upset

[melbrown]

I was talking to my coworker today & she told me my manager has been discussing my mental health with her. My coworker knew about the issues with store last weekend, but my manager told her not to tell me because I would have a mental break down. That my meds need to be readjusted, implied I've had big break downs at the shop. My coworker was shocked, because she hasn't seen this behavior in me at all. I haven't had a break down in public in years. I do my job well, even when my anxiety & stress are high. I show up on time, clean, my meds haven't effected my ability to work, I don't abuse anything.... I'm upset, hurt, angry, feeling low... My husband says legally she can't talk about my mental health to other... ? And of course I get a text from my coworker basically saying she doesn't want to be involved... that she regrates telling me. I have talked to my manager or boss about it... wanted to process it & to do it from a calm mind.

[jkl5500]

Did you confront your manager with his/her claims that you have been unstable at work?

[Hidden]

I don’t know...not sure that I would necessarily believe everything your coworker said. There’s usually some embellishment of the story going on when something like that is retold. Maybe you should just ignore it and move on. It’s true that your boss shouldn’t be discussing your mental health with your coworker, but I would probably let it go. Do you really like your job? I’m hoping you find some peace!

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

It's a small store, just the 3 of us plus the 2 owners. The example of freak out she told her it was when it was manager, owner & I. We were busy, I was over welemed (still did my job), but needed a break. Boss said it was okay, sat in our stockroom for like 10 minutes & was fine. It wasn't a huge thing & my boss wasn't concern. Unfortunately this manager has a history of running her mouth, my boss relies on her a lot & isn't around much.I hate confrontation, so I normally stay quite. This one hurts... I work hard to control my anxiety & depression...I see my therapist Fri, hopefully she'll have some advice. Thank you.

[fauxartist]

you know Mel....this is one of those 'he said she said' situations that are hard to prove, and if this co-worker told you this and is now backing down, it's because they don't want to get in trouble with the boss for talking to you, because it's slander in the courts if the boss is making false accusations inappropriately about you directly to a co-worker and not to you. If you were written up for acting out at work, then that's different, but you were not. You are in a situation that if you brought this up to your boss, they can equally deny it because the co-worker does not want to get involved. I would say drop it for now and if anything is said directly to you by your boss...then go from there, and ask for any statements from them regarding your job performance be in writing.

[melbrown in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you Fauxarist. Was thinking same thing... maybe saying I'm handling the store news okay... My manager did say they were concerned about me to me... there has been a history of her crossing lines... Unfortunately she's basically best friends with owner, so it's often looked the other way. Most of time we get along fine & boss knows the jobs get done. This is my personal health information.... it hurts because it's like she makes it out like a nut job... part of the reason why we find it so hard to talk about it to others... I'm glad my coworker knows I'm not. I see my therapist Fri, glad about that & that I have a supportive husband. ... oh, and people here. 😊

[Hidden]

Shame on the both of them! Don't listen to that negativity...you are much better than that!!! I don't understand why people can be so mean! You my dear are fantastic!!! If you need to you could file for defamation of character! You are beautiful...perhaps the co-worker has some jealousy issues! Love & Hugs! XXX

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

😄 Oh, I love you anxiety_59 ❣ My manager is a real piece of work. You aren't the first person to suggest jealousy... sure she has things she could work on too (in her heart & head). Yes, I have anxiety & depression... but I'm working on me. There are hard days, but I try my best to not let it effect me. There are days when I want to stay in bed, sometimes I do... but that's okay. We all have our bad days. It's important that we still fight on. Today I'm going to live my life (though struggling).... niece's 1st birthday party & smile when I see my manager.... I will not this beat me down. Big hugs, my beautiful friend 💖

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

You know what they say .....you get a bear with honey..not vinegar! You can do this because you're a very strong lady! Plus I have faith in you that you can.. You go girl!!! Love for you my sweet sweet friend!!! XXX

[fauxartist]

It’s pretty common for a lot of us to internalize criticism and look inwardly for fault, however....this is not your fault because this person is being unprofessional and it's bad business all around to insight dissent between co-workers this way. It breaks down the unity needed to run a business smoothly....boss's friend or not....when it causes problems with employees to lose respect for confidence in management, eventually it can hurt sales, and that's when it would be addressed, money talks.