Loneliness vs Aloneness

[Gr81ness]

Hello there,

I don’t frequent this site as much as I should, but just thought I’d post something. I suffered from Anxiety, Depression and OCD for over 20 years, but have been helped tremendously by a gene/body chemistry test(I forget the fancy name for it.) It basically lets you know which meds would or wouldn’t work for you. Saves a lot of time and trial and error problems. I have found my magic combo and am doing a lot better. Only problem I’m having trouble with is a great sense of loneliness. I’m a middle aged man with no family of my own. Everyone around me has a spouse and children. I feel kind of forgotten and abandoned at times. I know they don’t mean for me to feel this way but family takes a lot of time. Sometimes they say they are envious of me, because of my absolute freedom. Well, absolute freedom to me means void of purpose. I was married once about 7 years ago but didn’t work out. We had no children together. Haven’t had a very serious relationship since then. I’ve tried dating but I can only guess what women think of me, seeing how old I am and not having children. Anyway, I was just curious if anyone here had a similar problem and maybe could offer some advice.

Thanks and be well!

[hypercat54]

I can relate to that completely as though I am female I never had children either and I am older than you. The first thing to remember though is not everyone does for a variety of reasons. It just seems like everyone does especially if all your friends do.

I feel it's more of a stigma against women than men as it's considered natural for all women to want children whether they actually do or not. I don't think there is a stigma against men at all who haven't got children! Try and make some friends who are uncommitted like yourself. x

[fauxartist]

I totally understand what your talking about , when I was in my fifties, I started looking out there in the world to find a new life, and found groups of women and men my ageish that played cards, had pot lucks, travelled, did gardening, road trips, just this and that. The best thing I found was to reach out and go to some community center websites, and community centers in general, see what flyers are up for events. And just put your comfey clothes and shoes on and be yourself. Nobody in these groups are any different than us, they just want to live life without being alone doing it too.

[Dubba61]

Hi, glad to say i do have Children but, you don't see that much of them once they grow up. They have their own lives and i don't like to bother them. I live alone and found that doing voluntary work helped me a great deal. It means that someone relies on you and that makes you feel useful. Also, you find friends and it gets you out of the house. I'd recommend it too anyone. 😊👍🌻good luck