I am not sure

[Flaweddesign]

I started and restarted this post maybe 7 or 8 times now. I am not sure what to do. I feel I am being judged by others at my workplace, I can't even talk it out with my husband since he thinks I'm over thinking and over reacting. I don't even remember what it feels like to be normal. I still laugh and enjoy things so I feel that maybe I'm not that bad. I keep being reminded by my family and others around me, that there are people who are going through something much worse than I am, which makes it even harder for me to share since I don't want people judging me. Feeling so helpless and I cant cry since I am at work. Yet I'm hoping someone understands how I am feeling.

[Agora1]

I do understand the confused lonely feeling Flaweddesign You are not alone in holding back the tears. You know that on this forum, you are never judged for what you say or think. It is your safe place to come to when you are hurting emotionally. I care, we care xx

[Flaweddesign in reply to Agora1]

Thank you.

[KimmieV in reply to Flaweddesign]

I felt that way at work too. I was very paranoid that everyone was talking about me or were out to get me. It overwhelmed me and I quit. Yes it's true that others may have it worse but when you feel depressed it does feel like the bottom of the barrel. I force myself to think of a few things I'm thankful for. No matter how big or small, it helps boost my emotions! Good luck!

[Flaweddesign in reply to KimmieV]

Thank you for that. I do have some paranoid people are saying things sometimes. Every look I get I keep thinking they are saying I'm fat or I'm annoying or something that probably isn't true. I'll keep trying to think positive thought.

[Rpan]

Certainly people judge you, it likely people admire you and have strong loving feelings towards you, you see that is judgement too. How we react often is very different with how people view us. Ask people close to you, at work, how they view you you. Let yourself be venerable and really listen to the responses. This may help you to move towards some level of comfort. Certainly don’t really on someone’s experience that you don’t feel fond towards. I write this to you in hopes that I may do the same!!

[Flaweddesign in reply to Rpan]

Thank you, i been trying to get out of my comfort zone but in the end I end up isolated... Everyone known each other so long...but I am trying to have better conversatios.

[Dubba61]

Hello, Flaweddesign, you won't be judged here. People are kind and understanding. Yes, i know how it feels to feel judged in the workplace. You feel alienated and that's not nice. Best of wishes to you. 😊✌️🌻

[Flaweddesign in reply to Dubba61]

Apparently I come off stuck up? As soon as someone said that it made me wanna crawl into a hole and disappear. Thank you for caring and responding. I really appreciate it.

[Hidden]

Sending caring wishes to you.

I have fears of people judging me, it’s awful.

I so wish we didn’t care what people thought, because realistically it’s not important, wish my mind would realise that ...

🌷 xx

[Flaweddesign in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing, its nice to know I'm not the only one. I avoid conversations, which I am trying to change but it's hard coming up with words. This support group makes me realize I want to help and seek help.

[Hidden in reply to Flaweddesign]

yes, certainly seek out all the help, I do, I go on therapy sessions and whatever is available to help and to learn about why and how I feel this way. It was a surprise to me when I was diagnosed with social anxiety as one of the anxieties ..Best wishes

[Dubba61]

Anytime, Flaw, it's difficult, i know but, try not to read to much into it. Some people are thoughtless n maybe they were having a bad day and were feeling intolerant. N just wanted a little dig at someone. It isn't fair but that's how some folk are. You have the moral high ground because obviously you aren't that petty. Let that comfort you.you are the bigger person. 😊🌻✌️

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry your feeling judged and are going through all this....one line in your post just put up all my red flags...'there are people who are going through something much worse than I am'.... man...I have heard that dismissive crap all my life... don't ever take that on board again...take your power back.... let your family or friends know when they say things like that it makes you feel worse... and that your pain deserves validation... and you would appreciate not hearing those kinds of comments if they cannot be compassionate and understanding, then say nothing at all. Let them know they could at least tell you they love you no matter what, and do care about what your struggling with. But often for many here that would only happen in a perfect world. I would strongly recommend surrounding yourself with people who do understand where your coming from....people here do...there are therapy groups ... and other sites that people can safely share without being judged or told stupid comments....your safe here...glad your sharing.

[Flaweddesign in reply to fauxartist]

I almost cried when I read your reply. Thank you. I feel little more comforted. Thank you. I been feeling like what I was going through didnt matter. I really appreciate what you said.

