Body anxiety

[lovedogs51511]

I'm going to fight thru the anxiety and try to go for walk this morning. I just get this huge rush of anxiety all over and end up coming back home. I hate that cause I love going for walks. I've got to fight thru it or ill never leave my home like I've always done. I'm working hard on losing weight so far so good due to smoking really instead of eating. Lost 25 pounds already but really need to get another 15 off. That will still leave me overweight but it sure would be nice to get some of the weight off. My face is so saggy due to the smoking 30 years but damage is done so I have to learn how to deal with it. Ugh!!! Anyhoo, hope you all are doing great!!😀😎

[Hidden]

Hi lovedogs.

Sounds like you’ve been working real hard, well done , it’s not easy to achieve what you have.

I love walks too and can feel same as you and have to suddenly get back home...it’s a pain.

I hope you have a lovely peaceful walk.

Best wishes 🌼 xx

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Oh thanks for your kind words!! Yeah I'm already telling myself your to ugly, fat and a disgusting sight so you don't deserve to go outside. When ppl look at me that's what I feel and hurry back home! I keep telling myself why do I care what they think. Its very,tough. Thanks for your message😀

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Same here. I hide behind sun glasses a lot 😎

And don’t want to see anyone I may know.

I guess in all honesty most people don’t even notice us...but it’s hard to realise certain things, our minds are very clever at convincing us.

You are not alone.

Hope you get for that walk, it will be so good for your well being....

Understand how difficult it is...

🌷🌷 x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Oh thank you. Yeah I agree the mind is so difficult to shut off. Like you I should buy something to cover my face. Its so nice knowing your not alone. I try and tell myself maybe they have anxiety too. Maybe their having tough time with,it too. Anything to fight it. Ppl here are super healthy and really into fitness here in utah. Lots of folks trying to get fit for the iron man competitions. 80 year olds riding bikes too! So being overweight is bad and hard to deal with. All I can do is try really hard. One day at a time. I'm glad to hear that your getting out and that's wonderful. Thanks for your advice!!😀😎

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

I just bought a big sun hat too 😊

Take it one day at a time. Keeping healthy is difficult for people without the challenges we face, try not to be hard on yourself,

Easier said I know..

Sending vibes for strength for you.

🌺 x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I just went for a 15 minute walk and I was almost shaking I was so nervous and scared! I did my hardest to just stare at the ground and tell myself over and over I don't care what they think I don't care what they think! I look like a freak and monster but I don't know how to not care and just care about what makes me happy! So upset. Thanks for your message. It really helps a lot.😎😀

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Well done for going. It’s so difficult, it can get easier. Keep the hope and we will get there xx

[Starrlight]

I remind myself like you say Olivia that people aren’t typically noticing us but I still feel exposed. Venturing out to walk kids to school soon. Lovedog I can relate I ask myself why do I care what someone might think I don’t know what I get so afraid of. Sometimes it’s even hard to look up while walking when having a time of feeling unsure of myself.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Exactly why do any of us care what other ppl think. Its ridiculous. Glad your going for a walk. So awesome!!😀

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

🌷🌷xx

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

🌷🌷 xx

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Hiya! Just went for 15 minutes but seemed like it was longer. I was about shaking I was so nervous and scared. Like you said I just looked down. Kept repeating I don't care I don't care what they think. Still had to come back cause I was so freaked out. God this misery isn't ever going to go away. The racing negative self talk says your a freak and look like a monster go home so you stop freaking ppl out. Isn't that terrible? I don't know what to do!! Sorry for rambling I'm just having hard day. Have a great day starlight!!!😀😎

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Try saying affirmations like “I am beautiful” I am strong” “I am confident now”.

15 minutes is a good chunk of time for getting out in my book. On my runs I usually do about that amount of time.

I am hoping your day gets easier. 💕

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you starrlight!! Your awesome!!! Running wow I wish I could! That's great! I was trying affirmations but I take a little mirror with me to keep checking my face and if I don't have it I get more anxious and paranoid. Sux. I have that body dsymorphic disorder. Its worse than anxiety. I just got an appt with my first Dr here on the 10th. I'm going to beg him for Ritalin for ADHD and ativan for sleep and the anxiety. God I pray,that will help. How's your day going?

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

You are such a sweet person. And strong.

What do you check your face for? I find I need to check parts of me too for fear they are falling apart.

Dsymorphic disorder I am so sorry to hear that you struggle with it. ((((((((((Lovedogs))))))))))))

So glad you set up an appointment my friend. I hope she/he prescribes what will work for you. There is DNA testing where the psychiatrist can look at the mouth swab test and tell which meds would be right for a person. Maybe ask if that is avalible.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

My day is okay. I just practiced some deep breathing and am out in the sun 🌞 trying to be mindful in the present moment. Thanks for asking!!!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Out in the sun sounds good. Where do you live? Its cold here today in st george utah. I'm happy to hear your doing great!!!😄

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Oh your a dear starrlight!!! Check the mirror to see how ugly I am and if I get way to ugly to be outside. The damage from smoking is horrendous. I've got double severe sagging skin on each side of my mouth and wrinkles on half my upper lip! Its humiliating!😥😭I just want to die its so bad. Yet I'm still smoking. What is my problem?? My life is over! I've never heard of the mouth swab to get you on the right meds. That sounds really interesting! Wow technology these days! The BDD is harder to deal with than the severe anxiety. I just feel hopeless today. Thank you for talking to me your the awesome one😀😀😎😎

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

You look good to me! I think sometimes we notice and amplify what we see and are too harsh on ourselves. I’m 41 so I am seeing some effects of aging too but I know I tend to be a perfectionist so I have to come to terms with getting older for peace.

