Struggling In Silence Everyday

[charley1894]

Very new here, finally looking for help.

I have a relatively new job, from being fired from my last one.. which I loved by the way. I hate my new job, everything about it. working 10 hours a day, made to feel tiny constantly, talked to rudely, disrespected and all for minimum wage. January this year, me and my boyfriend got our own place together, after only being together for 4 months.. I know its rushed, but we didn't have any other option, both stuck with nowhere to go, no family or friends to help us out. so we had to live in a box room for a month and then finally got a house. during the whole period of us having our own place, my partner was out of work.. and not actively looking, but now working, but were still struggling with catch up etc. Then.. After about 6/7 weeks of living together, I found that he was 'cyber cheating' on me. so having a none-physical relationship with several women, behind my back. ANYWAY, were working through it and the relationship has been going strong since.

So there is the backstory.. basically I am struggling to connect with any friends or family. I haven't been going to work regularly, ive been lying about my whereabouts to my partners (nothing sheepish, just walking around or driving around on my own. purposely making myself uncomfortable as I hate being on my own.) and I am struggling to get out of bed and be active. I used to go the gym EVERYDAY, now I just about manage to put gym clothes on. the thought repulses me.

I want to get back to work, I know I wont ever like it but I need to train myself to go. I want to get back into fitness, and I want to be able to enjoy life with my partner. why wont my mind body and soul let me do these things? Please help, my doctor just palms me off with mediciation.. that isn't the route I want to go down.

[charley1894]

Thank you, it was a very helpful reply. and i would love to get back into therapy but my financial situation at the moment doesn’t really allow for it. do you have any recommendations for the self-help books?

[hypercat54 in reply to charley1894]

If you are in the UK you can ask for NHS counselling. If not then I don't know.

If you don't want to go the medical route there is only the self help one left. Look at mindfulness, yoga, meditation etc. and also at herbal remedies such as St. John's Wort. x