How do you...: I don't know how to be a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Tmryan profile image
8 Replies

I don't know how to be a friend. I always feel like I cannot be the real me in social circles and have not one true friend. How do I not let this anxiety keep me isolated from others and just be myself? I just want to know that people do like me and that I am not the joke of any group I'm in, at work and in those limited moments that my husband convinces me to join others for dinner.

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Tmryan profile image
Tmryan
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8 Replies

I’m not great in groups and recently I realise I need a lot of me time, so while I do occasionally like friends I find it difficult to maintain friendships, I find it really exhausting...your not alone.

What I will say is that most people are so interested in themselves they aren’t as interested in us as much as we think, to make fun etc...our minds play tricks with us and lead us to believe negative things....I reckon people do like you , our anxieties tell us different...

Sorry I’ve waffled a bit here.

Your not alone for sure in finding the friend thing difficult..human beings are complex 😱 in my opinion

Good wishes to you x

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to

Great post- you are right- most people are interested in themselves.

in reply to gogogirl

Yes, once I accepted that a bit more...I chilled a bit about it all...people soon go back to thinking about themselves too , even if distracted by others for a short while 😂

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Yes, they do- if you live with a partner or family that is a different situation. However, I love animals!

EmLee96 profile image
EmLee96

I never had a best friend in school because I felt like no one could ever like me. Only when I started to accept myself and have some self confidence was I actually able to let my guard down enough to get a best friend in college. It also took me until I was 17 to have a boyfriend for the same trust/keeping my guard up issues. It took me mostly raising my self esteem and defeating that stupid voice in my head that I wasn't good enough.

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

As I said to another poster- who cares what they think- are they paying your bills, giving you food and may I add getting to World Peace?

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61

Hello, Tmry, i once read that to , get the friend you want , you must be the friend you want. So that is what i try to do. I also, try to be positive,non judgemental and genuine. Because, that's what i like a friend to be. I'm not particularly happy in social situations and when. I was young suffered crippling anxiety because of it. It's just that I've learned to behave differently and excpect less. I do have a few good friends now. Best of luck. 😊✌️🌻

madonyx profile image
madonyx

Don’t feel alone, I don’t know when will be the end of this anxiety and me stopping myself enjoying going out, I have been locked myself in the house or in a closet because of my fears for long years now. While I have going through this I pushing myself to go into places that is may me feel fears, like it in a mall or restaurant , i have to convenced myself that i’m okay by my own, is not easy but i feel proud of myself when i do it. I’m not used to let people know about my problem , I keep myself solitary, peoples sometimes are rudes and think you’re out of your mind which is some kind of true but I don’t need those negative comments I’m looking to get better until the cure is here, who’s know.?...I don’t have friends at all, I only have meet peoples through my life so I’m maybe be call antisocial in my back but I’m always me front and back. I respect peoples and I want my respect back. That simple. I only let my fear talk in front at doctors, professional therapist or other professional at this matter and who’s going to work with my fears, other than that the fears is only mine. This is my first time Im talking through this type of chat i hope everything go they way is promised with privacy.

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