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Anxiety and Depression Support
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My generation is out of control

The way things are going, with bullying and kids exposing each other plus the suicide rate keep getting higher each year, parents are so busy trying to be their kid's bestfriend they're forgetting they need discipline. When i have a baby im going so far away probably live in a place where electricity haven't reached yet. a place that where people are still living in the dark age

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Have any answers or thoughts on gun control. I agree, the only way a person can escape the depths of what our country has become is to isolate

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I use to believe everyone had a right to carry but not anymore

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America is getting worse by the minute and our dear president is dragging us through the mud

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Do you think it has to do with the lack of discipline parents are teaching their children these days? Letting social media raise their children? I had a thought about this; when I was growing up i only had to deal with social pressure while at school. Now adays kids have to deal with it 24-7 with social media.

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We're letting technology take over, and yes parents keep losing control over their kids cause they lack the courage to put their foot down

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Homesteading all the way!

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Agree completely

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Their is the Amish. They don’t use electricity. They are in Pennsylvania and Ohio I think.

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I refuse to dress like them lol but will definitely consider living some place similar

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Lol where I live the Amish run a farmers market. They make hand made pretzels and they have a bakery. The pies and cakes look and smell so good. They also sell produce and have a butcher. All organic grass fed beef. If you can tolerate the dress code they sure eat good.

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I wouldn't mind living there but i might make the neighbors uncomfortable with my way of dressing up

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I live in Pennsylvania right next to a town with lots of Amish. I see the horse and buggy’s everywhere. Some of the stores even have a place to tie the horses. We have a few different kinds here. You can tell by the color of their clothes. They make and sell Hugh donuts on the side of the road. I would love to spend some time with them. They never speak to you or even look at you. Their way of life has a lot of good points. You will see them glued to their phone

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They run a Dutch farmers market in western jersey. It is five towns over from where I live. They have nice produce and baked goods. They make hand made pretzels. They talk to you at this one.

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Well it definitely would not work out because im outspoken i always have a lot to say

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We're being led by social media

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Lol that's sound horrible only 3 stations??

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I saw a movie once no color it was a little weird

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Shrug. I remember those days too, and families had to talk with one another and play outside, and play board games more often, and even make up silly games together. in every developing nation in the mid to late 1900's, when television became affordable for the masses, murders increased three fold in the first 10 to 15 years, so . . . that does suggest something.

Maybe there was something else involved, but given it was a consistent trend in every case, I kind of doubt it.

When I was real young, the first program that came on the television in the summer when school was out was "Romper Room," at 5:00am, and it was, well, not exactly a real favorite of mine. After that was Captain Kangaroo, and I liked that show. Romper Room was the reason I started making my own breakfast, becasue I went to bed at 7:00pm, and was usually awake by 5am - at least 2 hours before either of my parents.

When my father was home in the evenings, both he and my mom would always be up quite late becasue he drank, and they would often argue until midnight or beyond. When he wasn't home, my mom would really try to sleep in some, becasue she was "just a house wife that just sat around all day." (Yeah right. She was exhausted and worked her a$$ off to raise two kids. I was one, and my belligerent, racist, womanizing father was the other.)

So, yeah, I guess I was kind of 1st generation "TV baby." For those that aren't familiar with the term, it is any kid that has had a television used as a way to sort of, "babysit" or occupy them starting at a very early age. Now toddlers surf the internet on smartphones with no filtering to prevent them from seeing stuff that's inappropriate.

For what it's worth, I have not had broadcast television in my home for over 25 years. The lies in commercial programing was really beginning to upset me, especially but definitely NOT limited to the news broadcasts. The push with the war on drugs, Regan's mandatory minimum laws and Nancy's, "Oh, just say no kids!" rhetoric was bad enough, but then the "Coalition for a Drug Free America," ran an ad targeted at youth saying that "Marijuana is SO POWERFUL now . . . It's as DANGEROUS AS HEROIN!" Heroin wasn't main stream through the 80's and into the 90's, but I knew better becasue, well, you know . . . family.

