Negative

[V-person]

So, everything I do or say is mean or belittling when I try and speak the truth. I know I have room for improvement in areas. I just feel like the areas in which my spouse wants improvement with me is to be superwoman. The house to always be spotless every inch of it. Our child to look good every day and act perfect(which is not quite 2), for me to make him feel like a perfect king and to always have his work clothes/stuff ready for him every day no matter what. He says one thing but doesn't really mean it cause then blows up later cause it's not done. I just dont know how I can ever feel good enough around so much negativity. I feel like my only option is to move on but I fear for my child's future.

[hypercat54]

Hi this is nothing about you and says everything about him. He is the one with the problem. Tell him if he wants to live in a show home then he will have to help around the house.

I would stop doing everything for him as some people the more you do the more they expect you to do and they are never satisfied. If he wants to be a perfectionist that's up to him but he can't expect you to jump to his commands. Does he think he is a god or something? What a cheek.

Are you sure this is a healthy environment for your child to grow up in? x

[V-person in reply to hypercat54]

No, but I dont have a choice right at this time. I will find a better way I just have to stay strong right now, so I can make this better.

[purple13 in reply to V-person]

You need to stay strong and find resources for yourself and your child. It sounds like you are doing everything you can and it's not enough nor is it healthy for you. It sounds like you are in a very stressful place right now. This may sound glib, but it can and does get better, if you take care of you!

[Southernchick in reply to V-person]

Choices are hard. You made a choice to stay. Not belittling you in any way. Just do something to make a different choice.

[Southernchick in reply to hypercat54]

Well said

[Marshall64]

I'm not one to advocate violence, but have you ever consider bitchslapping him?

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

He calls himself a man when he has to belittle his wife. He doesn’t know what a real man is. If he was half of a man he would give credit to his wife who provides the environment for him to succeed at life. See how well he does if she stopped doing things for him.

[V-person in reply to Marshall64]

That would end poorly, I'm 5'5" and my spouse is 6'3". I could never, I want to keep my face the way it is.

[Marshall64 in reply to V-person]

I'm sorry, I was being facetious.

[Southernchick in reply to Marshall64]

We're all sorry but it just seems like it might be a wake up call for him. Your statement makes me wonder if your afraid of him and if he's been physically abusive also

[Southernchick]

Girl you aren't alone in your situation.

Since you haven't gotten to the place you can leave and start a happy future with your daughter. First do you love him? That's a big factor in whether you stay or go.

Is it possible he would go to counseling?

Start keeping a journal. Mental abuse is horrible.

Set a goal. Make some plans.

There's one thing for certain. No happy childhood for your child without a happy Mommy.

[maaslider]

Good comments here I agree with. It’s difficult since I don’t know your background but despite that you can move on and get free of this abusive and unrealistic, unreasonable man who should be showing you much appreciation instead of what he’s doing now. It might take a little time but look into community resources, talk to someone to evaluate your job potentials or what you might need to get to a point to can move on and be ok financially- he will pay support on top of that. This is such a terrible situation you are in and your baby and I’m so sorry he runs your life and is disrespectful and has distorted expectations. I think the best for your baby is NOT to grow up watching his father and learning/watching his behavior and thinking this is how to treat a woman. You and he/she deserves better! Stay strong and keep focused on how to move on before it becomes physical- I truly hope it hasn’t come to that! And why can’t he iron or help at all? I’ve never dated anyone, including my husband who couldn’t and did w/o question- ironed their clothes, able to cook, care for their kids, wash clothes etc...I can’t imagine your situation. You are stronger than you may realize, deserve better and keep us posted please on your situation- hope to hear about progress... I wish you continued strength, courage and some resolution and don’t forget to take care of yourself to stay strong and committed to change! You can do this or anything else you want, we have no real limitations beyond ourselves! M

[Flaweddesign]

I know how you feel, my husband is same way, even though he start making loud noises with dishes or yell out loud is he thinks house is not to his standard. He wants me to act like house wife but he forgets his wife who works 10 hours a day, full time college can be tired sometimes. I know it is frustrating, your spouse should be more understanding.