grown) to go to the movies/fireworks and ended up having a good day. I still felt uneasy and that's the part that i need to fix. I shouldn't feel like this around my children smh. Thanks for your response. Didn't mean to ramble but wanted to talk about it to someone who understands.

[fauxartist in reply to Micki_72]

completely understand...no rambling in sayin what you need to....and for me...it's from AA....'Stinkin Thinkin' is a term that as you expressed...it's what anyone who is trying to get their head on straight has to check themselves on....and you sound like your on a good track....there's other saying like...'screw guilt'...'be in the here and now'...the list is endless....but they are just all simple slogans that are passed around in group meetings to focus on while trying to stay sober.

I do understand the self medication, and I don't drink because I can't...but I have no judgement on what anyone else does. I just know for me if I find myself hiding in the bottom of a bottle, or trying to drink my problems away, or just drinking because I want to feel better than how I was feeling, it never worked out so well...and being an alcoholic....it acts as a depressant, and having the disease of depression just is a double negative for me.