That was the last straw and I called the cable company and said, "Turn it off, I'm done."

If you lie to your kids and get caught in your own lie, don't wonder why they don't believe you any more. It's becasue they are now scared to trust you becasue you obviously either don't tell the truth, or worse, don't KNOW the truth.

I did miss every episode of "The Bachelor," though. Imagine my brokenness inside. (Yeah, right!)

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What is happening is not the fault of people, it is the fault of a broken system that favors wealth, and the media feeds it to the masses on a silver platter. The names behind what has been forked out to "we, the waitresses, the factory workers, (I know . . . what's a factory, right?) the auto mechanics, and the cashiers at Walmart . . ." the names of who did what do not matter. The only thing that matters is educating ourselves as to the rights we USED to be afforded before black men and women, and white women could vote, and WHY the white men KNEW these rights were important to them. Believe me, they are also important to women, AND men of ALL colors.

Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address started by stating, "Four score (a score is 20) and 7 years ago, (so 87 years prior), our forefathers set forth upon this continent, a NEW NATION, conceived in liberty, and dedicate to the fact that all men are create equal . . . "

"Men" and "mankind" may be gender biased terms, but make no mistake about it, it MEANS - all human beings.

On the subject of gun control, for example: stricter gun laws ensure that only wealthy white people, and the government can have guns. Gun control does NOT prevent wealthy people from, "having the means to protect their homes and families from all hostile intruders, foreign and domestic, and even one's own government if necessary," which is the express reason for the 2nd amendment in the United States . . . no NO. Gun control wil NOT prevent wealthy people from owning as many guns as they wish. Are the coporate board members and controlling stock owners of Straum Rugger, Smith & Weson, or any other firearm manufacturer going to loose their rights to own guns? Hell no! They own the factories that make them! Gun control strips ONLY poor (working class AND BELOW) people from having that right.

According to the American Constitution, the police are not ALLOWED to protect you, but are only permitted to enforce, serve and protect the LAW, though there are a LOT of good cops that go above and beyond the call of duty to keep peace too. That is not part of their job. There are also a lot of people who abuse their authority as police men and women, and some of them are my own family members. This is not new news, is it?

Women and black people fought long and hard to have equal rights, so why are so many now wanting to give full control of our safety to the very government that tried to prevent that from happening? The Declaration in Independence stated that this was to be a government "Of the people, BY the people and FOR the people."

I don't think anyone that has never read the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States of America, AND the Bill of Rights should be permitted to VOTE on any issue that could take those rights away from them and others, because they don't have any clue what their rights are, and more to the point why taking those rights away turns citizens into slaves. Further, it is NOT our fault if we don't know what those documents say, it is the fault of a Federal School System that refuses to TEACH that to us, AND our children as part of our basic education, so please, don't feel badly is you don't know what they say. That was not YOUR mistake, it was by design to keep "common folk" ignorant, just like black people used to be killed for learning to read, right here in America, and not too terribly long ago to boot.

So, if you want to have real discussion about real solutions, we HAVE to FIRST start by taking control of our futures by understanding how and why our rights as human beings are being infringed upon, and THEN discuss it. This IS an important part of mental health. Having the courage to look at truth.

One definition of insanity is, "In-ability to tell the true from the false." How much of what is in the news it true? How much of what is on TV is true? Not much, to be quite honest.

So, where do we start? It's easy. Search for and read the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the Unite States of America, and the Bill of Rights and it's Constitutional Amendments. Just because American schools let us down does not mean we can't read what they and the pres have kept from us.

If you are from the United Kingdom and you are reading this, cool, let me hasten to add that THIS particular section of Health Unlocked IS in fact, the "Anxiety and Depression Association of America" section of Health Unlocked, so yes, it was put here and is maintained by and American Institution. Please . . . don't cloud the waters with European issues because that just causes confusion, and doing that is not sane behavior.

