Just joined!

[I_can_do_it]

I'm 26. I was abused a lot in my life and I'm suicidal because of it. I have Lupus and one of the worst symptoms of it is liver or kidney failure. So I started drinking heavily within the last two years so that I would die someday. Thankfully, I've been taking anti-depressants since October of 2017, and I'm having fewer days of me feeling suicidal. I drank a lot yesterday because I was sad, and I felt so poor today because of the hangover. I called the suicide hotline tonight because I wanted to tell someone that I want to stop drinking on the days when I'm sad so that I can get healthier because, for today, I don't want to die. She suggested looking up some new ways of coping with sadness and flashbacks, so when we got off of the phone, I did a google search and found ADAA online support group. I joined this support group so I can have somewhere to go when I get sad instead of laying in bed or drinking. I think it will help me achieve my goals to stop drinking and to have seven days without having suicidal thoughts. Just filling out my profile and reading other people's posts on here tonight has made me feel better. I think I'm taking a step in the right direction.

[Lyn842]

I am so glad you found us. I am new here and have found this to be a very caring and active group. Please do turn to us instead of drinking. That is not going to help you get better. Life sure can be hard and painful to endure but it will not always be that way. Be thankful for every good day. Hopefully you will find comfort and strength here. Welcome!

[Hidden]

Hang in there, friend.

[Hidden]

I was abused a lot too. Also have Epstein-Barr Virus, which is similar to Lupus. I'm 32. Did you know that diseases like mine and yours are ACTUALLY the worst forms the effects of abuse can take on you? I was raised in Ritual Cult Abuse. Was starved and beaten and my parents were religious fanatics. You and I had Toxic caregivers. And feeling suicidal is a normal symptom of what we have been through but it is not the way to go. The pain we experienced in our childhood continues to haunt us as adults. It will always affect you but it becomes manageable, I cannot say that it will go away, but it CAN get better!! I am here for you to message anytime! I know what issues abuse can cause. I may be able to help you. I'm going to recommend a book for you called "Adult Children of Abusive Parents" by Steven Farmer. I also recommend that you visit this site: dovechristiancounseling.com...

I hope this helps you and remember that I am here anytime! I am open-minded and will never judge you. ; )

[b1b1b1]

You can also try Alcoholics Anonymous. I am NOT suggesting that you are an alcoholic, but I think that group can help people who have any issues around drinking. Also, would you be able to start therapy. You do have a lot to deal with. In addition I think there are Lupus support groups , which could be of help. xxxxx

[anxiouswidow]

Hello there! My mom has Lupus so I don’t know how you feel but I do watch someone close to me go through it and I pray you are able to get symptoms under control. I know it is a tricky disorder and you need a great team of people you trust to help you through it. I’m glad you are here on this forum and I would also look for lupus support groups. I know my mom was in a few.

Prayers to you!

[Hidden]

Hey welcome!! So glad you found us ❣

I’m so sorry to hear about your problems..

On here you’ll find so many caring and beautiful hearts to listen to your every word.. and loads of wise advice if you want it x also you’ll be surprised how many people have similar problems x

I hope it helps you

Message any time xx take care

[IChoose]

I have a relative with lupus who has also had guillan Barre and suffers extreme spinal pain. Yes, there has been tremendous abuse in that person's life. I hope it helps the whole group to know you're not alone. Congratulations on your taking positive steps that work for you. See how courageous you are! Better is better!

[reinagrace]

Hi I_can_do_it I'll be praying for your healing . Yes it is a hard road- i am 3 years sober now- i used to heavily abuse prescription pills (xanax, ambien, pain pills) for years. i would go to diff. doctors and pharmacies behind all their backs so i was taking way over what someone would take, just so i could numb myself and be asleep all day. Online support can help but also live support groups, where you can meet other people in the recovery process. Also have battled suicidal depression most my life. I'm glad the antidepressants have taken the edge off for you, and have given some relief. I hope you are also in counseling to process all the past abuse? Yes you are going in right direction and I pray you continue to feel better.

[Hidden]

Just checking in. I saw your post on the side an took time to read. We have some similarities. I was wondering how you are today.... M