My mind is spinning out of control

[Discomagic9]

Things at work are slow right now which gives me too much time to think (well overthink really). I’ve been pressing hard since October and haven’t taken a vacation in about 2 years. I’ve been feeling burnt out and noticed I was making some silly mistakes at work.

But when people bring those up to me, I start to panic and spiral. Logically, I don’t think I’m at risk of losing my job or anything, but the fact that not everything is 100% instigates me to catastraphize to that extreme on an emotional level.

Does anyone else deal with this?

[Dolphin14]

Hi

Welcome to the community.

Maybe you do need a vacation if you feel like you are burning out. Can you schedule one

I read your profile. Issues in childhood remain with us forever. I pushed for perfection to never get called in anywhere. So I def know that tendency would lead me to fear and anxiety if I made a mistake and got called on it.

🐬

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome. Your post caught my attention with the word catastraphize as that is one of my specialties in life. Logic vs overthinking, a rabbit hole for sure that I can relate to, although usually things are not as bad as we believe them to be. Distractions and being outside helps me. Sounds like you are due for a vacation reset so hopefully you can take some time off work. Bell well!

[012703060610]

I am 43 and recently had a breakthrough with my therapist. My parents drove me to perfection and there wasn't anything I didn't participate in as a kid. Church activities, 4 sports a year, jobs, band, piano, debate, theater. Then I went to college and thought I should just work too as I seemed to be able to do a lot at once. I worked 4 jobs in college, not out of need, out of some inner voice saying you need to do more. My parents never loved me unconditionally. It was only under their conditions that I was able to receive their love. In adult life, they have backed away and been hurtful with decisions they didn't agree with. All of this drive towards perfectionism, only further fueled my actual career and parenting. I got burned out working 80 hours a week, got COVID in March 2020, and have lost all of my physical health. Two horrific autoimmune disorders and a stomach that cannot process food unless I get a stimulator put in. I have been confined and bed ridden nearly 3 years. SO...my long and ridiculous story is to agree and say that our childhood upbringing is a huge deal. Now that I realize these impacts on me, I parent differently. Well, I always said I would and did. Yes I want my kids to achieve, but I want them to achieve what they want, not what I may want. In the end, right before I resigned my job, we were in M/A mode and I don't remember not working for days on end. Burnout is REAL. I had convinced myself somewhere along the way that I was immune to burnout. I fully understand your thoughts of not being essentially perfect at work. You know you are probably the best at what you do....so any small mistake really hurts. I've been through it and I have needed a lot of counseling to unburden my own mind and retrain to think differently. Welcome! We are all works in progress.

[Discomagic9]

Thank you all for the comments and support!! Your suggestions have given me a lot to think about and I talked with my boss today about time, boundaries, and expectations. I’m also doing that with my spouse!

But in the meantime, it’s incredibly comforting to know I’m not alone!! It that I wish any of you this kind of anxiety, but it is reassuring in the sense that it allows me to combat that internal, abusive narrative that says “You’re just being lazy and weak.” I can reply, “No I’m not!”

[Celtic27]

Hi there you said it your self you think you over think things but the thing is people tend to remember our mistakes but try to ignore the bad things and things will improve if you think it is why not talk to you supervisor about if they can help you in anyway ! I wish you all the best and try to rest and even try some relaxation cds or even try you tube ! Take care 🙂

[Lve2dance]

First off Iove your profile pic and "name" 😁. I over think myself. It's definitely easy to get in your head when things are quiet.. Even when they are not. If you can even do a stay cation it may help a little.. We are here for you

[Pastor_of_Muppets]

Yeah, I hit some professional burnout too, and I've not totally recovered. My work is an enormous part of who I am, and my concept of self has consequently taken a beating too. Both of my parents worked in my profession and I've been doing it for over 18 years. I eat, sleep, and breathe it. I have it tattooed on my chest. It's not our weaknesses that get us in the end, it's our strengths. I'm a perfectionist and an over-thinker I suppose, and those same traits that make me a high achiever in my profession have ultimately not served me well in other areas of my life. They're really detrimental to my mental health.

If things start going poorly at work, and work is your whole life, then your whole life is going poorly. If you diversify your life and sense of self, there are always other things to fall back on, psychologically. Take a vacation, get some time away from work to let the other parts of yourself and your life grow. Try to find a better balance. (I haven't figured this all out on my own. Thank my cadre of mental health professionals)