Every citizen of every country should be aware of their OWN issues. American government has, in my opinion, forced too many of it's own (political) beliefs on WAY too many countries that don't even border the US, and "other countries" have done that too, but I for one do not vote on issues of English Parliament, and don't tell English men and women how they should vote, becasue it's quite frankly none of my business.

If you are an American, that is reality. If you are an American that has not read those three important documents, you do not know what your rights are as a citizen, nor why they are CRITICAL to your freedom and right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and therefore can not possibly know how to vote in such a way as to give our children something better than the mess we were handed. Every single American reading this was born in a country that owned everyone money, and has been expected to pay the debts create by our parents. We are all handing the next generation more (government) debt than we inherited, and all the while being encouraged to give up ALL of our rights and just let the government "deal with it." That hasn't been working, and voting for one of two political parties hasn't either. They both spend money we don't have on stuff we don't need, and the wealthy decide who the candidates we are allowed to vote for will be.

This IS reality, and learning what DID work before we got "dumbed down" as a nation IS the best solution I know how to offer, because it is based in facts, not wishful thinking and then just go watch more TV. Yes, it takes a little work, but not as much as you might think, becasue the reality is, we do it TOGETHER, not all alone. :o)

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'The true cost' most people in the US are living inside a box no one really cares about what is truly going on outside that little box we just shop eat watch tv as our country destroy and bully the rest of the world and our president self destructing us from the inside

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But, see, this is by design, SS. When day to day life is so ugly for we working class folks too, we DO need to sometimes get a break from it. The trouble is, most of the television content is so negative. Media is EVERYWHERE, and we honestly need to start limiting our OWN "screen time" not just our kid's "screen time." That takes discipline.

It's just by dumb luck I turned that d@m3d TV of over 25 years ago, really. It's not becasue I'm some kind of special or something. I was nuts for the first couple months, truth be told, but I had a computer, and dial-up BBS stuff, and aside from that, I REALLY had a tough time figuring out what the heck to do with myself!

That all being the case, it is also by dumb luck that, really, I don't even spend a lot of time here. I have been using computers since 1980, do NOT have ANY social networking accounts and never have aside from this ONE SPOT on Health Unlocked, and if you read back through my posting history, I often go a week or more without posting ANYTHING. I get the daily digest, but don't respond to much, becasue I'm sort of picky about people too, and quite honestly, am sort of a social misfit with REAL bad social anxiety and a VERY low self esteem. I often feel like less than everyone else, when I'm in a bad place an need contact with really good hearted people badly, I CONSTANTLY try to prove my worth, and am almost always perceived as having a big ego and being a total a-hole, when in fact I just really want to be "good enough."

It can be very lonely, humiliating and isolating, becasue it's at the times I am most desperate for compassion and love from the people I come in contact with that I try the hardest to prove I am worthy of it, and that can lead to a downward spiral. The last 4 years have been the worst I have ever experienced since I was 3-13 years old and hated by my own family aside from my mom. I think the narcissistic father had a lot to do with why I tried so hard to prove I wasn't always "less than." It's all stuff I am still trying to work through, and the way my father has slandered me, treated me and turned the community against me since my mom's death has been particularly hard to overcome.

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Yup. Women are victims and men are the reason. Come on hypercat, really? Here? Why?

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Well, we do differ! :) That's not always a bad thing, but I was feeling a bit man-bashed and don't appreciate terms like "HIS-story," or "Man-splaining" etc. Derogatory statements that lump men together are socially accepted, but also not okay, especially in a place like this. I'm not saying that was your intent, but I've gotten that feeling between us more than once.

The topic was, "My generation is out of control," which sort of made my heart hurt, becasue every one of the generations after the "baby-boomer" generation forward have been subject to the "These damned kids these days don't appreciate anything and have it so easy," and "You don't know what hard is," kind of rhetoric. I was subjected (and still am) to that self-serving blame-game garbage too, and was used as a narcissistic feeder by my own father.

