Hello all. Been dealing with anxiety and ocd my whole life. It’s hit an all time low and I can’t figure out why. I feel like work is fine, my family is great, and on the surface everything seems cheerful. With all the good happening I’m frustrated my mental state won’t just take a chill pill.
So.. I’m constantly anxious about what seems like nothing and I’m scared it will never end. Lately I have had ocd thoughts about Suicide and death. I know these things are bad and I would never act on these thoughts. I just feel an overwhelming sense of uneasiness and the more the loop plays in my head the more I freak out. I’m worried someday I’ll snap and lose control. My panic attacks have also increased and happen randomly. Example, Went on a run yesterday and my legs itched/ burned from the cold and—- boom, panic attack.
Does anyone here worry about worrying? I’m very frightened of being institutionalized and going crazy because I know what I’m thinking isn’t exactly normal. I’m getting married in a month and we just moved into a new house. Can this overwhelming sense of unease be attributed to these changes subconsciously.
Meds:
My doctor just switched me to 20 mg of Prozac and before this medication I never felt this bad. I was taking citalopram but it seemed to wear off towards the end of the day.
Welp, thats how I’m feeling today. Wish I could just be back to my old cheerful self. Hope everyone is doing ok today. Praying for some mental stability.
Thanks
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AnxiousAlex
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hello, yes i know that feeling, where you just can't get into even a halfway decent state for 5 mins,i know it too, 2 things stood out for me in your post, your impending wedding OF COURSE you are worrying about it !!! and the new meds. i have no advice accept you will get through it, hope to hear back from you.
Hi Ciley! Thanks for the reply! Ya, I feel like the wedding could attribute to some of it. I’m not so much worried about the planning as we are pretty much finished. I am however, concerned about have a panic attack at the alter or not being able to participate because of the anxiety of the whole day. Just praying I can be mentally strong for my fiancé. But yes whenever I am not busy with a task I just get the same loop in my head. As if something is not right. I have never had this crippling feeling and I’m praying it’s just my body reacting to the medication. I am on week 3. From what I have been reading Prozac takes awhile to kick in.
I feel like major life changes really set off our anxiety. I’ve had depression and anxiety for years. But I recently quit my job and my panic attacks have been so bad. Worse than I’ve ever had before.
I went to the hospital with the worst panic attack of my life last week. I literally could not control myself. It was terrifying. And since then I’ve been so worried about it happening again.
I also just started Prozac a few weeks ago and i feel like it’s making me feel worse..
Ya, I have been terrified as well of these increased panic attacks. From what I have read it is normal when starting Prozac. My doc told me to stick it out a little longer but I wonder if the trade off is worth it. I will say I feel the med has given me a few good days of no OCD. It’s very much an up and down battle. I just keep telling myself to take it day by day. The more I think about the future the more the panic sets in. I have been taking Xanax when I feel a panic attack coming on and it does make me feel better; however it puts me right to sleep. I have faith it’s going to get better though! I’m sure if we stick it out long enough the med will eventually plug all the lose ends and regulate itself out.
I too have been dealing with panic/anxiety and depression. What did it for me was when I no longer feared the panic attacks. As they would come I would just let it happen, knowing full well it would pass. Once I went through them a few times, they stopped. They can’t hurt you. The more fuel that these attacks are given the worse they get. Believe me I often thought of going to the hospital, now I don’t fear it.
The thoughts about suicide. I’ve been dealing with this for many years, on and off. My mind works the same way I loop back around to the same thoughts with no resolution. That is the key at times I just don’t have the answers. When I’m stuck with that terrible thought, I just can’t make any sense of it, so it than becomes all consuming. This thought becomes the focus, which in turn causes panic/anxiety. I see it just as another pathway of thoughts now, when I have this thought I just tell myself it’s just a thought, I label it as a thought, there it is again and I let it go. I don’t give it any power. Having this thought does not mean something is terribly wrong, it’s just a thought. This is how I’ve learned to deal with this. Hope this is helpful.
I recently saw an interview with the singer Jewel. She had been abused as a child and she gave a visual about the thoughts that gave her anxiety. She previously felt like those anxious thoughts were the driver in a car and that she was a helpless passenger. She retrained her thinking so that she visualized that she was the driver of the car in her life and the thoughts that gave her anxiety were put in the trunk of the car.
I know how badly you want to be back to your old happy worry-free self. That is exactly how I feel a lot. I am 21 and have never had any anxiety or depression until a month ago when i had my first panic attack ever. Had no idea what was happening to me. It was terrifying because I am the most calm and happy person ever so i was extremely worried and frightened. I thought in the morning after my panic attack i would be fine, like in some cases with people, but ever since that night I've had generalized anxiety. its very debilitating, i just want to be myself again.
