I’m new here...with anxiety and a con... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

62,156 members61,262 posts

I’m new here...with anxiety and a constant fear of dying.

Mandib profile image

Good morning all, thank you for accepting me. I suffer from extreme anxiety which seemed to start after my daughter died, I also have the constant feeling that I’m dying. It’s gotten to where I hate leaving my house, I stay in pajamas all the time, I feel tightness in my chest, my head feels like I’m underwater, I don’t sleep well, I’m short tempered, the list goes on.

10 Replies

Hey there I feel like am dying to that's the feeling anxiety gives you. This site helps because loads of others are going through the same thing reading through their storys can help ur not aline

I’m so sorry that you are going through this! Having anxiety is a world of its own. Only if people would understand. You have come to the right spot. You’re immediately going to see the support, advice and encouragement that is much needed in your hard times. Welcome!!!!!

Continue to post, we are all here for you!!!

Yes, it’s in a class all it’s own. There are times when I can literally make myself sick, more times than not. Everything from sweaty palms, tight chest, nausea..you name it. I just try to breath it away, sometimes it works, other times not so much. Now I’ve developed phobias, something else I have to contend with.

Yes that really does sound like extreme anxiety. You have been through something that no parent ever wants to go through. It sounds like you are going through the grieving process. Perhaps you are worried about dying because of what happened to your daughter.

I don't know if you were having any of these problems before losing your daughter but if I were you I would see a doctor.

My heart goes out to you and good luck.

Mandib, Welcome & I new here also & joined back in October last year. So sorry about the lost of your daughter & you have my condolence. I been dealing with anxiety & depression & suffer from health/anxiety & feel like I'm dying at times. I'm on new medicine to help me & it is working & I feel less depressed & anxious. It's not fun feeling this way & want to have a normal happy life. I also see a therapist to talk to & psychiatrist that prescribes my medicine. Are you seeing anyone that can help you? If not I highly recommend you should. I will keep you in my prayers & it will get better! Hang in there!❤️🙏🙌🙏👍

Anxiety takes many forms but it is always still anxiety. All the bad feelings you mention are symptoms of anxiety: we have read about them here before, we will read about them here again. None of these symptoms are unique to you.

Naturally, you will spend copious time and attention stressing, obsessing and distressing over each symptom. But that will not help to free you of them. Only when you successfully address the actual cause of your symptoms can you expect the symptoms to yield.

Some upset in your life has reached anxiety overload, your mind has had enough. So it blows a few fuses, biologically speaking, and your nervous system becomes over sensitised.

In this state it exaggerates all our minor concerns and fears ten or twenty fold. The death of a daughter is the hardest blow to take, only with the slow passing of time does the pain soften.

You are concerned for your own mortality, you want to live a full life. But your nerves are over sensitive so the natural concern not to die young escalates 20-fold into an idee fixee that your death is impending. This and this alone is what gives you this obsession. When your anxiety disorder is overcome this and all other symptom/obsessions will dissolve and they are merely the product of over sensitive nerves.

The tightness in your chest is not a sign of a failing heart, it is muscular tension caused by anxiety: what Claire Weekes described as 'the horse's hoof in the chest' in her book 'Self help for your nerves'.

You hate leaving your house because your nerves detect your anxiety and are unhelpfully trying to protect you from dangers that do not exist such as dinosaurs and sabre tooth tigers. You know very well that when you venture out you you will face no danger. It is your fear of the fear of going out that keeps you a prisoner in your home.

Mandib, best not to let these symptoms of anxiety rule your life much longer, best to face and overcome their common cause: anxiety disorder. Maybe time to see your doctor about all this. All your symptoms are well known be people here, you are not dying and you can gain respite and recovery.

Sending love, hugs and prayers. My condolences. You are not alone and you have come to the right place for support.


First, I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter. I too am constantly afraid of dying. I have had two pulmonary embolisms and a panic attack feels just like having an embolism. I thought I had generalized anxiety disorder, but it turns out that I have OCD, which is an anxiety disorder. Sometimes I do not even want to move because I am afraid. I hate to be left alone. I’m terrified of a cold because it feels like I can’t breathe. If I have a headache I immediately jump to brain bleed because of my blood thinners. I feel out of control and absolutely crazy. Some days I don’t know how much longer I can do this. My therapist has been immensely helpful and I have to say that I am making some small improvements but it’s so hard. This community is a great place for support. I don’t feel so alone when I am on here.

Yes I no kinda what your going through my wife has had this prob for 30 years I’ve been there for 20 of it and it keeps getting worse have you found a way to calm yourself or to fear a little less?

Mandib profile image
Mandib in reply to Keithgunn

Not really, I just try to get into a different head space. Yesterday I made myself get out in the kitchen and completely rip it apart. I blasted the music, I sang loud, I did some baking, it helped a little. I just concentrated on not concentrating, if that makes any sense. I made my thoughts go elsewhere. After that was over, the uncomfortable stuff came back, tightness in my chest, nausea, sweaty palms, irritation, short of breath...the whole thing. I worry about everything, my kids, my health, dying, driving...it’s ridiculous but it’s real to me. I know how your wife feels, it’s debilitating.

You may also like...