You know, I have stated that the website, DAUGHTERSofnarcissisticmothers.com not having a counterpart for SONS of narcissistic FATHERS is proof positive that men are dis-proportionately un-recognized as targets of abuse even though men are victims of abuse every bit as frequently as women are.

If that's not true, then the lack of a site for sons of narcissistic fathers proves narcissistic MEN are a strange anomaly, and it is almost always women who are narcissistic abusers. I don't believe that for a moment, and also know for a fact that narcissists will play both sides of the field, and by my own observations, seem to include both genders equally. Check out the resource I posted. Knowledge is power, and you MAY be as surprised as I was when I first encountered it a few years ago. I said to myself, "Holy crap. That is what's been happening to ME for over 40 YEARS! (I discovered this about 3 or 4 years ago)

Man bashing publicly is so socially accepted, but make no mistake about it, that is also abusive behavior, and I will call it as I see it becasue as a victim, being empowered is important, even if people insist it's still a man's world and all that.

(And I quote, "But we still live in a world of men's culture and values and don't forget history is his -story and women and their achievements are often minimised (unless in a domestic setting) or even forgotten altogether.")

Never forget, the one who seeks revenge digs two graves.

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Putting the soap-box aside and speaking on a much more personal level . . . SweetSymphony, I do feel the same sense of despair and confusion I hear you expressing, a LOT of the time, just as you do. I also have periods where things are going reasonably well and I feel much more at peace with the world around me, at least, in my own space here, and I bet you feel the same way too. That is the human condition all over the globe.

There are single mothers working in textile factories in India for about 2 US dollars per day who have to bring their son or daughter to work, and that young child has to stay on a mat behind her through her entire 12 hour shift, because she has no-one to watch them that day, and they feel despair much of the time, and sometimes still feel glimmers of hope, EXACTLY like you and I do too. (That example comes from a documentary called, "The True Cost," about the clothing industry. It was really well done, and it was a REAL EYE OPENER! You might enjoy it.)

The most important thing to finding solutions that I could NEVER find otherwise, is to forget everything I THINK I know BEFORE learning new information, becasue my own perceptions and/or beliefs can destroy my ability to hear what people are REALLY saying, because my mind begins to insert things that I THINK they are "really trying to say," and most of the time, it is NOT what they are really trying to say at all. It is just my own pre-conceived notions ruining my ability to truly listen and learn something new.

Also, the surest way for me to learn well is to not only read about it, but talk about it with other people that have read the same thing, becasue if there was a part I thought I understood but was wrong about, those discussions WILL help me to see that, and also help me to really remember what I learned too. I also find mistakes when trying to teach someone else what I have learned, because they often see parts I didn't. Raising my daughter is one of the STRONGEST proofs of that fact! :) Teaching a child why lying is wrong, or cheating or stealing is wrong, or name-calling is wrong, in VERY simple terms can quickly strip away any of the "grown-up words" that have over the years, allowed myself to sort of, "adjust" the truth, "for my convenience." Yup, young kids are not real good at B.Sing themselves, and when there's one around all the time, it can make becoming a better person not only easier, but SO WORTHWHILE!

Anyhow, yeah, I often feel bewildered, scared I made awful choices, scared I have done something I can't fix, all that stuff, but that's common for anyone that is a good person in their heart. If we weren't good people, we wouldn't care and would never feel guilt, shame, remorse, or for that matter, any fear about making bad choices.

The anxiety is a marker of someone with a decent soul, and that's why I say the people that "never have 'mental health issues'," are the ones that really do." I think we WILL be okay just as long as we stay honest about our hearts - keep working toward NOT judging people (including ourselves), giving ourselves and others REAL GRACE when we or they make mistakes, and

just

keep

talking. :o)

I really and truly hope and pray that somewhere in my words you find something that allows you to have hope that we're going to be okay too. I don't care to see anyone suffer.

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"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty or safety"

-Benjamin Franklin

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When I feel unsafe, I get anxious. I don't think that's a mental defect, I think it's a natural fact. When I am anxious for long periods of time, I get depressed. When my liberties are taken away, and my safety is put in the hands of people that don't know me, or really care much about me, and in many cases see me as the ENEMY, that flat out terrifies me.