Smoking is a difficult addiction to kick!!! Nothing is wrong with you.

I’m sooooo sorry you are feeling hopeless i know I sometimes feel I want to die too when some things get overwhelming. I try to focus on being more well than sick and what I can do for myself to feel better. What would help you today do you think?

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Trust me I look like a freak! That pic was after a good tan and I'm smiling so the sagging won't show. Plus I look into the sun if taking a pic. That only turned out ok due to the sunlight and tan. Every pic I take scares me to death!!! I have to like you and just try my hardest to come to terms with the sagging skin but its that bad and hard to accept. 5 years from now it will be worse! Smoking has been the hardest to quit. I feel like I'm never going to quit. I smoked more on the patch. Smoked on Chantix for 3 years, etc. Hopeless! Like you said try and think about getting well and not worse. Your so cool and have the best advice! I'm grateful I met you!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hope to talk to you again in a bit. I'm so exhausted and feeling sick from the coffee and sleeping pills I've taken since 1 am. I'm a basket case!! As you can see! Praying to fall asleep to get a break from my thoughts! Hugs starrlight! Your a great friend and I thank you for all the time you've given me😀😀😀😀 I'm here if you ever need to chat ok.

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

I believe in ya! I believe you can quit when you’re ready.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are beautiful inside and out.

I like talking with you and glad to be your friend

I am out in my backyard drinking coconut water and about to play soccer with my son. Hope you can get some rest and wake up refreshed!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Oh thanks for your kindness starrlight! I can tell your beautiful inside and out too. Not enough ppl are as nice and genuine like you anymore! That's why I love talking with you! Have you noticed that their is a lot of caring and supportive ppl on here? Its been so helpful! I don't know how I lived without this site. So glad someone on another site took the time to tell me about this one. Hugs my friend😀😎

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Thank you! Yes I love the people in this site!!! How are you doing today?

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Ok can't sleep but hoping to sleep later if possible! The bipolar 2 keeps me awake like every couple of days. How are you?

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Just woke up. It’s 6:00 here. So far so good 😊

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks again for all your support and taking time out your busy day to talk to me😎😀

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

I feel like your going to have a great day enjoying your kids!

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Aww thank you!!! I needed that!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Your a great friend.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

Took 6 sleeping pills hoping I'd sleep but no luck yet! I shouldn't of taken them cause I feel tired. I wanted to go for a walk before its light out but ill try hard to go later!!

[metalminded in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hi again! You and I both know what our BDD can be like. It worsens my depression terribly.

Your picture is attractive, I don't believe that you look anywhere near how you perceive yourself. Unlike my case of BDD, its easily compared and I start to think it's not just negative thoughts in my mind, and I think its not BDD and the truth of what it really is.

Don't let your BDD stop you from being healthy and walking or going to a gym. You may think your looks will be noticed, but look at people who may be facially disfigured who manage (at least on the outside) fine. We all need to be accepting, and in both of our cases I'm sure most are and it is just in our minds.

Don't stop! I bet OR is really beautiful!! Enjoy it!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to metalminded]

Hiya Leigh! My bdd is just as bad cause women are judged on looks and that pic only turned out ok cause I only take pics in the sunlight, I got tan and when I smile you can't see it. Plus the sagging has gotten worse since that pic! I know its not in my head cause I got the sagging face just like my dad had. Its just genetics unfortunately. I know how you feel about being compared to others oh do I ever. I do appreciate your kind words but when I don't smile really big trust me it super embarrassing. I can't smile all the time but boy do I try!! That pic out of all of them I take is one ok most are not!!! I don't mean to complain but its genetic and I just need to accept it and learn that I did it to myself thru smoking. That's why I want to quit smoking so bad before it gets even worse! And yeah I know what you mean about disfiguredppl whether its from an accident etc. That's true. Well enough out of me lol. Just wanted to say that women are judged on their beauty. Hope you have a beautiful day my friend!!!

[metalminded in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hi Kacey! You are absolutely right! Judged a lot more then men. I think in our case, we judge ourselves and positive or negative it goes from there. Of course even men are shown that to be a man you have to be buff and tone and that is what a woman wants in a man, same with women. I think women might be more judgey to each other than guys are with each other.

My BDD is part of that example what a real man is supposed to be like, that if it's not like the examples out there, then its not good. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying. I wish I could find a support group for that, especially one that would allow or encourage women to post and offer support as well!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to metalminded]

I totally agree with what your saying. Bdd is probably the hardest thing I deal with. Cause it drives my anxiety to get so horrible. Its so hard to leave my condo and walk in peace. As soon as I get outside I start freaking out. So I think we are very similar in our BDD issues!

[metalminded in reply to lovedogs51511]

No doubt, mine is just hidden, but I can certainly relate to the feeling and anxiety.

[Starrlight]

I may skateboard the way back home since my son likes to skate to school.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Oh yeh !! 💕