Body Dysmorphic /Ocd Hell

[Aspergian29]

Has anyone had problems with severe anxiety going outside due to feeling u look weird/ugly ? I have been Agoraphobic before due to this....I wont answer my door even if its a parcel I'm expecting I just wait until they give it in to my neighbour and I collect it later...Feel so low with zero self esteem...

[b1b1b1]

I would bet you look pretty normal. What specifically bothers you about the way you look? The real problem, though, is probably depression and not feeling very good about yourself in general. Have you seen a therapist?

[Aspergian29 in reply to b1b1b1]

I have been like this since I gave birth to my son ...3 weeks after the birth my hair fell out in clumps...mainly both sides...people tell me its hidden when I have my hair down but I still feel everyone is laughing/staring at me and I'm always hypervigilant as if waiting on someone being nasty because I look weird....I saw a Psychiatrist and he told me theres no real help for Body Dysmorphia...I will always have it to some degree...I was suffering from severe social anxiety and ocd before this incident happened...making me feel low and paranoid...x

[_Bai_ in reply to Aspergian29]

yes you might have some sort of Body Dysphoria but its hard to accept parts about yourself that you do not like. I would start each morning waking up and writing one thing about yourself (a physical appearance) that you like. It can be the same thing over and over again. Build the love for your body in baby steps. Yes you might always have some sort of distortion about your body but if you love your body then you will start to notice that others love it as well!

Just remember that we are our biggest credits and the only person who can tell you something is impossible is you, and you don't have to listen.

[Splash01]

Hey, everyone is beautiful in their own way! I would start small by saying 3 things in the mirror that YOU LOVE about yourself! Do that everyday! I also found that journaling helped me. It made a difference letting all my negative thoughts go somewhere other than myself. Every time I journal I tell myself, this is where my negative thoughts stay. Anytime I mess up, have an off day, or think badly; I have a quote I tell myself "the sun will rise and I can try again." I whisper that to myself at least 20 times a day! I would also recommend seeing a therapist! But do small things and they will make a difference

[Aspergian29 in reply to Splash01]

Thank u....I try not to be negative but when its hard to even leave the house without feeling panicky, its difficult to stay positive...it also makes me so tired..checking the mirror all the time before I go out and then the minute I see someone looking over at me I feel intense anxiety and cry when I get home...My psychiatrist has now discharged me and says I have to manage the condition...feels like I have no life...its taken away all the joy...x

[comb]

I have a really hard time getting dressed in the morning because I feel like nothing all looks normal or that my face is weird and ugly. Or Like, if I’m in the bathroom I try not to look and when I do I don’t want to leave the bathroom to see others.

It’s hard to feel this way, and I’m so sorry you do. 💜

[Aspergian29 in reply to comb]

Sorry to hear u feel this way too...It definitely all started when I experienced hair loss...it destroyed my self esteem and I wouldn't go outside..Ive bought loads of hats to cover my hair but then I feel that people are staring because I'm covering up and there must be something to hide....its a torment...that's what I feel..weird looking or I must look ugly now...I hope u can feel better...x

[km147]

I personally don't have that specific problem, but I hear you. I have social anxiety, so i can't interact with people in social situations without feeling anxious or feeling the need to be alone. I take it day by day and challenge myself in slow motions. Like I would raise my hand in class if I feel like it. or present something. Or even going out shopping alone. Small steps can be incredibly helpful in the process of healing. Also I can't end this reply without recommending therapy or professional help. I am in no way equal to a professional, just trying to give my input and offer my support. Good luck and keep posting.

[Aspergian29 in reply to km147]

Hi...I also have severe social anxiety from as young as 14yrs old...I find it very difficult to have any friends due to the anxiety...I had this problem before the body dysmorphia problem ...it developed later on...Psychiatrist said it is connected to ocd...I didn't know I had ocd....I have tried going out alone...I manage small things alone but feel really paranoid the whole time...I will keep trying the small steps...appreciate your input...x

[metalminded]

Yes, I have. I had a reaction (or some other cause) to a medication. I ended up with small cysts all over my face, neck, chest, back, and genitals. Whenever I went out, I could feel the people stare at me. At work, I dreaded having to meet a new employee or an appointment with someone I had never met before. I thought everything labeled me as some kind of freak they should stay away from.