I worked in the prison system for over a decade, and now going through an airport is more rigorous search than going into a State prison . . . and trust me, we are NOT being made safer by that. (But it sure costs a lot of money and makes a lot of jobs, right?)

10 people could assemble 5 two man sniper teams and bounce around the country for 20 years picking people off, holding this country under a reign of terror, and the government would not be able to stop it, becasue they would just drive CARS from location to location.

Orwellian government is not the solution. So yes, the fact that people are voting for Orwellian governmental total control and the striping of ALL of our rights to privacy, all of our rights to unreasonable search and siesure, and lots and lots of other completely un-constitutional stuff without even realizing that our liberties are the only ting protecting us from becoming slaves to the State and the financial/industrial complex, including the war machine . . . this is VERY relevant to why I feel a great deal of anxiety. This will be handed down to our children too, and that is almost more than I can bear.

I love the movie, "October Sky." I was into rocketry when I was a kid. One of the guys that movie was about pointed out that if 4 high-school kids did same thing today to learn about rockets and win science fairs, the materials would cost about $30,000 PER ROCKET, (and they build several), and those kids and all the teachers would be serving long Federal prison sentiences, becasue they would be convicted of not only Federal crimes, but of terrorism too.

Really? They were trying to learn about space exploration and won several science fairs! How are kids supposed to learn if they are not trusted with ANYTHING? {sigh}

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why...you post this..in an anxiety forum...

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Because I can, because i want to because i felt like it, because that's what i was thinking about that moment or are we not allowed to speak our mind here anymore... if you don't like what someone post keep it moving no reason to reply

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there’s other forums...this is for anxiety and depression.

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this filled with negativity, we don’t want that here.

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It is full of facts about what is causing huge increases in anxiety and depression, and it really IS the place to sort those issues and figure out solutions that work for all people, all gender identities, all cultural backgrounds. I am not trying to fight with you jaderbug. I am saying that avoiding these very real issues and and NOT talking about them is avoidance, and will not resolve them.

"this filled with negativity, we don’t want that here. "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It it not negativity. This is filled with "things that I believe are causing not only my anxiety, but the huge increases in anxiety in ALL of society, becasue they are REAL issues, and people need to talk about them without fighting or "trying to win," in order to figure out how to resolve them.

There is a thing called, "Conflict resolution," and it is an important skill to learn. Conflict can not be resolve by forcing others to change, becasue I can't change anyone else, only myself. I completely ignored the issues I am talking about for years and years, adn they only got worse, so I am trying something different, but I'm not getting much support, am I? Did you bother to watch and listen to what the woman had to say in the video I posted? I SAID that she expressed very clearly abuses I have suffered. Please please please please, i am begging you, just listen to her with an opened mind.

Working together to identify the source of where the huge increases in anxiety and depression are coming from, and then working together to find ways to resolve the problems is the way to empower people, and allow us to heal.

Censoring people who are talking about why they are scared and depressed isn't the answer.

Does seeing the world going to heck in a hand-basket scare you? It scares me and makes me anxious. That is about anxiety.

When I am not allowed to talk about and resolve the SOURCE of anxiety, (that is obviously share by many others), I become depressed. That is about depression.

Both are on the rise all over the place, and certainly I am not the only one that finds these types of frightening issues the CAUSE of anxiety and depression. It's not going to fix itself by me and everyone else being told not to discuss it in a place where RESOLVING anxiety and depression is the actual purpose, as it is here.

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Well, one of the things that was being discussed is how so much political unrest and the tendency of working class people to blame one another (which is not the reality of where the unrest is being created) is causal, and perhaps one of the biggest factors in why suicide rates and mental health problems are mushrooming at an alarming rate.