[hypercat54 in reply to Flaweddesign]

Hi what faux has done is validate your feelings. We should never diss someones feelings or tell them they shouldn't feel like this. If you are feeling something it is valid for you and never let anyone tell you otherwise. x

[Flaweddesign in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you. I do feel little better more I talk and not feel judged and being heard.

[Hidden]

I'm new here too and your post gave me the courage to write a post. I understand how it feels, my family thinks I'm lying and just being dramatic.

[Flaweddesign in reply to Hidden]

I am so glad, as I am being helped I made someone feel comfortable. That's great! It's nice meeting you.

[Rpan]

Sorry for the late reply, we are having terrible storms here and just had to cut up a downed tree, well I just cut up part of it across my driveway. So being told you act “stuck up” that is a great observation. I’m sure that you don’t view yourself that way, but likely this is a defense mechanism that you portray out in the workplace. This will put others in a defensive posture towards you when they feel you are being”stuck up” I really believe that we can change these sort of things. I’m not saying in any way that you are “stuck up” it’s just how you are being viewed. We can certainly judge the person that relieved this to you. That is not our place. I think you can change this at work quickly. Maybe you can pick up donuts or bagels when you go to work for others or maybe bake a cake to share ( that’s really cheep) being snacks to share at break time, or leave something next to the coffee pot..the point is to start changing how others view you at work. These things don’t require conversations but can really shift how others view you. I have learned when we give little thoughtful things at work the environment looks really different for us.

[Flaweddesign in reply to Rpan]

Well odd thing is I do bring snacks ive even had a conversation with her, however when i see someone approach me I often don't say anything because I guess i convinced myself that they dont want me to bother them. All the friendship ive ever had I am terrified of saying the wrong thing that I always wait till they say something to me. I am working on saying hi but it still terrifies me, even more odd is that when I am in a group, I like being the fly on the wall so I never tried to start conversation. Once I get to know someone though, I cant shut up.

[Rpan]

What I’m hearing is that you are shy. It takes you some time to open up. That is not a moral dilemma. It’s perfectly normal to feel shy, I’m shy also. It’s a self esteem thing for me. I have been dealing with this same issue for a long time. When I’m feeling this way I beat myself up, the inner turmoil gets out of control leading to anxiety/depression. I’m learning how I speak to myself when I’m socially “shy” is the key for me. It’s like a punish myself for being shy and lacking self esteem. I’m wondering if any of this pertains to what’s happening to you

[Flaweddesign in reply to Rpan]

Well maybe you right, I am not sure, I just start crying for no reason at work and home....i cant explain but I feel empty and sad inside. anyways thank you for your input. Maybe my shyness is isolating me....i cant tell, ive been trying to be social. When my husband told me don't embarrass him in front of his family, and my dad tells me life is not fair, can't seem to have confidence to start conversation.

[KimmieV in reply to Flaweddesign]

Your dad and husband need to educate themselves. I was able to bring my husband to a therapy session and it helped alot!

[Flaweddesign in reply to Rpan]

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm making excuses again, that's not my intend, I need to really evaluate how I act maybe theres nothing wrong with me.

[Starrlight]

I can understand feeling like being judged and trouble having family understand. Im sorry to hear you feel a sadness and emptiness. I wish for you better brighter amazing days ahead for you.

[Flaweddesign in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you. I wish you the same

[Starrlight in reply to Flaweddesign]

💕

[Rpan]

Those things are hurtful, I don’t feel like you are making excuses. It’s possible that both of those circumstances are just triggers that lead you to the same feelings. Try catching the thoughts, try to focus on how you are talking to yourself when others let you down. It’s likely that all of this is tied together. The work stuff, your husband and conversations with your dad all make you feel the same way. When you get upset it’s likely for a reason. Your job is to try to interrupt these times. For me is about the thoughts that lead to the feelings. I write down the negative thoughts, it helps me to catch the traps. After doing that for a while I was able to separate these thoughts. I found there was a common theme. It lead me back to the feelings of “I can’t,you shouldn’t” there was always a constant. It all felt like some sort of punishment. I’m learning now that I don’t have to punish myself. I’m sharing with you my experience, it doesn’t have to be your experience as I often feel as though I relate when in fact I may not. Anxiety/depression rob us of confidence and that is part of it. It really is nice talking to you.

[Flaweddesign in reply to Rpan]

Thank you and thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts.