How do I support my spouse with anxiety? - Anxiety and Depre...

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How do I support my spouse with anxiety?


My husband is in the throws of a bad manic episode. He's been really suffering for the last three months - lost his job, can't drive, tries to do things around the house but ends up making huge messes... And I have no idea how to deal with this. When he is okay, he's okay - but when he is experiencing mania, it's like he's drunk. He stumbles, falls off the bed when napping, has trouble remembering, slurs his words, etc. He is in therapy and taking medication, but nothing is working/getting better. He just keeps ALMOST getting better, then slipping back into manic states on a daily basis.

I hate to admit it, but I get so frustrated, scared, hurt, overwhelmed, stressed. I work full time, then come home to chaos. "It's not his fault, it's not his fault" is my daily mantra. Adding to the stress is worrying about how this is affecting out 2 yr old. He's the best baby, and I am constantly worried that my husband is going to forget to close the door, fall down the stairs, forget that the baby is home, etc.

My husband told me about his anxiety for the first time 2yrs into our marriage. He was diagnosed in his early 20s, but spent the next 20 years hiding it from his friends, family, and relationships. He finally told his family a few weeks ago. He's felt a lot of shame about living with anxiety and finds it really hard to ask for help. It's only with a great deal of pushing that I got him to go to regular therapy, take medication, tell his family - all of which made him feel better, but he had trouble getting there himself.

I am very proud of him and the work that he does to try and get better/take care of himself, but at what point do I call it and ask him to go to an inpatient facility? I am supposed to go on a work trip this week and my mother-in-law is coming to stay with my husband and baby, but they will have one night alone - do I cancel? If my husband says he's okay to stay home alone with the baby, do I trust him? How well can he self diagnose and say, "yes, I am coming out of this"? Any advice you all can give me would be wonderful - I am really struggling to cope, and so is he.

2 Replies

I am so sorry for your worries. Put the baby first. It is better to be safe than sorry. I am not an expert on any of this but it sounds like your husband is too sick to really care for a baby.

Sending tons of hugs and prayers.

Hidden in reply to softwaremom00

Thanks, I really appreciate the reply and advice!

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