Lost

ok I came to this site to hopefully, get some thoughts from strangers as I am having a very hard time since my ex husband/ life partner died in March. He had always made the decisions concerning this house. I was the worker since he turned 50, as he had degenerative disc disease. Our kids were young, 7 and 8 yrs old. Then he went to prison, again I busted my ass struggling to support us, keeping a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I worked as a waitress so you all should realize how hard that work is. Now, today, I am 67 yrs old and stuck. He had no insurance, our Son put up a gofundme page to raise money for cremation. and to help with some of the household bills. I get Social Security and I work about 25-30 hrs a week at a grocery store near where I live. I have an older Son, he's 48, from my first marriage, who is trying to help me get some of the needed repairs done. Lee is a first rate asshole, and he is disrespectful to me. So what I am asking is do I just give up on the house and try to find a cheap apt. or stay and put up with my asshole kid?

[CazO46]

Hi, I'm sorry for you loss, it's hard losing a partner and you obviously have other problems on top of that. From what you say in your post you have worked hard to keep everything going for your family all those years and I imagine you are a strong and tenacious woman. Regarding your son, I take you have had a difficult relationship with him for a while? It sounds as though he is trying to help but does it come with strings attached? I am perhaps too naive and optimistic but could this be an opportunity for the two of you to try and work out some differences ? Even though you are unhappy with his behaviour he does seem willing to help. People usually only behave badly when they are pain themselves, happy people tend not be a**holes. Just a thought? It's a different one about the apartment, you could move and make a fresh start or see if bridges can be built with your son and stay where you are. I wish you all the best.

[jkl5500]

If you're looking for opinions, here's mine:

Lots of seniors move into a smaller dwelling during their retirement years. If you sold the house, you lose all the headaches of keeping the place up, plus you get some cash from the sale (which I'm sure you could use). You won't have to hire your difficult kid to do anything, and your life will be a lot simpler.

I vote for the apartment.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

House isn't up to city code, I did get a note card from We Buy Ugly Houses, and I don't think they would offer enough to pay off the mortgage.