How do you find the motivation to do the things you need to do?

[J760]

I have had anxiety and depression most of my life and will always have to take medicine for it. Last summer I quit my job because I had severe depression and anxiety and couldn’t handle working. Around that time, I started seeing a new psychiatrist and a counselor. My psychiatrist has tried several different kinds of meds which has been like a rollercoaster ride with my moods and the side effects have not been fun either. I know my meds are still not right because my mood is not where it should be and I still have problems with obsessive thoughts because of my OCD. I am doing a lot better than I was last summer, but I’m still not working and I find myself wasting most of my time browsing the internet and watching a lot of TV. I do get out a little to volunteer, see family, run errands, etc., however I’ve always been a homebody. Maybe because of my fear of rejection and the fact that I’ve never had a lot of friends. Everyone on here is so kind and encouraging. A lot of good advice and links to good information is also given. So I’m hoping you can tell me what helps you get up and get going to exercise, clean, cook, practice mindfulness and do all the things you need to do? My counselor keeps telling me to go slow and that I am doing things, but it’s been eight months since I quit my job! Please share what has helped you to do what you need to do.

[Madison10]

Hi there

We seem to have similar issues. I have had depression issues for a long time and it’s so frustrating. I get to the point of somewhat being normal, then I have a melt down. I tell you what I do and it’s a struggle. I try to make some plans for each day, a schedule. I do volunteer work, I take a meditation and mindful class, I started to go back to church a few months ago. I felt I needed to be around people. I am on meds. I joined a group therapy group but everyone dropped out. In the last couple of years I found a counselor and it didn’t work out. My counselor talked me into going to a psychologist to manage my meds. The copayment are to high. So I am looking for help but haven’t found any yet . I am struggling to get motivated. There are days when I can’t do anything and I tried to just say to myself, that’s ok. Tomorrow is anther day. Everyone is struggling with something, you are not alone and everyone I talked to on this site seems to be caring. But I do have reservations on being open to people I don’t know. If you want to chat, I would look forward to it

[J760 in reply to Madison10]

It’s nice to know that there are other people who know what you are going through, but sad at the same time because you know what a struggle it is. I have tried scheduling things and it did work, although I think my expectations about what I need to accomplish each may be too high considering I tend to put off a lot of things until “ tomorrow”. I would like to chat and will attempt to, but I’m not very savvy when it comes to those things.

[J760]

Thanks for replying. I guess I just need to find a motivator. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’d be better without the internet and dish tv.

[J760]

Oops, I think I just replied to you below. This is my first time posting.

[Hidden in reply to J760]

That's fine.

[Aesclepius]

It sounds like you crave a supporting human contact but might be afraid of rejection or loss. That's why internet and TV come in handy- they provide a connection without the fear of rejection.

Try to introduce more of a warm and supporting human contact in your life- church or religious community, meet-up groups, yoga or art studio. Something where you won't feel judged. Maybe volunteer. When we are focused on helping others, we are not as focused on our problems. And feeling appreciated will motivate you further.

[J760 in reply to Aesclepius]

You are right, I do need to get out and be around more people. I enjoyed working and helping people. I also felt more motivated to do things when I was working until my depression got bad. I am volunteering right now, but I don’t work directly with people and I think I need to find a volunteer job where I work helping people. Thank you for your advice!

[gogogirl in reply to J760]

Or possibly work for animals while surrounded with people who support them?

[gogogirl]

Was this a job that took you out of your value system? You did not explain why you were anxious. For instance . were you given duties for which you were not trained? I will bet that "being a homebody" adds to the anxiety unless you have another income source. I hope you find a job that is a better match and give it some time.

[J760 in reply to gogogirl]

My first memories of having anxiety were when I was in the third grade. Then, when I was in junior high I started having problems with depression and social anxiety. Even though I didn’t have names for them, I have awful memories of how they made me feel. I have always struggled with the anxiety and depression most of my life. My counselor tells me I need to learn to manage them instead of them managing me. It’s always been a struggle.

I was was working as a home health and I enjoyed working with my clients. Then they sent me to a client’s home with bed bugs and didn’t tell me until after the fact. I freaked out and sprayed my car with bed bug spray. I then started getting red bumps on my skin possibly caused by a reaction to the bed bug spray or my anxiety. I had an exterminator and bed bug dog come to my house because I thought I had them. I was reading everything I could find out about them on the internet and avoided being around people and my family because I was afraid I would give to other people. I even had the exterminator set sticky traps up to catch them and...there were no bed bugs. I thought about it obsessively and was convinced I had them. It’s crazy what my mind does. Shortly after that my psychiatrist diagnosed me with OCD. The company I worked for also had a lot of communication problems. They often would not return phone calls to staff or clients. They also didn’t have staff meetings with the aides in the area I worked in. I had also just relocated less than a year before and was having difficulty with the transition.

I like your idea about working with dogs. I have always loved dogs. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of opportunities to work with dogs and most of the animal rescues are about an hour away.

As far as my finances go, I’m a widow so I get survivors benifits. I also started collecting my IPERS a year and a half ago. I do need to get back to work soon, but I’m ok for now.

[Boober180 in reply to J760]

Have you ever considered dog walking in your area??