Depression

I feel like it’s getting worse no matter what I do. I have been forgotten by everyone.

[yoda18]

by proof that i am answering you

you are not forgotten if you need to vent you should even just to say you had a good day remember the small things that are still good

[Hidden in reply to yoda18]

Thank you. But good things don’t happen to me- if they do, they just appear that way and are just setting up for a bigger disappointment for me.

[yoda18 in reply to Hidden]

have you ever found a nikel?

have you ever been given a free sample of something at a store?

when you were in school did you ever get an A+ on anything ever?

did you find a comunity of people who all just want to help other people like them make it to tomorrow?

if the answer to 1 of these is yes than you are a bit wrong/ have a skewed veiw because good things do happen you just need to see things a little differently.

[Hidden in reply to yoda18]

But I’m tired of having to be content with the bare minimum. Everyone else I know has hardships too, but they have great things happen to balance it out. I know it seems negative and it probably is- but it never made sense to me why I should be thankful for a drop of rain in the desert when people around me have a whole lake and have people around them giving them water. Then they look at me with judgement saying I need to be thankful because it could be worse.

[yoda18 in reply to Hidden]

i never said that you should be content with the bare minimum. but you must have family who can help or a coworker you trust or just a friend and open the flood gates even online

[Hidden in reply to yoda18]

But the things that are good that happen in my life... that’s what I mean. And I have no one who really cares. I just don’t have it in me anymore to be happy over finding a nickel when I am constantly getting bad things thrown at me and everyone else is having great things happen then either throw me away or give me grief for not being content with my nickel. That’s what I mean. sorry :(. Those things used to be enough for me bc I kept hoping things would eventually happen for me, but after decades of that, I can’t do it anymore...

[yoda18 in reply to Hidden]

can you try elaborating more on bad things sorry if sensitive subject but i want to try and understand please

[Hidden in reply to yoda18]

Thanks. Ya... well i think everything from all of the people I thought of as my best friends all became closer friends with each other when I introduced people from my different groups in college, every guy I had a crush on/ was talking to met my friends and then asked me for their numbers (ever single guy), eventually my friends all stabbed me in the back and got housing with each other and I was left to fend for myself in a place with highly competitive rental environment (told me on the day my grandma died and I came back from the memorial), then eventually my new friends met other new friends and the cycle happened again. All my guy friends stopped talking to me after college once they started dating/ living with women. Graduated in winter of 2008 and the economical mess. Was unemployed for almost a year. Moved home. There’s more... basically nothing has improved in these 10 years. The only changes are that I have (somehow) even less friends and more expenses.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And I was also sexually assaulted by a friend of a friend

[yoda18 in reply to Hidden]

i am so sorry i dont know how to help with that but I recomend trying meetup or bumble to meet new friends i wish i could help but the only peice of advice i have left to give is " always forward never back" keep moving forward and try to move on i wish i could be more helpful but please keep posting updates i hope you get better

[Hidden in reply to yoda18]

Thank you I appreciate it

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Shades, I am so truly sorry this happened to you but I better understand why all

the bitterness and negativity you carry with you. We are not professional therapists. I think it could help for you to see one and get down to the root of your issues. You've been hurt both emotionally and physically and will not be able to move forward until this is addressed.

Continue coming on the forum at least for the support and caring this group can give you. You sound very lonely. We can help fill that void. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I’m really sorry. I won’t post anymore. Sorry

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Shades, my comment was not to push you away but to know that I care enough about the people I respond to. You are hurting bad and need more than we can give. There is no simple answer to some of life's questions. My heart goes out to you. I want you to be safe and find your way to some happiness. You deserve it. xx

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Everyone else has GREAT things- who is everyone???

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Literally everyone I know.

[Hidden]

I still have never had a boyfriend, ever.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Lots of people have not. DO you have family, friends, a job a roof over your head, food??? Then you're ahead of the game!

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I can’t afford a roof over my head and barely food. I have no friends. I know my concerns seem petty and stupid to you, but they are a big deal to me and I feel heartbreak every day over it. All I want to have is love in my life.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

You want love in your life, and say you have never had a boyfriend- but you also assumed I thought your concerns were petty and stupid. Are you kidding? You assumed wrong. You wrote about the crash of 08 and how it affected you after college. It sounds like you are down mainly due to economic reasons among others. Believe me, I KNOW about the crash of 08 and really what happened even before that. This affected many senior citizens , and people all over the globe. In fact I think that it is responsible for the rise in anxiety and depression and that would make sense. Remember we are not therapists here- but we also share concerns as applicable. I am sorry for your pain and hope that things get better for you.