But, I have come a long way in the past three weeks. I did so much research as i was desperate for this to go away. I found a book called DARE by Barry McDonagh and it has helped me tremendously. I would still be having crazy panic attacks and intense anxiety if it wasn't for his book. Please give it a try, it has completely cured people of anxiety if you read the reviews. I am not completely cured yet, but i have definitely made progress.
I did not want to start medication, i don't want to because i feel like if i do then I'm actually admitting that i have an anxiety disorder and i don't think thats it. i see this more as a phase, because i know that with time, with the book and with quitting alcohol/caffeine and being more healthy/exercising more i can get through this and be myself again. I think this could help you too since you seem to be so desperate to be your old self again. Its also helped me to think of it this way, we may not be able to be our old selves fully again, but we can be new versions of ourselves. Stronger, more courageous and more exited about life than ever before because we have experienced what life is like with anxiety.
Also, try to look into natural supplements. Magnesium citrate and valerian root help me. Please get the book and start reading! I wish i could give everybody on this website a copy right now.
Hi Rose, thanks for the advice. I’m totally going to get that book and try the supplements. I’m will to do whatever it takes to rid myself of all this worry. I love how you said that we need mold ourselves into better versions. That’s a great point. I need to start to think more optimistically.
you know the marathon is on tomorrow?you know that v many people get by on the cheers of the crowd? yes its true,on your day you will be supported by others, amd if you drop the ring etc you won't be the first or the last, it will be achieved,prozac is a fairly tame drug,see how you are a couple of days before,it may then ease yout mind to give it a miss ! all the best,won't say no to a slice of cake !
Hey Alex, I believe that you are experiencing too many life changes at once, sometimes just the fear of experiencing something new may get me anxious. So what I normally do is try to relax as much as possible. I drink decaffeinated tea, take longer baths or showers and create a to-do list to assure that you work on things one day at time. This should help.
Thank you for posting this. I've been dealing with anxiety my whole life and I'm just glad I'm not alone. Something that has helped me is seeing it from a scientific aspect. Our anxiety is neurological pathways that CAN be fixed. All we can do is find comfort in each other! Good luck with the wedding, you seem like a deserving guy!
Wow, I’m literally the same exact way right now. It’s so strange how anxiety works. It’s nice to know that you’re never really alone. Hang in there, you’ll be fine once you get a grip on things. Stress is enough to make anyone feel this way, I’ve been here before a few years ago and it feels great once it’s a little
More under control. If you ever need to talk at all I’m here for you
You Hang In There Alex... & No. You ARE NOT Going Crazy. People That Are What You Are Referring Too Don't THINK They May Be Going Crazy . They Just Are. YOU Have A Conscious Or It Wouldn't Bother You. We [ Us ], Who Have An Anxiety/Panic Disorders Have Periods Of "Brain Fog" & We Tend To Forget Identifying It For What It Is. The Periods Of "Feeling Outa Control or/ Losing Control" Scares The Crap Out Of Us ! [ sux ]. & When We Have THAT Feeling ? Here Comes Intrusive Thoughts, " What If I"...Ect... [ Bad Thoughts That Make Us Fear ]... Why ? Because We've Heard The Term " They Just Snapped & Done This or/ That " So Many Times In Our Lives. "That" Is Where The "What If I's" Come In. We Have A Bad Habit With Our Disorders [ which is part of the disorder ] Of Thinking Ourselves Into A "Mental Fog". I Don't Know About You But Sometimes I Wish My Mind Would Just Shut Up. Heck ! We Find Ourselves Thinking About Something We Thought About & Why Did We Think About What We Thought About ! [ LOL ]... Look. Everybody Gets "Intrusive Thoughts" ? Even Everyday People That Have No Anxiety Disorders. If They Say They Don't ? They Lie ! We Live In A World Of Both Good & Evil. Our Minds Record EVERYTHING. Our Minds Tend To Put "US" In The Imaginative or Say Thought Process Because It's "OUR" Mind. If I Told You There Was A Vein Of Gold & Exactly Where It Was, & Told Ya To Go Get It. BUT ? Beware Of The Baboon With The Red Face Because He'll Run Out & Bite Ya ! Although You "Know" That Baboons Don't Live Where You Are Going. What Do You Think Will Cross Your Mind When Ya Get There ?
"Brain Fog" Is Part Of Our Disorder. [ that sudden dull outa control feeling that scares us ].
& It Can Happen Anywhere & Out Of Nowhere. It's Anxiety , Stress, & Overthinking Everything. Take It Easy On Yourself With "Brain Fog" As It's Part Of Our Disorders. [ everybody gets brain fog now and then. but us with disorders have them far too often, but ? that's why it's a panic anxiety disorder right ? ]
Hope This Helps Some My Friend....
Prayers For Ya~*
P.S. Remember. We Are No Different Than A Diabetic or/ Say A Person With Asthma. Their Disorders Are Just In A Different Part Of The Body. Ours Is Just As Real...
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