Alright so this is my first post on here, I have been reading people’s post and have found some eye opening understanding that I am not alone or lost but maybe just misguided on my adventure of life. It’s been about two weeks now of me basically just trying to be normal but actually I have been depressed and my anxiety has been at a record high. It’s actually effecting my health and I have reached out for answers from support that my employer offers but I honestly hate speaking to people who are not experiencing what I am, listening to the same feeling conversations and thought processes. I don’t know why I am lost right now. I have not had a loved one pass on or anything traumatic happen... I have lived my last two years basically pushing myself away because I used to be a very strong alcoholic that used booze to answer the questions I didn’t know i as asking... I got a DUI and everything changed... I stopped wanting to go to bars because I saw what it did to me and my family when I had to call from a detox center saying I was arrested. I never got to talk about why or how I got to this place in my life but now I am finding that I don’t have friends or anybody to confide i because I pushed most away with staying clean from booze... how does an introvert find a friend when all he wants to do is stay away? How can I change the way I have created my life now to be better and enjoy friendships when I don’t know if it’s something that I might lose control in again... this is just the tip of my ice burg but it’s the one thing I have been revisiting and would like some advice or maybe just personal stories on how others who have experienced this or have meet someone who did overcame the lonely existence when they want so much more...
Shattered Directions: Alright so this... - Anxiety and Depre...
Shattered Directions
Did you get any addiction counseling when you quit alcohol? Congratulations on quitting.
No because I was firm that I didn’t have a problem... a year into being sober I realized how much better my life had become and realized looking back how many relationships I had ruined due to my “fun” nights out...
You didn’t address the underlying cause for your addiction. The feelings you were numbing with alcohol are resurfacing. By pushing people away you don’t have to appear vulnerable and admit that you have pain.
It’s not that... it’s the fact that with booze I had “friends” and people who wanted to hang with me because they liked me better when i was drunk. Sober me is not as much fun... I pushed people away because of comments like that, it made me realize I had friends of circumstance and to assist me in my numbing adventure but now I am alone, don’t have any good people to lean on and talk with and it’s making me really upset actually. I thought growing up I would have maybe one or two good people I could call or text and chat with but these days I just don’t have anybody. The real reason why I was drinking was it was easier in my early 20’s to drink and laugh and not care but now I realize that all I did was push the pause button and now I need to try and mend those issues which I have been doing but this path I am on of creating a better me is really damn hard alone.
And yes you are completely right when i was drunk I was on a different playing field I was not the depressed and sad vulnerable people I was when I ordered the first drink. But pushing alcohol on issues only allows them to fester and grow...
I am sorry. I apologize. I am in over my head.
No you are not! A conversation is all I was asking for and the questions you asked gave me the path to the answers I have given. I may be down and out but having someone ask questions like that is great in my opinion. Thank you
Oh ok. I am in the depths of a bad depression myself so it makes me second guess myself. That’s my point. You need to learn a healthy way to cope with your depression now that you are sober. Before you self medicated. If you had counseling while you were getting sober they would have given you the tools you need to cope. So you don’t return to drinking again. The mind likes to revert back to what it knows.
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