Judgement and no self esteem

[ShellW18]

Hi guys! Before I go on I just want to say a thankyou to this group. I only joined last week but feel like the support has been amazing.

So the past few days ive felt okish. I got a first in my assessment at Uni and actually been out the house for almost a full day with some enjoyment! Today not so good. I have very low self esteem and am so worried about being judged that it makes me feel sick. I went through a mentally abusive relationship from the age of 13 to 22 and It completely destroyed me as a person. I know it comes mainly from this. In public even around friends I feel like they are disgusted in the way I look and laugh at me. I always try and keep my head down so at least I can try and forget it' not happening but it is. I have spoken to family about this and they just call me paranoid but I know it's happening. People try to avoid me before they even get to know me. Recently I have put a bit of weight on and my skin is full of acne which is making it much worse. I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be going back to uni next week and I don' know how I'm going to cope. Please help me! Or share your experiences x

[CazO46]

Well done first of all for doing so well at uni. It's sounds as though the experience of your youth had really taken its toll on mentally and emotionally and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that . Is the a counselling service st uni you could approach or ask to be referred to mental health services by a Dr? If you have low self esteem it can be easy to believe your thoughts that people don't like you or are talking about you. Trust that you are a good and worthy person, hold your head up when you can then people can get to know the real you. You might be srlf conscious of some weight gain but very few people will care we all go through these ups and downs. Be kind to yourself and try and no judge yourself. Meditation can be good for accepting who we are, perfection isn't the goal, acceptance can result in happiness. Take care

[Starrlight]

I can really relate to this. I am working on self- esteem. I tend to feel wrong and like I am too weird and undeserving. Lately I say affirmations and positive self talk reminding myself that I am just as worthy as the next person, that I am strong and a beautiful person. It’s hard to believe sometimes but I’ve been working on and conquering my panic attack problem which has been helpful to my self esteem. Some days are just going to be bad and I struggle to accept the scary feelings but then they are just feelings and then there are the good days to focus on. Best to you, beautiful soul!