I can certainly see why you would ask that, jaderbug, and I hope you can understand it's relevance. The thread topic that SweetSymphony chose was, "My Generation Is Out Of Control," which is really evidence of how common working (or disabled and poor) folks are really inclined to self blame, or blame this group or that, when in fact, it's not any one group to blame, and even if it was this or that group, assigning the blame does no good because it provides no solution.

The, "it's all these or those people, or guns, or republicans or women . . ." none of that stuff is true, and one definition of insanity is "The inability to separate the true from the false." If anyone believes the stuff in the news to be the whole truth, (especially these days) they are really being lead way away into false beliefs, and that, by definition, is insanity.

So, yeah, talking about the real, and WHOLE problem that causes both men and women to suffer, and the increase in suicides and mental health meltdowns at alarming rates does not have a 30 second, "Just do this and you will loose 48 pounds in a week solution." Media would love to sell you that, because that's what everyone wants, but it is NOT practical.

One of the things SweetSymphony brought up as one of the things that causes her (and SO many of us) confusion is that she used to believe law abiding citizens SHOULD be able to have fire arms, but now does not, or is un-sure, and that was just an example of one thing causing that, "Golly, NOW I don't even know what I believe anymore," type feeling. It's a good example, becasue it's another hot - anxiety driven topic these days. (It takes the focus of dirty dealings with Russia too, which is handy for elected members of the government, and those that did not win too, so it's good spin and another way to just let the government and rich white people have all the guns, and treat common folk like they don't deserve ANY rights and CAN'T BE TRUSTED! Blah blah blah)

So, you see, it IS relevant to reality, anxiety, confusion, self doubt and all this stuff. "Just don't think about what's causing anxiety, and do NOT talk about it here," is called "Avoidance" by mental health professionals, and is actually recognized as being very destructive, but the media sells it. "Just chill and binge watch 'The Bachelor,' and we'll all feel better? Umm..... no. Not a good idea.

In order to feel better, systems that are broken need to be fixed, and only the working class has the power to do that. Politicians taking special interest money and creating more debt for the working class by buying junk we don't need from people that already have more money than God is a broken system, and that IS a reality that is causing us AS VOTING ADULTS MUCH descention among our own ranks - much in-fighting, and hence the increase in anxiety, depression, huge increases in suicides (adults between the ages of 35 and 49 being by far the BIGGEST INCREASE, which also happens to be the people that are really begining to become aware of just how rigged this whole system is, and yeah, as a nearly 50 year old man, I'M SCARED of the direction we're going in!)

So, yeah, we HAVE to talk about what's real, because that's what's driving us NUTS! Depression is not caused by rap or rock-n-roll music, or Marylin Manson. Such music is one of the only outlets we HAVE to SORT of talk about how we feel. Ignoring the problem is only making it bigger.

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:( The original poster has now hidden their profile and can not be messaged privately. I did not private message her at all, so I doubt it has anything to do with me. I wonder if she hid her profile because of other people blowing up her in-box to talk trash . . . maybe not so much about her, but . . . maybe me? Maybe not too, but an educate guess would say it's a 50/50 chance I'm getting bashed, or, I have offended or frightened this lady.

I do pray it's neither, but either way, it sort of makes my heart heavy.

If anyone has messaged her trash-talking men because you don't agree with stuff here, I can and will say, "Shame on you." If someone has an axe to grind with me, talk TO me about me, and don't do it behind closed doors. Do it where people can witness our dialogue so that, if I have misspoke or need to understand something that I don't, others can also be aware of that and help me see what I'm missing, and so that if you are the one that's missing important points, someone other than me can perhaps help you see where you are in fact the one that is misinformed. This is the ONLY way it could possibly be objective.

I am not here to argue, nor to . . . crap . . . is this another blow-up here? This is why I avoid this type of setting. Men are rarely supported equally. :( :( :( And still I am being sniped by people saying they don't like me saying:

"Hey, maybe we need to talk about this scary stuff and figure out good solutions, and then we can all start healing. One world. One people."

I don't know why I bother to keep trying to find answers. The world keeps getting worse and worse, and people just want me to shut up.

