Just found out why my daughter doesn’t want me around my grandson

[dee_bells]

This hurts and my daughter told my husband some time ago. He told me about an hour ago.

I have wrote about this 3 weeks ago in a post here.

Besides anxiety, BPD, ptsd and depression I am disabled with back disease and I feel like fainting. I believe it is my meds making me feel hot and feel like fainting.

My daughter told my husband that she doesn’t want her son around me because should I faint and what would Zachary do? Or if my my back goes out.

I always carry water or a drink with me. And that helps me a lot. I realize my limits.

We have a pool and it is good for my back. Zachary always wants to go swimming but she doesn’t bring him over. She doesn’t work, she stays at home and her fiancé supports them.

This breaks my heart. My husband told me to call my daughter and straighten it out. I told him to talk with her because she told him originally. My husband never has my back.

This is horrible.

[hypercat54]

Oh dear not good. Could she bring him over when your husband is there too? Maybe a compromise like this would help? You could also reassure her that you won't pick him up at all. Also tell her for the first few times it can be for a very short time and your daughter can stay as well. She sounds very worried that it would be too much for you as she doesn't really understand your illnesses. She just needs reassurance.

Could she be an over worried mother? You have been a mother of young children yourself so I presume you understand this.

I think with compromise and a bit of work you will be able to spend time with your lovely grandson.

One last thing - tell her it is important for children to know their grandparents as they can greatly add to their childhood. x

[dee_bells in reply to hypercat54]

I haven’t actually fainted but I feel like it after I’ve been on my feet for more than 45 minutes. So I don’t get out much. It hurts she never said anything to me. I’ve texted her—she hasn’t responded and I don’t want to call her because I don’t want to start crying on the phone.

[hypercat54 in reply to dee_bells]

Can you send her an email asking her about what I have suggested? If she doesn't respond then you can't do much else. Maybe she is worried about getting upset as well which is why she hasn't responded? x

[lovetodance2018]

I am sorry about your situation. Have you talked to your daughter that her decision hurts you? Have you explained to her about you understanding her concern, but that you would not be alone with your grandson, that she could be there for the visit, or that your husband could be there with you? If this persists and she doesn't allow you to see your grandchild, you might consider seeing a therapist for guidance. Here is a group that provides counselors online. bit.ly/2DS3v7S I will be praying for your situation. We have a situation in our family, where my husband and his sister hasn't talked for 22 years and the cousins have never met. It is always sad when family members don't understand how there choices hurts the rest of the family.