Constant fear...

[ScottyDog1]

...of failing at big and small things in life, work, relationships. It wakes me up at night with severe anxiety. I have to put in so much effort every day to just cope that there’s usually no energy for me to enjoy life when I get home. Cycle start all over again. When will I fail next causing my life to crumble?

How do I stop this cycle of fear? I have a therapist but doesn’t seem to help.

Thought from my new friends here? ScottyDog

[Agora1]

Hi ScottyDog1 and Welcome to the forum. Realizing that you are in a cycle of fear is the first step. Breaking that cycle is not that difficult but takes a little time, some work and turning your thought process around to a more positive approach.

You start with taking a respite from the day's worries. This is where meditation/relaxation and deep breathing come into play. Find a quiet spot for some "me time" every day. Start with once a day (afternoon). Chill, Veg Out, whatever you want to call it, but the thing is to escape within your mind. Your mind needs a break from the constant negative chatter it is feeding you.

I go to YouTube every afternoon for a 3-5-or 10 minutes respite. Type in Audio Relaxation and Deep Breathing. Listening to the soothing voices and watching calming scenes will take you away from your stresses. It doesn't happen with one time. It needs to become a learned behavior where your mind will go into calm mode instantly whenever you watch the video.

My favorite speakers are Michael Seeley, Quiet Mind Café and the Honest Guys. Everyone responds differently so pick and choose what may work for you. Once you start to look forward to your afternoon escape, then use quiet meditation time before you go to sleep as well as first thing upon awakening. You will soon find that your mind doesn't feed you constantly with negative thoughts. You are more on an even keel. If anxiety breaks through, use your acceptance that it is not harmful, you are safe and immediately start deep breathing the anxious thought away. It works. My best to you xx

[ScottyDog1 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much for the kind and helpful reply. I will attempt go to that quiet space daily Agora and remember that I’m safe! ScottyD

[EmLee96]

I was stuck in this cycle too and do fall back into it at times. It is extremely hard to change this kind of thought pattern... But it is possible.

You have to challenge these thoughts when they pop up. Even if you do not believe what you are saying keep saying them. For example you say "when am I going to fail again?" tell yourself "its okay if I make a mistake because everyone does" or "anyone in this same situation would do the same" or "I did the best that I could". You have to fight this fear speech in yourself.

List out your accomplishments show yourself what you have done. Learn to be proud of what you have done. Tell yourself that you are doing the best you can do. Learn to love and be nicer to yourself.