I'm partially better now, my face is pretty much cleared up, still have some on my body, but not like it was.

I do have serious body dysmorphic issues though. And yes, I have seen a psychologist. I'm still having a hard time with it. I don't journal, but I do tell myself it shouldn't matter, I shouldn't care what others might think, and that not everyone will have a negative opinion of my issues.

[Aspergian29]

Sorry to hear that happened to u....Glad its getting better for u....Youre right we shouldn't care what others think and in reality they probably aren't really looking at us at all...but it feels so real when outside...I f someone looks over, even if they smile at me ifeel intense anxiety and sweat...its awful...I was given meds for ocd but it done nothing at all....Appreciate your reply x

[b1b1b1]

Do you know why your fell out? Is it growing back in. You should speak to a dermatologist about this. They also handle this type of problem and may well be able to help.

[Aspergian29 in reply to b1b1b1]

Hey....It happened after the birth of my son...I saw a Dr and he said it will grow back within a year...it never did...my son is an adult now ...he dismissed how distressed was about it and told me to just wear a hat...I didn't know I had ocd at the time and I became totally obsessed to the point I wouldn't go out the door..i also think its a vicious cycle...I worry all the time about the hair loss so I'm stressed a lot and then I think the stress is causing the hair to never grow back...but I don't know how to break the cycle...I also have a very passive aggressive partner who stresses me a lot with his behaviour but I have financial ties with him...

[b1b1b1 in reply to Aspergian29]

The doctor who dismissed your distress is a total jerk. It is amazing how many uncaring doctors there are.

[Madison10]

Hi Aspergian

I have that issue too. It’s not all the time. Ha be you tried therapy or meditation or your doctor? I had a sever problem going outside after a home invasion but I finally over come it with forcing my self out and I found. Group therapy. Remember, everyone is struggling with something

[Aspergian29 in reply to Madison10]

Thank u...Glad to hear youre getting better...I did see a Psychologist but was told to just wear a hat but this doesn't seem to take away my fear of being stared at..i get so paranoid...I think my ocd makes things worse too...im constantly checking my hair in the mirror...I cant go out at all without checking my hair from every angle....it drains me completely...x

[Lostjoy in reply to Aspergian29]

Hi Aspergian29.. I am recently experiencing hair loss. It is causing lots of anxiety for me also. I can see the thinning sides in the mirror, and I also can’t go out without checking every angle. I think menopause is the reason for mine plus extreme constant anxiety over every little thing. I feel that the anxiety is not going to let my hair grow back. I’m not sure women can regrow hair after menopause anyway so I’m devastated over it.

[Aspergian29 in reply to Lostjoy]

Hey Lostjoy....I totally understand...I am nearly approaching the menopause myself and my hair has thinned again and its causing so much distress...youre right the fact we are anxious will either make the problem worse or it just wont grow back.....I was the same if I was in the car and someone was driving I would constantly check the side mirrors to see I looked ok....and sometimes I wouldn't even get out the car if I thought I didn't look just right(perfectionism) I think that's related to my ocd.....Do u suffer from Ocd or social anxiety? Body Dysmorphia is usually connected to these conditions I found out recently....It takes away all joy and I hate when people say Don't be so vain...its nothing to do with being vain its usually the opposite we dislike ourselves....x

[tobe1]

Hi, I'm new and just read this 8n my email. I heard about Dysmorphic years ago but never met anyone elese wi5h this problem, I've had this issue for over 30 years. I always have a have a mirror in my car, well when i had my up until Sept 2017. I would place it right in the side pocket of m5 door. I'm ashame to say it but, I was just as bad as someone with a cellphone, always looking my self between red lights sometimes while driving to be sure I look decent. I carried a mirror in my handbag, in my pocket. Always have to stop at a bathroom to use my mirror and the one in the bathroom so I could get a full 360 view of myself. I have a mirror in every room.. ugh...