Help Depression is back again

[Chillybird]

Hi I am back. I needed to chill for a few days but now it seems the depression is once again knocking back at my door. I did lose a few pounds which didn't really make me as happy as I thought it would be. Then there is my husband that has heart and leg problems which we ended up in the hospital yesterday. This freaked me right out and I had to calm down and compose myself. I was trying so hard not to be freaking out in front of my husband when I had to call 911. He did come home the same day and is doing much better. But it is so hard because I have to do everything in the house on my own and I wish I could take his problems away from him so he feels better. I guess that is why I am depressed. Its not easy trying to do everything for him when I just want to take it easy too. My work is never done.

[musiclove10]

Maybe try to stop putting so much pressure on yourself and let things flow, i am sorry about your husband and prayers are being sent to the both of you, but try to first think to yourself what it is you want to feel and how you can start by feeling that way...

[Chillybird in reply to musiclove10]

Thank you and yes I agree I need to check on my feelings and see what I need most.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for opening up and sharing. I am sorry you are struggling. It is so frustrating when you feel overwhelmed and push yourself while dealing with depression. The problem the more you push yourself during depression the worse you feel. Have you shared with your doctor that you are struggling again? Have you or are you on medication for your depression? Do you have a counselor or therapist? All these things are necessary to feeling better. I am also so sorry to hear about your husband's heart and leg. Right now you are not feeling well, but focus on the fact that you will feel better. Give yourself a break and don't be so hard on yourself. Depression is a real disease, so don't feel like you have caused it. Also, you may just have to let some things go until this depressive episode passes. For me I have struggled on and off for over 20 years with depressive episodes. I know they are chemical and usually appear around my menstrual. So during those times, I accept I am not feeling well, give myself a break, allow myself to not push too hard, and remind myself this is temporary and I will feel better. I try to keep my thoughts on God and feeling well, not on how I am currently feeling. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat. I understand the struggle with reoccurring depressive episodes. Our mind is a powerful thing and if we learn to give ourselves a break, do what is good for us at the moment and not push, it does help us feel better. Giving myself permission to not feel well was huge on my healing process. Hugs and God Bless

[Chillybird in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you for responding and the words of encouragement. They mean alot to me. I am glad your depression is under control and that you are doing better. I did see a therapist put really didnt help much. I was looking for a support group and when I saw this sight I was glad to join and that I am not alone and that the insight of others could help me out.

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Chillybird]

I agree when you can share and get things off of your chest, you start to feel better. That is why I appreciate having this group to share and also read posts. It helps me know I am not alone and there are others who struggle and can relate. I am sorry you didn't feel therapy was helping. How many times did you go? It takes time to find the right person you feel opening up to. Just know you can pm me anytime if you'd like to chat. You continue to be in my prayers. Hugs

[Chillybird in reply to lovetodance2018]

I went to therapy twice a week for a while then once a week to once a month because my insurances was only covering so many a month and then my insurance changed causing it to not cover any more visits. It helped a little but I have more issues than the depression. I also have low self confidence and was mentally abused in my first marriage.

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Chillybird]

I am sorry to hear about your low self-esteem issues. Being secure in our-self is so important, however, it takes practice and encouragement. I have a technique that works for me, when I am about to say a put down about myself... I say NO immediately to remind me it is not true, and instead say something uplifting about myself. I am important, I matter, I am strong, what I do and say have value. Trying to make this a daily routine has been huge in loving who I am and not letting others comments affect me as much. I still have to work on it from time to time, but that technique really helped me. Anytime you wan to chat feel free to reach out. I will continue to be praying for you. Hugs

[Chillybird in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you so much and I qill have to try to say NO for put downs on myself and say positive words instead.