I am suicidal I think about how hard it gets for me everyday I always want to die because I'm so lonely and I feel no one wants to be around me or likes me I hate my life I come from an abusive home life and my bf I got into a relationship with I fell in love with we had sex and we talked about marrying each other however I may be dealing with anxiety and depression and he couldn't handle it and finally left after I felt like I pushed him away now he's not here and I'm completely devestated I just want him back and it's killing me. I feel like I can't breathe. It hurts so bad I want him back. He told me I needed help. And then now he's gone and it just sucks so bad. He also took my virginity and it just is so horrible this situation he left after taking my virginity and having sex with me a couple times after that I've never felt so used in my entire life I feel he used me and took advantage of me. My abusive family life my dad is psycho religious controlling and it's too much for me to get out of the controlling relationship with my dad so I might as well just let him control my life. Because it's so hard to get out from his control. I might as well not even try and I'm so tired emotionally and physically and mentally that I don't want to do anything except just sleep a lot of the time. Because that feels like my only escape from my reality. I just feel my life has fallen apart and I don't even want to bother trying to clean up the mess. My bf gave up on me my life has fallen apart I'm so depressed and hurt and just want to give up so bad. I'm so alone I have experienced so much rejection and people leaving my life it hurts so bad. I hate being alone. I hate it so much. Yet nobody wants to be around me it feels like.