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she’s on hide because she has a fake profile. the people in the pictures she’s posted aren’t her.

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Where is she what happened

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I really don't know, Danielle, and I feel awful about it.

BTW, on your b-day, please please don't have way high expectations. I wouldn't want you to have a big disappointment and be sad, AGAIN. I really hope it brings you a really wonderful, peaceful and joyful feeling that's just, you know . . . ends with, "Ahhhhh, that was REALLY NICE!" at the end of the day.

A truly contented heart is perhaps the greatest gift we can ever receive.

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Yes i definitely wouldn't want to be in a bad place on my birthday, im really excited but you're right, i should just wait and see how it goes

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That doesn't mean, "Don't be hopeful." No no! Just, you know, don't dream of a 100% perfect night out, and then this and that . . . and the ball-room dancing with the whole orchestra playing just for me and Prince Charming, and then everyone applauds . . ."

A friend of mine told me a really great birthday thing she does. Her family has, well, family members, you see. And, well, getting everyone together in the same place IS possible, but, well, not ideal. Soooooo, to a kid the personality stuff and drama, she asked each member of her family to just pick a date and take her to lunch - and it doesn't have to be at the Ritz or something, just so they can have 2 hours, no cell phones, no rush rush rush, just to enjoy one another's company.

Her birthday usually lasts a month or so, because once or twice a week she's going out to lunch with some e she loves for the whole month, and she enjoys every minute of it.

I don't know what made me thunk if that, but, whatever. I hope you lime the idea, and if not right away lime this year, hang on to that. You might get a lot of mileage out of it at some point! 🎁

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I made a decision very young when I learned that there were such a thing as "unwanted children" that I would raise a child that didn't have a father before I would father one of my own, IF I even decided to father a child. I also decided it would be preferable if they were not white, because I had also learned that kids who were from "less desirable races" almost NEVER got adopted. That really upset me that CHILD could be classified as "less desireable."

I got to do that, and sure enough, just as a matter of chance, her bio dad (who committed suicide while she was still in her mother's womb) was African American.

Her mom, my ex, ended up cheating on me one too many times after 9-1/2 years in a (supposedly) commuted monogamous relationship with me, and when the truth became know to me about the fact that every time she started trouble and ran off crying "victim victim victim," it turns out it was her excuse to sleep with some guy without "cheating on me." I didn't know that's why she was starting huge confrontations over and over, but then it all came out, and I said, "Oh no, your not moving back in again."

She got even though. She hasn't let my daughter and I talk to one another since, and I don't have a legal leg to stand on . . . so . . . yeah. I have not seen or talked to either of them in 5-1/2 years now. My daughter turned 14 last week. A few days after Father's day. :_(

I really miss her.

Still, I would do it all again, because that little girl got to have a dad for the 1st 9 years of her life, and she really made me look at the world through new eyes. She was so smart, and such an awesome kid. I hope she's okay. I get calls from collection agencies non stop looking for my ex, and it looks like she (my ex) has gotten a criminal record for two counts, though I don't know what because I don't have money to get the full report. She left the area about two years ago and moved 1,000 plus miles to the desert southwest, then to another are in the desert S.W., then to N. Carolina, then to Indiana, and it looms like now in the past few weeks to New York City. :_( It sucks.

Now, that IS negative, but yeah, it hurts, and IS depressing. Still, I take time to remember when my daughter learned to swing on the swing, because she trusted dad to help her, and when she finally got brave enough to climb up into to tubes way up high at the play-place we used to have at a near-by McDonald's, because dad told her she could do it, and because she believed in me when I said she'd be safe and wouldn't fall . . .

And when she learned to ride her bicycle for the first time without training wheels. THAT was a BIG ONE! I was SO PROUD OF HER! I always felt so honored that she always knew that if she was scared to do something, it was always me, dad, that she wanted to have help her.

That's common for kids, but still, I can't describe how that feels, and how humble it can make a person.

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