Why Does Our Brain Fight Us?

[WMcMillion8745]

So....everyone tells me this will help. Getting how I feel off my chest. I’m sort of a “man’s man” I guess you would say. Don’t like doctors, hate getting sick, cut my finger? Just some electrical tape will do. But, in 2011 my life flipped upside down. A chain events sent me into a spiral that I can’t seem to get out of. It started with losing my job, a few weeks later my gallbladder ruptured, a couple weeks after that I lost my dad to cancer which he only found out he had a month before he passed away. All of these things sent me into a manic state of depression. For about a year I could hardly function. Barely get out of bed. My family didn’t matter any longer, my wife had all but moved on to a new relationship because she was sure I was a lost cause (or at least this is how I felt). I didn’t even care to live or die. I was that low on life.

Finally, my wife convinced me to see a doctor. She started me on Effexor for anxiety and depression. And Ativan to calm my nervousness. It’s taken quite a while but I’ve finally came out of the slump I was in. Went back to work in a career that I love, and make plenty to support my family and live happy.

The one thing that remains is the anxiety. Since losing my dad my brain constantly tells me I’m gonna die. If it’s not cancer, it’s a stroke, or a heart attack, or a brain clot. I can’t get my mind to stop telling me that there is something wrong with my body. I bought an Apple Watch just to monitor my pulse every time I get a nervous twitch. My story probably isn’t any different from thousands of other people, and I’m not looking for sympathy. Just simply a way to make my brain stop telling my body that I’m sick. Thousands of dollars in medical bills just to here a doctor say “yeah, you’re fine. Nothing wrong that we can see.” Yeah! Well look again! Cause something is definitely wrong! There has to be a solution to this. There has to be a way out of this loop. There has to be a way to be alone for five minutes in the day and not feel like during that alone time I might have a heart attack and no one be there to know it and I’ll just die in a hotel room alone and be some John Doe that an ambulance wheels out of a hotel until my wife can come claim the body.

I’m 35, a little over weight, but taking care of that now, down over 22 pounds in the last month alone. (285 now for anyone wondering what I consider a little over weight) not too bad at 6’1” and getting better every day. Anyways, my point is, at 35 I should be enjoying life, not worrying about when or how I’ll die. Anyone with any suggestions, I’m willing to listen. Thanks for reading my rant, if anyone even does.

[Hidden]

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m also 35 and struggle with health anxiety. Honestly, it is a process. Unfortunately I haven’t found anything that just shuts off the thoughts. I’ve done CBT therapy and that was a great foundation for helping me change the way that I think. I think a lot of it is the process of learning all you can about how anxiety works and then working on changing the thoughts that you have surrounding the anxiety. So many of us here have health anxiety and are experiencing much of what you are. We all got here in different ways but here we are all the same. If I had to make suggestions....trust what your doctors are telling you, read everything you can about anxiety and how it works on the body and mind, and work on changing your thoughts and internal dialogue. Finding a good therapist may help with a couple of those steps. It can be a very involved process but well worth the progress that comes with it. We’re all here when you feel like you need to reach out.

[KaliMontana]

you should really look into cognitive behavioral therapy, this is the type of therapy I went through for my anxiety. It's all about analyzing your thought processes and breaking it down with a professional. through cognitive behavioral therapy you learn how to look at your irrational fears and recognize that they are based off on unsubstantial evidence. I didn't drive for almost 2 years, because every time I got onto the highway I instantly would have a panic attack. I had these fears that something bad was going to happen, I just knew it. the car was going to go to fast and I would lose control, or someone from the other lane will collide with my car and we'll crash and die. But after undergoing cognitive therapy I learned how to reason with myself (It took a while and a lot of work). So now when I have an anxious thought I don't follow up on it, I don't continue down the rabbit hole of one worrying thought following the next until on and on it goes. I stop and debate with myself on why the thought is irrational, unsubstantiated, and therefore holds no power. It's constant work but it's worth it.

[Rpan]

I’m 46, down the road a bit. I spent many years CBT. I had to go through past events. It was helpful for anxiety. I take Ativan at times, when things are overwhelming. I’m also on Lexapro. I have learned that these thoughts are a perfect distraction. You see if we think about dying, we can’t think about what is really bothering us. I believe it’s the minds way of tricking us. The real bang for the buck is meditation. Meditation will teach you how the mind works. I bought a bunch of teaching meditation books, read them and started practicing. Now I wake up at least 1/2 hour before my day is to start and I meditate. I find myself laughing at myself when I start to think about dying of a heart attack, because this pathway is so Ingrained in my thoughts, but it’s just that a thought. Meditation has tough me these loops are just that, a loop that I created. It was difficult at first meditating, I just keep practicing. It’s a matter of catching these thoughts and returning back to the breath. Just keep building on the breath, each time the thought comes up, I say there it is, there is that thought, back to my breathing over and over. It’s replacing these scary thoughts with an action, breathing. It creates space between the thoughts. It gives you a break. You begin to find comfort, later acceptance comes. Label the thought than return to breathing. I do this everywhere!!