My boyfriend has cheated on me in the past and right now I feel like he is but I feel guilty for not trusting him. I haven't told him that I think that. I don't think I will.
Hes left me five times , said he doesn't want or love me. After I came back from the hospital he said that he dated this girl and decided that im the only girl that he wants and he loves me and wants to spend forever with me. I don't want to have doubts but u do.
I have been in a similar situation. my current partner tells me he 'doesn't love me' 'he doesn't know what he wants' 'hes not happy' everytime we have an argument or fall out. which plants obvious doubts.. even after they say they didn't mean it, they were just angry.
I done the stupid thing of going on my partners phone one evening, and found things I wouldn't want to find. but didn't say anything. then went on it again the next night and then the next. we eventually had a talk about it all and ive come to realise. the saying 'seek and ye shall find' is so fitting to modern day relationships.
if you have doubts and you fear you don't trust him.. talk to him. have the conversation. express your feelings and if he truly cares, he will listen and act accordingly. unfortunately if that doesn't work, then id suggest focusing on yourself and not him.
Ya I'm very sure I want to be with him. I know he isn't but I just feel he is.
I know it's not a good thing but he is worth it.
Thanks
An Issue
How to tell someone you don’t trust them?
More on my move - cat issue
I want to trust myself. 
